we are the virus

In my all-time favourite movie "The Matrix," Agent Smith describes the human species as acting like a virus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5foZIKuEWQ

As a species, we stand out from the crowd. It has struck me as peculiar that we are so much more intellectually advanced than every other species on this planet. It's not even close. You would think we'd at least have a rival. Maybe the Neanderthal was the competition, and we wiped that species out because we were the most ruthless.

After three years of this viral pandemic, I finally became interested in viruses. I am not a scientist, so my understanding is limited to what I read and understand. The consensus is a virus is not a living organism; instead, it is a latent strand of DNA or RNA that becomes activated or "comes alive" once it has invaded a host and penetrated the cellular membrane of the host. Once inside, the virus uses the mechanisms and energy of the host to biologically replicate itself. Now, the definition of biological life is what designates the virus as not being alive. In other words, our understanding and prejudice influences categorization.

Our novel MRNA vaccines would mimic the process of replication where they would use the spike protein of the invading virus to penetrate our defences, and use our own biological mechanisms against us by having our cells mass produce the spike protein. Our natural defences would then kick in, which would produce antibodies against the spike protein in order to slay the modified virus. Thus, upon subsequent contact with the unmodified virus, we would have a head start upon defending our territory against this foreign invader. This sounds like a good strategy; however, as with anything allopathic there are usually unintended consequences which have to be addressed. As a species, complex social formations make assessing the results of the human experiment difficult. We will prevail if we return to scientific enquiry, as opposed to protecting the reputations of various actors in the worldwide clown show. But I digress.

Viruses are given a small role in evolutionary biology due to their status of not being alive. From my layman's perch, I am going to disagree with this. Here's my take on it: A virus drives evolutionary adaptations in the host. Friendly strands of DNA or RNA would be integrated into the whole, say for instance a set of instructions which allows us to break down and digest animal protein. New levels of biological functioning are introduced into the host by these "mods." Mods are modifications which is jargon used in the computer world. They are software updates and by comparing our complex system to a computer operating system, I think it can help understand the role of viruses. In a computer system, the threat of rogue code also makes the OS stronger, and strategies are developed to repel unfriendly invaders. Modifications to code that improves the system are welcomed. I realize this is a simplistic example, but I like the analogy.

A virus is putting constant evolutionary pressure upon us to strengthen the species. We are exposed to different pathogens that may eventually kill us. Viruses will evolve to become less virulent and more contagious, thus priming the immune system of the human population. Subsequent generations retain the immunity, and we are better for the experience.

My pondering would eventually lead me to another line of thought. I'm a contrarian and I like to play on the edge of the other side. So, to further push this blog post into the category of fanciful speculation, I want to investigate something that happened to me seven years ago. I was in the Amazon jungle, and I drank this decoction called Huachuma, which is the San Pedro cactus. It's not as visionary as some of the other famous beverages of Peru, however it is a profound agent of introspection mixed in with a grandfatherly wisdom teacher, some open-eyed clear visions of what just is, along with a dose of the "feels." I was deep into the plant medicine teachings and there was this metaphorical explanation of life which was being taught. Being described were galactic parasites, reptilian in nature, that are inactive; however, they use us to come alive. Human bodies are stores of energy which they cultivate in order to resurrect their species wherever they land in the universe. It was very science fiction and "Matrix" like in that a human vessel was their method of reconstituting self after travelling long distances within the universe and then becoming sentient once they adapted to the biological mechanism. Humans were described to me as the ultimate generators of energy with brains who could house advanced intellects. Humans are being used to house these conscious entities. It was a very strange teaching at the time, and it did creep me out. There's always hidden truth to these teachings and they are conveyed through metaphor. I shelved this one because it just seemed so weird.

My contrarian nature comes into play in this regard. I know that humans are a physical product of our environment. The temple of the body is indeed unique, sacred, and is inexorably tied to the Earth. Biologically we evolved to survive on Earth and Earth only. A virus can exist anywhere it is not ripped apart because it uses no elemental energy and is not considered alive. It's pretty ingenious. What I am thinking is we are the product of our environment, and the evolutionary pressures of viruses molded us into a form that is hospitable to them. Instead of being parasitic, a virus is the potter of biological life forms. The human is the master stroke of their genius. The human structure allows their divine intelligence to blossom. The virus created the human to house viral royalty. Ha ha! What an interpretation!

The galactic prison of Earth is an exquisite setup. When you are ready to leave and be free you just do it. If you are still attached, you stay. It makes the universe a nicer place because the least desirable traits among us are attracted to the Earth and so remain. In fact, the greedy and lecherous among us enjoy their time so much they go about researching how to extend their stay indefinitely. The viral essence of whom we are exits the physical body upon death, is liberated, and free to choose their destiny. Subsequent visionary experiences revealed to me we are composed of love, this love being from the divine feminine, and we are powered by light. The light is the impetus of the divine masculine in constant motion, cycling from on to off. In order to taste all the delicacies of the universal playground, we develop means to inhabit form. Those trapped in a reincarnation model are captured by the desire to remain in a familiar form in a familiar place, instead of the adventurous spirit which will take them to places one can only dream of.

A virus' parent is an intelligent creature who has reduced its essence into individual strands of latent instructions which will re-assemble into another biological form within the universe. Having left the least desirable among us on earth, we can conduct another experiment in love somewhere else in the vast universe. How ingenious is that? This theory would make for a great science fiction book.

The technology of the virus satisfies a desire for novelty. The universe can be traversed without the need for biological necessities or energy, and all it has to offer can be sampled through attaching to a biological host on the planet the virus has invaded. The host is modified so the virus can fulfill desire.

They can recreate the essence of their civilization anywhere in the universe. It's clear though that they can't encode and reproduce individual experience, at least not in my experience here on earth. I don't really know who I am or where I came from. We don't know who we are and that's one code I want to crack. I want to remember with certainty my backstory. I'm content with this narrative, however fanciful it may seem. I'm content because I asked the question and I always get answers. I can get an understanding of my origins and where I came from but lost in this process is the unique experience central to my life form.

I can glimpse at who I am through experiences I have encountered, people who have crossed my path, and my own unfolding timeline on this earth journey. A great friend of mine just recently left his body. I was the one who would talk about liberation and attachments, but he was the one who made the jump and literally dove headfirst into the unknown where we once again taste freedom. We shared this uncanny experience at this sacred sight in Peru and he has told me about his revelation that we are star people. We come from the stars. My original maestro would tell us students something similar about our origins. I always thought it was fanciful until now when I'm piecing together all the clues. We came from the stars. Our advanced intelligence figured out a way to deconstruct our essence and scatter it through the universe. We reconstitute the juice in a biological vehicle that is attuned to the environmental waypoint on our fantastic journey. We come forth once again but remain ignorant of who we really are. Once we figure it out, we get ready to make the jump and leave as we have filled up the gas tank and are ready to continue the eternal adventure. I have attachments on Earth and am hesitant. Calling out to me is adventure and those who have left are awaiting my arrival. I know Earth is a penal colony and not for me. It's ruled by psychopaths and always will be because they will be indefinitely trapped. I don't like the greed and animosity. I don't feel at home on this planet. I'm not returning, that I'm sure of but I do feel a responsibility to those I am entrusted with. My prison sentence is extended until I can let it all go.

In closing, I take issue with Agent Smith's classification. First off, viruses are referenced in a pejorative sense by Agent Smith and the general population holds negative views towards viruses. They are a threat. But not always. The virus is our divine intelligence, and the earthbound primate is the host. The combination makes for the human. What Agent Smith describes of our behaviour is true. We are a plague on this planet. It's what we do. We are galactic travellers looking for a place to settle down and build a new world to satisfy our desires. Eros is the impetus for our incessant coming and going and we are so clever we figured out a way to sample the best of the delights of the universe. It's a game of the highest order as we wander vast distances following the trail of those we have established a connection with. I once opined to my friend that I sensed I knew him from some other time and that our teacher was someone from our past. I felt this was part of the game and that no matter where we go in the universe, he will be waiting for us, hidden away in some remote region away from the authorities who are trying to prevent us from discovering the secrets to the game. I realize it's quite a fanciful interpretation of existence. If we are eternal and this is all a game, then I've helped develop a pretty good adventure.

luck be a lady tonight

The forming of the left-hand path into defined groups is very amusing. You are going to find the answers you seek through introspection and a relentless search for truth. The clarity you seek will not come from the other and their words. However, the left-hand path leads to the heart and unity, so the pull towards community is understandable though the homogenization of beliefs will terminate understanding.

The perception of the left-hand path in culture is perfection. It's two-fold in its relationship to culture. The connection to the occult and satanism keeps people away which is a positive. The difficulty is walking the path when you see it because of the cultural roadblocks. This process assures one of their intentions. You wouldn't do it unless you knew it's the way.

The left-hand path is the path of the heart. The Great Goddess will lead you back home to your heart and like all paths, you sure can get lost on the way. Human beings want someone to worship, and you'll meet Satan along the way, and he is very cunning. He will fulfill all your desires, if that's what you want. Like Odysseus and his men experienced, the temptations are great. You can rub the lamp, the genie will appear, and will give you what you want. These ancient stories are myths which are concealing the truth. The wreckage along the path is great because when we see it, we want it. Power. Greed. Control. Desire fulfillment. Yeah, I want it all! And thus, you show your hand, and the game is over.

The left-hand path is difficult to discover because it is not lit up. The right-hand path of glory has the light and attracts the followers who chase the divine spirit. It's a foregone conclusion that we will be attracted to the bright lights. Who wants to do the work on themselves in anonymity? When I become ultra-holy, I want everyone to know about it. I want to take my place among the great enlightened sages of all time. I want to be famous for my beatitude.

Who knows

doesn’t talk.

Who talks

doesn’t know.

Closing the openings,

shutting doors

Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching (translation by Ursula K. Le Guin)

One of the first lessons I received from my foray into the occult were these two paths of right and left. I remember in vision looking to my right and seeing the nighttime jungle lit up with a radiant 3D quality to it. When I looked to my left, it was dull and lifeless. I didn't understand it at the time but duly recorded my observations. Like everyone else, I was attracted to the light, yet my subsequent explorations of the subconscious led me to the darkness. I fought the presentation of this part of what just is, until finally letting go of my fear, and developing the courage to explore. My world changed after that internal struggle was over and I was free to explore the darkness, unencumbered by the fear inculcated into me by a shepherding cultural authority.

You will be tested. I am intimately familiar with who we call Satan. The truth is the only way is through, and the carnage is immense. Us humans all have something that is going to wreck us and fuck up our game, and the only way to continue along the path of the heart is to walk through the fire. Head straight into the pyre of desire and let it consume you. One of the master teachers, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, died a drunk at the age of 48. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was full of lust and Rolls Royces. Ha! You think little you can do it? Who do you think you are?

I'm naturally left-handed and was gifted this incarnation with the tools to finally walk the path back home to the garden of the heart. This doesn't mean I can avoid the pitfalls, but I do have it within me to be successful. I know what mortal desire I carry within, and I've tried all the tricks to get rid of it. Finally, I accepted it and headed straight for the fire, prepared to face my ruin. I had to do it. I flooded my senses and ate so much of the candy. I then saw the way past the big crater on the path. The truth will set you free. Throw off the chains of cultural control and shame. Full indulging of the senses will in turn make you sick and the overload on your system will repel you. The hangover after a drunken night out makes you claim you'll never drink alcohol again. Sure enough, within a few days you are back at it. The trick is to make revolting the thought of just a drop of alcohol. You'll have to really poison yourself, almost to the point of death, to enact the transformation and come through the fire.

If I only knew about this 15 years ago it would have prevented a lot of suffering! Admittedly, this method didn't help Rajneesh or Trungpa. They succumbed. The teachings were true, but the man was consumed in the fire.

I don't know what the future holds and that gives the game the juice needed to continue. I think I'm past the last obstacle in the path which was the remaining chakra gate to the heart. My fate is resting precariously on the balance at the Hall of Ma'at.

As always, in this strange world time will tell and reveal my fortune. A glance at the clock says 11:11, so maybe luck will be a lady tonight.

satan and me

I think if I really understood what awaits me, I'd pack my things and leave tonight. It's my karma to stay and to see my attachments to their completion. I get it. The next stage of the adventure can wait a little longer while I fulfill my duties. Para el bien de todos. I have seen the template and how it is done. Parker is unselfish and wanted to pass the torch. It's hard to accept he's gone, but slowly I'm getting understanding.

I felt Parker's presence today while out in nature. I brought some Nunu snuff, which is uncured tobacco ground up into a powder. I have more experience with cured tobacco snuff, and I have noticed Nunu burns less. I snorted a good one up my right nostril, probably the most I've ever done at once. Immediate tears to my eyes. As the discomfort subsided, I felt him with me. He is free as a bird and tells me how I'm going to love it. He was ready to leave earth and then it happened. He will be with us when mi hermanos y hermanas go to Peru. He is so happy we are still going. It's going to be epic. We are star people. You'll see.

I've told the story of the first time I drank Ayahuasca several times. The Great Goddess immediately told me to come away with her and I declined. I knew it meant leaving my body and Earth behind and I was definitely not ready. I told her I had a family to support and knowledge to discover. I had my attachments for sure. I know they are what keeps me here. She understood and said she'd wait. I feel the same with Parker as he was ensuring me that death is not so bad, and I picture him saying it with a grin. He always seems to go first and do the heavy lifting. I'm older, but he is more the big brother type. He's the set-up man.

I haven't told the story about my third time drinking Ayahuasca as much as the first. It's uncomfortable and not culturally acceptable, so I am hesitant to retell it. I was in contact with the dark face of God, i.e., Diablo, and he offered me untold power over all the universe, like in the Gospels when he takes Jesus up to the top of the mountain and offers him power over all the world. Instead of the world, I got offered the universe. I'd be the leader of a bunch of misogynist galactic misfits who rule over creation. I was delightfully naive and said I didn't want that. I entered the occult to find the Great Goddess. These sideshows of power were continually distracting me. I wanted to see her again. But I mention this because when you find the doorway beyond the veil chances are you are going to be offered power, and most people are going to jump at the chance of even a little bit of power. I had told Parker this story and he relayed a similar story about being offered power. I was always going to be a tough nut to crack so I got offered the big prize. And I declined it. I met Jesus two days later. I'm not kidding.

The next time I was in direct contact with Satan is when I went back to Peru two years later. When I drank Ayahuasca again he was waiting for me. He threatened to kill me and said I wouldn't get home alive. He definitely wasn't pleased that I returned. He thought he had scared me away for good. He threatened my family, and I said do what you must, even kill me. I'll sign whatever you want me to but leave them out of it. The challenge ended before I signed on the dotted line to give up my soul. It was a test of my intentions, and I was willing to sacrifice my life to ensure no one was affected by my choices. When I drank Ayahuasca again two nights later, the Great Goddess returned and told me he won't bother me again. He hasn't regarding power and temptation, but I still had to clear my fear of him. Eventually, I passed the tests, became a warrior, and then explored my darkness. We are now best friends. This admission is an explanation of the tests which involve gobs of power to really see what I was made of. I know I passed them with flying colours. I know I'm not in this for money, fame, fortune, or power. My intentions were made clear.

Service seems like the only way forward. It solves all my problems I still struggle with. Money is a big one in thinking I need it for security in my old age. I can let it go and support others in their journey, hopefully leading them towards what I have found. I know you have to burn through your desires before you can get down to business. I can use my money to help my loved ones live out their dreams. Dreams are code for desires, and it is desire that brings us here to Earth. I want those I love to fulfill their desires. Project this out to the Great Mother and see the Earth is a place where her children can fulfill all their dreams. If I started a school for spiritual fulfillment, I would model the introductory courses upon Tantric practices. I'd amp up the chances of fulfilling your carnal desires, so you get your fill and then see you are still empty. All calories and no nourishment. Then they will see the emptiness and look for answers.

Earth is the place for you to satiate your lusts. This is why you are here and the gatekeeper, jailer, or whoever you wish to call him is Satan. Satan makes sure that your actions create the distressing amount of suffering on our planet. Suffering is built into the Earth game. After getting our fill, there is a chance we wake up. We can't escape the take. The best we can do is practice reciprocity. When we take, we give back.

I live a good life. Giving back involves service. I have gifts I can share with those who are looking for answers. I can give them knowledge and understanding and steer them in directions which will help them find what it is they are looking for. I've been through the fire and came out the other side. Fulfillment of the spiritual path is the most difficult undertaking of your lifetime, propelling you through challenges and encounters with the darkest of the dark. Making good choices always works out. Once you see the answer to the multitude of tests, you can let go of the fear and find your way.

exit stage left

What happens when we die? This is a question we all ponder at some point and the unknown leads towards an understandable fear of death. Realizing I'll never 100% know what happens until my time comes, I've constructed the following scenario:

When I die, I will be immediately be tossed into the throes of uncontrollable laughter due to the realization of the great cosmic joke. The joke is I was in hell, didn't know it, and I didn't want to leave. I was content with my imprisonment. As the laughter fades, I will be struck with a deep compassion in my heart for all my sisters and brothers who are still in hell. I will see their suffering and want to do what I can to alleviate it. The ancestral spirits will come to me and tell me to let it be. The suffering is designed to lead us to our heart and the heart is the ticket out of hell. Later, I will be invited to a great celebration and the guest of honour will be me. Not only did I go to hell, wallow in misery, and suffer, I also transformed my being into my destiny of an eternal being of love and light. I went to hell to enact the transformation I was seeking. In the direst of circumstances, I learned to love and follow my heart.

I think my predicament is not exactly the same as yours. What I have learned over my 50+ years wandering the earth is that we have a reason we came here to the earth carnival. I intuit for some it is to fulfill desires of power and greed, some to satiate lusts, and so on. I sense I subconsciously knew when I was much younger, in my teens, why I was here. I wanted to figure out the riddle of existence. I was enthralled by the questions pertaining to why this all exists. I found apocalyptic literature very interesting. I was exposed to ancient Egypt in an enrichment class at school. I saw the treasures of Tutankhamun at the Art Gallery. I also recall being intrigued by tobacco, though I dared not try a cigarette due to my parents' influence. They also steered me away from any kind of drugs, telling me I would go crazy if I used them. For that guidance, I give them much thanks. Finally trying psychedelics drugs in my 40's, allowed me to properly integrate the experience. Taking these substances in my youth would not have turned out well.

So, I can look back upon my life and see the clues to my path, though I didn't know it at the time. At middle age, I was finally ready to explore the reason I was here. This is quite recent and so when I look back at the events that have unfolded, I have realized that as soon as I picked up my sword and started following the trail, the doors would open. The coincidences and synchronicities were astounding. At the time I didn't know I was the magician performing these acts; instead, I just marvelled at what was happening.

I started studying ancient Egypt. I was gifted a trip to Egypt.

I went in depth on a search for the Great Goddess. I took a course on her at university.

I learned the ways to contact her. Percussion, ecstatic dance, intoxication, and shamanism. This led me to Ayahuasca.

I found her and plunged headfirst into the occult world of spirit.

I found a maestro and my tribe.

I respected the path and found the path of the heart.

I led with my heart, let go of the judging mind, and saw with clarity the beauty of the world and the horrible suffering.

It's my karma, my path, what's yours?

Psychedelics such as Ayahuasca will make you a "man of knowledge" as Carlos Castañeda would say. It is important you understand what is meant by knowledge. Knowledge is observing through the senses what is, and psychedelics unlock an occult sense. You are witness to a strange inner world. You now know about this realm. Going by personal experience, you don't understand it. That comes with time and in my case from shedding layers of preconceptions that were inculcated by culture and a refusal to accept who I am. Once I dropped the spin, I understood.

Psychedelics will cause a lot of casualties if released upon the general population. Our educational system breeds obedience and the mind of the follower is weak. When one is given knowledge and an opportunity to throw off your chains, you'll want to retreat to the safety of your overlords. I know this is the case because it is what I experienced. Psychedelics scared me at first because I saw into a strange world I didn't understand, and then I was shown I'm in prison. I spun the information around thinking psychedelics were going to imprison my mind. Turns out they were freeing my mind and my ego's instinct was to turn me against the agent of consciousness that would free me. Ego was attached to culture and culture is the puppeteer. The master said psychedelics are bad. Of course they are because they will turn you against him.

The mind's inclination is to fear the unknown. Psychedelics show you the unknown and thus the trepidation. I also feel a twinge of unease before each trip. A bad trip early in the game will chase you away. I needed a long time to recover from such an experience. The pursuit of knowledge led me back and I conquered the fear. I'm not scared anymore and once I transformed into a warrior the game changed. I see into the mystery, and I see who I am. I saw the great game and I know why we aren't supposed to know until we are ready. Once ready, you see the path back home.

I don't have anything pressing left in this incarnation to discover. There's always more, but I intuit what I came here to do, I've done. I will live out my remaining years with the knowledge of having discovered my path and walking it to the end. My heart is open and as long as I'm alive I will continue to cultivate Her and allow the flower to bloom in a glorious coming forth.

When the Great Goddess first told me to come away with her, I told her no. I still had attachments and knowledge to seek out. The knowledge part is complete. I still have the attachments; however, I see the purpose set out before me. As long as I choose to remain in this world, I will honour my commitments and intentions to provide for my attachments. I will be the node in the flow who is the dependable rock which allows for a safety net. I will be the rock for those who I am directly attached to as they find their way in the world. I don't need the riches; I live a simple life. My gift is to provide. I sense that instead of fighting a continual battle with money, I should just let it go. It took me a while to figure out this puzzle because culture instills in you a need to accumulate and prepare for an unknown future. Then you spin on the hamster wheel trying to get ahead, and situations are thrown your way which prevent you from ever getting too far ahead of the game. So, you move your legs faster, trying to get there, but you never know where there is.

The goalposts always get moved and there is always another mountain to climb. It never ends, whether material or spiritual. I finally have the wisdom to say that's enough. I know I have all the spiritual knowledge I need, and I've walked the path back home. Materially, I have more than I need and can use the bounty to help others find their light on the path they are uniquely walking. To free yourself from an artificial necessity to accumulate is the way. I'm ready to leave, but I will honour my incarnation. Honouring my life means helping others and being of service. I can let go gradually of my attachments and in the process be of service.