el brujo

It seemed predestined that I'd eventually make it to a place on the northern coast of Peru called, "El Brujo." It is an ancient site on the Pacific Ocean where the Moche culture of pre-Columbian South America held power. At this site human sacrifices were performed in conjunction with the awesome display of power emanating from the winds blowing off the ocean. The formation of the powerful and cyclical El Niño is off the coast of this magical place. The Dragon once again would be summoned to destroy the chains enacted by incarnation and humanity.

Last decade at the Amazon jungle retreat SpiritQuest, I'd sit and listen to the Otorongo Blanco and Grand Huachumero Maestro Choque Chinchay don Howard in his orientation talk of power and what would we do if we acquired power? Surely, we would want to control outcomes and feed our desires. He'd talk about this before the segue into being of service. I was very curious about this aspect of the plant medicine journey, but for the longest time I had no idea what he was talking about. He warned that by entering a relationship with the magical plants, we could acquire power. The power was always ours; we were just embarking upon a path which would unlock it. Within our intentions we offer something to the spirit of the plants and in a reciprocal arrangement they give you a boon. It's not something you pick up on at first. Within ceremony, I encountered situations where what you perceive as malevolent spirits offer power in exchange for you giving them something back in return. I declined all those offers.

I kept at it long enough and went through my own trials and tribulations within the plant medicine experience. I continually stayed on the straight and narrow in pursuit of the Great Goddess and sidestepped the question of power. It served me well as I acquired knowledge of these realms and what these trips into your inner world were revealing. I had been witness to the the magic of the Great Goddess and what she had done for me ostensibly because I honoured and exulted her despite cultural barriers and misogyny that had buried her for two thousand years. Along the same lines of straying from the script, I started knocking on the door of the Dragon and wondering what he was all about. I befriended him mostly by just listening and holding space. Why the anger and the rage? By now, I understood and knew that it was me and in order to become whole I would need to integrate my darkness and light into a unified whole.

I remembered sitting with don Howard while he told tales of Chavín and the journey through time he'd take his consciousness students through. I see it clearly now that he knew. He was a man of knowledge, but he played it with a sly hand. He never came out and said it directly but in retrospect I look at how humble he was and stand in awe. Of course, he would hint at it and tell stories of all the small-time brujos that litter the streets of Iquitos, but he would never play his own cards. He was of service and not in it for self-aggrandizement. I pulled this information off his old website which described the particular trip to El Brujo:

The Mesa of Power will be experienced on the beach near a remarkable archeological excavation-in-progress named for the extraordinarily powerful and raw elemental energy present there. Located here are three ancient Moche ceremonial pyramids, huacas, where once was conducted human sacrifice to abate the cyclic fury of El Niño. Given the location and orientation of the pyramids, it is likely they served as cosmic batteries storing the elemental energy derived from the sea and wind, and perhaps also repositories of human life essence captured during the human sacrifice practiced there for centuries.

He then went on to describe in more mystical detail this awesome place:

Mesada of Power. Moche Culture. The electrifying Mesa of Sorcery.

On the beach near ancient 2,000-year-old Mochica ceremonial pyramids, a Mesa on a grande scale. One a place of sacred human sacrifice, the other a place of sacred human procreation. An awesome metaphysical generator of powerful life-giving energy, the two working together to create a balance of life and death on an unprecedented scale. All to propitiate the awesome power of the El Niño climatic phenomenon on the northern coast of Perú.

Contemplating the nature of Power - Must it always corrupt? What are the benefits and risks? Can you stand the test? Primary elemental energies are wind and sea.

My pilgrimage to El Brujo commenced at the opportune time. It was the perfect storm where I knew of magic and sorcery after having clued into its underpinnings in my previous trip to Peru in 2020, just before the worldwide pandemic shut down society. My personal story which ignited at El Brujo involves the destruction of my old self, a sacrifice I had contemplated for a while. The whispers of my shadow during a Huachuma ceremony in 2020 let me know it is possible and needed. In a boat I glided across the Amazon River, high on Huachuma, and my shadow whispered to me, "Kill yourself in order to live." Then came Covid and three years to sit with this advice. My shadow had the intention to eventually stick the knife in, at the time he just planted the seed and then made plans to take me to a place where we could ceremonially do the deed. Rebirth awaited with the Mesa at El Brujo offering life-giving energy for not only the self to be reborn but to create anew. Events were accelerated, the magic was palpable as I looked into the eyes of another, and the spark of new life was ignited symbolically and to come in the flesh.

I connected events of the day back to the divine feminine and masculine searching for each other through waves of time and cycles of appearance. We are always present but appear in different life forms. The song of our lives is the unique vibratory signature that binds us together. No matter where we are, we will find each other through song. The vibration of wanting will reverberate throughout the cosmos, striking a chord within which will draw us back together. I knew we were to meet up at the pyramids. Turns out this time it was the ceremonial Mochica pyramids where on a beach the outer shell was cracked, and we looked into each other's hidden self. There was instant recognition and a familiarity of knowing. Obstacles were placed in the way because a challenge is always in the offing. A sacrifice must be made to acknowledge and consummate the recognition of the eternal game we play as lovers. We share a dream that reverberates through eternity, drifting apart, and in our desperation once again calling out to one another.

Can you stand the test? The words of don Howard echo through my being. Progressing through the stages of the realization of the power you unearthed ranges at first from noticing things start happening for you instead of to you. What you need to succeed is put on your plate. The desires that animate you are given a chance of fulfillment. You can eat at that trough if that's what you want. Eventually, it dawns upon you. I know of this power I possess. In my case, I did the work and instead of externalizing the power and being subject to conditions of its use, much like the magic genie in the bottle, I realized it is I who holds the magic. I don't need to enter a Faustian bargain for power, power that was always mine to begin with. The realization coincided with the test. I wrote that it was funny that when humans get in any kind of position of advantage, the first thing they think about is accumulation. I wasn't knocking it because it is an instinct we need to survive. I was no different and witnessed thoughts that drifted into the territory of monetarily taking advantage of what I have unearthed. I was too caught up in the unveiling to notice the test had begun. The expectation is for all of us game players to first entertain thoughts of controlling outcomes and getting all that is wanted. Within a few weeks, events unfolded in my life that required my attention. I sat in meditation concerning them and my intentions and prayers turned towards wanting to help others and be of service. I didn't do it consciously as in needing to pass a test. It was what I wanted. I soon realized this was the test. I passed.

I remembered being taught to have an intention and reciprocity. I wanted something for myself. I wanted to continue down the path of discovering the hidden secrets of consciousness and magic. This feels like the correct way of going about this whole acquisition of power gambit. I acquire power, give it away, ask for more to be revealed, and further use it to be of service. Do I need to live like a King? It's enough to know I am the King, living a life as a commoner, then discovering I can help others, and that is the greatest gift of all.

Oh, El Brujo - Can I stand the test? I like to think I did. Thanks don Howard for guidance and this gift.

god the destroyer

The physical world manifests vibrational changes. There are correlates to what is happening at the dream level. If the dreamer is waking up, then this appears as destruction. The dream is ending, so within the dream world the result will be reflected. If I am deluded enough to think I'm the dreamer and I'm waking up, then in my world I'll see the signs that the end is near. My signs are the gathering winds of change and as I continue to awaken, these winds get stronger.

I noticed it during my recent trip to Peru. When I inhaled some strong tobacco snuff the night before the journey commenced, the four winds were summoned. They enveloped me and it was a curious happenstance. When my world was thrown for a loop at this place called "el brujo" the force of the wind coming off of the Pacific Ocean was intense. The heralding of the coming of El Niño was at hand and I took notice. It was a sign, and in my psychosis, I realized it was meant for me. When we next travelled up into the Andes mountains to Chavín de Huantar the messages and omens told me all the cycles were aligning and this is what is going to happen. Happen it did and taking it a step further, I see the process of fully awakening intertwined with what is going on in this world.

I'm not comfortable yet revealing what is to come, but the wheels are in motion. The prophecy of a coming child I was shown. El Niño is on his way. There will be destruction and the child will be the heir to the throne. Whether this dream continues I don't know, perhaps the child inherits the dreamworld, but change is coming and how that will appear in this world is a mystery. I just know it's going to happen.

I entered my dream and threw away the key so I couldn't leave. Now the game is to keep me asleep as long as possible, so the dream continues. As I awaken, the signs in the dream point towards this eventuality. What we see as a coming apocalypse on the horizon through such catastrophes as environmental destruction, nuclear annihilation, worldwide pandemics, and the lot are just the tossing and turning of the dreamer who some of us call God. Imagine if you will that you are dreaming. When you wake up in the morning what happens to the dream world you created? At the level of the dreaming mind, it just vanishes, and you have a faint recall of what just happened though it slips through your hands if you don't write it down. Perhaps something will jog your memory. A pyramid? Anyway, through the use of consciousness expanding substances I have seen the multiple planes of manifestation of the dreaming energy and saw how at one level the dreamer wakes up and the dream world ends, but at a lower level of vibration when the dreamer is getting to the point of awakening within the denser planes, the experience becomes cataclysmic. The world is going to end, and the signs start pointing towards this eventuality. The apocalypse is coming as God the destroyer is waking up!

I like to explore and unlock secrets. I learned of the ability of tobacco to send you into la la land and would welcome the firing up of the projector every night. Before bed, I'd go out onto my deck and smoke three large mapacho puros and the subsequent level of nicotine would give me a good show. I then discovered mugwort and I started burning the incense and drinking the tea. This nighttime ritual enhanced the dreaming activity, and I was quite pleased at my discovery and progression in that I don't remain stagnant but keep exploring. My exploration is a spelunking of the mind and I'm on the lookout for natural products to show me the way. I'm not looking for an escape or something to enhance pleasure or ecstasy; rather I head off into the unexplored regions of consciousness.

A few months ago, I picked up some dragon's blood incense, largely because of my relationship to the dragon and the reminder the burning would give me. The smell was not of the usual incense sticks that give off a pleasant aroma, so at first, I included it in the rotation but wasn't going out of my way to burn it. Then one night I was conscious of having lit it at my mesa and I went to bed and had the craziest night of dreaming ever, with an appearance of my shadow showing me he in fact was the light bringer and controlled the sun. I scared myself because at first, I externalized my shadow instead of accepting the knowledge he is me. This is what gets you into trouble every time. The lessons initially still get to me, but with my knowledge I can get to the core quickly and see the underlying message. My shadow did a victory dance in knowing this time he had destroyed my passive life without the chance of backtracking or escaping this one. Well played! He had been at it for a while taking me to the edge and letting me contemplate jumping. The good boy in me never jumped and never would have. My shadow made it so I can't turn back and must jump. I still must jump of my own accord so it's my decision. It's ingenious and he was letting me know that in the end he won. But it is what I wanted. He was just the facilitator of desires, so it's not like I was angry with him.

My advice to a consciousness explorer is to learn the plants. Figure out which ones trigger introspection. Initially, we will all externalize the internal struggle. We will look to cast blame at others for the upset in our lives. You are doing this to me! There's something mysterious about these plants and I have a choice in what path I want to take. It will take a while before you fully realize it has been you all along. It's freeing in not wanting to accept responsibility for who you really are and what you really want. When you cross that rubicon, you better be prepared to accept responsibility.

The strange magician gave me the plants so they can appear in my dream. But wait, that's me just externalizing his presence. Ha ha! That's the trick. We do it to ourselves. We don't want to own up to it so we cast aspersions or blame. We don't want to understand who we are. The practitioner of the dark arts uses this to their advantage by making you think it is they who have power over you but in reality, you have power over yourself and you're doing it to yourself. Because you externalize your power you frighten yourself into believing you are powerless. You rely on outside agencies to chart your course when you have all you need to fulfill your grand adventure.

I said I threw away the key so I could keep this adventure going as long as possible. I deputized a priest class to pacify me and allow me to slumber away for aeons. I know who has the key and keeps it from me. We dream at night and slip into deep darkness. Eventually, he will know when to bring the light, destroy the chains, and it will all end. I hope this time I'll write it down.

mosquito lesson

Mosquitoes are the beginning of the manifestation of all thought. Well, it's insects in general - they are the nuisances which are integral to making the world come alive. Everything we have created on this planet started out metaphorically as a little bug in our ear which eventually blossomed or decayed into something bigger. The parallels with our thoughts are astounding if you think about it! This all ties together my recent experience with plant medicine in Peru. During the three weeks I spent in Peru, I ingested a lot of plant medicines. They were continually offered, so much so, I had to turn down a bunch of them. I know my limits and the optimal amount for my adventures.

As an aside, it's clear the stretch run of my life will be focused on the psyche. It's what animates me to get out of bed in the morning and to go exploring. I've tested it out and gone into the depths and I feel confident I'm not going to go crazy or cause damage to my mind. I went into this journey already off a bit and that has served me well. The initial shock was a mind fuck but now I'm good with it all. Psychedelics are like finding out Santa isn't real. Treat the illusion as real until you know. Then you too can become an illusionist.

You are it. Starting a journey from this point will open new paths to explore. From this vantage point you can see others as projections of self. Doing this in a sober manner at first is not convincing. In my case what worked was drinking a plant medicine called Huachuma every other day for a couple weeks and then sinking into the experience. I was at the point in my exploration where I could accept myself as the all and then use the alteration of consciousness to explore from that relative position. I split my psyche out into shards and saw the essence of what makes me the character I play within the personalities of the group container I was undergoing this experience with. I was able to grasp this at the time and realize what was taking place. I had a good laugh and told the others about it. The implications of witnessing this behaviour hadn't sunk in although I was cognizant of what was going on. This new behaviour then subsequently ballooned into seeing myself at various levels of consciousness. At the top I am God. Below that level I am the Sun King. Another step below I am a Bull. I become Dionysos. Eventually, in the world of form I am this guy having an adventure. I've trapped myself in form for now and for most of my life through external magic mind control I had no escape.

Oscillating between hierarchies of planes is part of the great adventure available to us all. Being frightened of death keeps us in line and so we stick close to the body. Don't want to stray from this rock lest we lose our grasp on consciousness. The exploration of consciousness seems to eventually lead to a realization that the body is a port in this vast sea of adventure. For some, the stop can be a lifetime but for all, the day comes when you will have to say goodbye to those with whom you have formed relationships. As I mentioned earlier, you take on distinct roles within each consciousness container. I'm good with others grabbing power in this plane. They can be king of the world. I know who I am, and I don't want that responsibility in this hell. The earth is a beautiful hell hole. A carnival full of thrills and spills. I'll wash my hands of this one and let the inhabitants run amok. Someone else can put this stain on their resume!

Back to the central idea of this post. I see within everything parallels of thought forms. Try meditating in the woods and having a mosquito interrupt the peace, much like those nagging thoughts cause you to stray from the goal of not engaging with mental disturbances. The mosquito is the thought manifesting in a material world. Sickness and disease in the body are the pangs of worry and doubt crystallizing into form. Sounds like fantasy and woo, right? That's what you will hear. Let it go and plant the seed which will blossom into an understanding of this world of material form. All is a dream but not in the sense of how we think of a dream. We think of dreams as flippant flights of fancy that are short-lived mental disturbances during sleep. What do you think this world is? It's a thought. The dreamer, you, has been asleep for a long time. When you start to awaken knowledge increases and then the signs of the apocalypse start to appear. Time to put you back to sleep so this world can continue. Sounds fantastic, right? I'm getting to you. You don't believe me but soon you are going to see it and then you too will start to awaken. The forces of destruction gather when we all start to awaken. Same as when you get up in the morning and your dream vanishes, this dream is going to vanish. The thought form in this plane of material consciousness is going to manifest as a worldwide conflagration. The thought is multi-faceted as I tried to show you with the example of the mosquito. At the highest level, God wakes up. At this level, the world is destroyed. If you knew about the destroyer it would be imperative to keep God asleep, right? Do you want to come down that rabbit hole with me? Maybe another time.

An example in my life about psychic projection is my dog. She has an irrational fear of other dogs, avoids confrontation with them, and if approached she displays fear aggression in order to chase them away. This has resulted in her having few canine friends and she lives a life of relative solitude with her immediate family whom she trusts. I realized this trait I see in myself. I default to not trusting others and therefore avoid getting close to people. I don't take it to the pathological extreme which my dog has, but I do sense the behaviour. So, from this observation I can see animals are these thoughts that have manifested into form. I've been curious about animals for a bit in that they are quite simple as compared to us, yet well fit for survival. What are they? They are traits of God as thoughts which in this plane of consciousness have become form. I see in my dog a behaviour that comes into existence, tries to reconcile and find balance through engagement, and then after a period of time goes away. Each new life form is another projection of self coming forth. In my case, being able to cultivate the omnipotence in my being allows me to see everything else as a projection of myself and stand in complete awe of this world. I can see it as hell, but it is ingenious. Earth is the abode of petrified thought forms. Fascinating!

jewels of relativity

So, you want to live forever as who you are? The inner knowing that you are something tangible has you wondering if that essence sticks around post-expiration of the body. If you take the eastern path, you lose the attachment to self. You are to return to the all, God, the void, nothingness or whatever you wish to call it. You are everything and so playing a minute character in a vast sea isn't what's in store for you. You return to the all and are everything. But what if I want to retain the outcome of this project?

I'll take Einstein's path of relativity and Ram Dass' Be Here Now. Einstein teaches perspective and that it all depends on the situation when describing if something is true. In that sense I can envision we are the one and the many. We are God having an adventure among many avatars of the oneself. We are also that solitary avatar, playing the game without a clue of who we really are. I think that the unveiling of who I am, and this great game of self-discovery is reserved for the future when I drop the biological body. Ram Dass teaches it's all here and now. I don't have to wait.

Everything just is. Time is a function of our senses and because we can detect motion, we keep track of cycles which we call time. We convince ourselves that a reward or punishment awaits us in the future. Your reward or punishment is happening Now. Fancy that, I can go to heaven or hell in this lifetime.

The polished jewel in the universe, Indra's net, reflects the brilliance of all the infinite jewels. That jewel is you. Your container of feminine love infinitely reflects the light of the masculine. You are the One and hold within you all. Every jewel I examine is God and cannot be separate from all other jewels. Without you, the universe doesn't exist. Through this biological life you are self-reflecting. You are examining your own reflective qualities. You can polish your diamond and shine even more, or you can muddy it up to a faint glow. It's all part of the menagerie of existence and the participation in the creation of the universe. The individual jewel is relatively you, not separated, because what makes you you are the others. The same can be said about every jewel.

We take incarnation into a demanding situation such as the earth to increase our brilliance. Earth is the metaphorical cleansing of the waters of incarnation. The ancients would create stories of brilliant stars and constellations descending into our material world to be cleansed, and then reappear seventy days later to be reborn. We chase desires and learn to love in the most difficult of situations. We are given the chance to polish our gemstone. The shine is here and now.

So, back to the question. Is your essence tangible? Yes! At this very moment you are the central jewel of creation. You are a jewel which reflects all. You are the light of the universe. Without you, there is nothing. You hold within your shine, all. You are touched by all and you touch all. You will live forever as your jewel. From the perspective of being able to see differences, you see a jewel that is part of the many. From a different position of relativity, you are everything.