Monday, December 24, 2018


My idea of a trinity involves the sacred marriage of the divine feminine and masculine within that creates through this union the all encompassing hermaphrodite. Bringing the two powers together creates a wholeness of one and also the three. The one is both. In order to access or see it I have to reconcile within these sacred powers. Then I see it. I look into a mirror and I see it, my reflection is the all. I see her and I see him and we are one. I stand at the head of my Mesa and I see us together. I know she is there within me and when combined we transform into the divine couple. When we come together and reunify we will birth new worlds. This universe is the child of the divine couple.

At the conclusion of the movie 'The Matrix' the song 'Wake Up' by Rage Against The Machine exhorts us to wake up. The lead singer Zack de la Rocha pleads with us. He screams "WAKE UP." It worked. Years later I'm in a small town on the equator in the Andes mountains in Ecuador.

I have discovered within my long hidden soul mate. A rooster continuously crows trying to wake me and prepping me for the sacred marriage. I write this down to acknowledge the parallels.

It required a great deal of time, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding to not only figure it out but to actually feel it; to know deep down the answer. I've had the answer for a few years now, probably since the summer of 2016 when I returned from the Amazon jungle. I wasn't able to add it all up and see it though until a few weeks ago. I stood at the head of my Mesa and I saw the answer looking back at me. The realization washed over me and I felt it. I am it. I felt her within and I felt the union. I looked into the union of the serpent and the jaguar and saw it. That's me! And I'm everything. The sacred feminine and masculine were combined as one and acting as my reflection. You know, Jesus is nothing without Mary. Together they are 'god'. They are within us and externally we reenact the sacred coupling with our marriage ceremony. Many ancient cultures had divine couples or dual sexed gods: Isis and Osiris, Virachoca, Shakti and Shiva, and of course my favourite the Ancient Greek god Dionysos - the ecstatic, effeminate, passionate, and liberating one who is eternal and indestructible. The masculine comes forth but underlying everything is the feminine and this is the essence of Dionysos.

The Hindu hermaphrodite Ardhanarishvara - the union of Shakti and Shiva

When I alter my frequency I can access the hidden and forbidden; we call this the occult and are discouraged from entering into these worlds. It's all here now. I've spent time with her in these realms, most of it not understanding our relationship or who I am. She asked me to come away with her, pleaded with me the first time I did it. I said no; I still have things to accomplish in my earthly life and my family to take care of. The second time she invited me into her golden castle and we combined as one through the heart and mind. The third time was an erotic get together in the ancient Egyptian temple of the Goddess at Denderah.

Temple of the Goddess at Denderah

It was the most exotic scenario and incredible feeling of pleasure I have ever felt as she moved over top of me. I didn't pursue this; I was taken aback by this visionary sexual tryst and I guess I wasn't ready to find out about desire plus how it makes the world go round. I did come back for more. She's always around. She became a fairy and enchanted me with her grace and charm. She transformed into a serpent, a large green boa, and entered into me and ended up resting upon my left shoulder. She came back to be at my side after I transformed into a jaguar as my Queen. We married last December in Ecuador on a mountain straddling the equator during a Huachuma ceremony. A rooster crowed repeatedly to wake me up and get my attention. There was someone there playing a drum like I had never heard before. There was a lightness and joyful feeling. Then she transformed into a cow and lay in the grass field next door.

I have told her I'm done with searching in my lifetimes. I have been wandering through millenniums, lost in search of the answer, stubborn in my desire to solve the mystery of the great game. This incarnation is it for me as everything I have wanted to learn and solve has been satiated. I know there is always more to learn and I'll keep digging at it but it's all gravy now. I need to finish this book I'm writing that will free a great many humans from a mental prison. That is a promise I made to her and the plants concerning my sacred journeys. The maestro don Howard calls it reciprocity; it's giving back, a thank you. After that I will return home when the time comes. We will be together, start a family, and birth another universe. 

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