I was on my deck smoking mapacho and contemplating the sheer incalculability and the favourable conditions needed to birth and sustain life upon earth. From just a cursory look at it, the earth is at an optimal position away from a star that gives off the optimal amount of heat and energy. The earth needed to be seeded with the building blocks of life and then conditions had to be present to enact a spark that put it all in motion. Then the atmosphere had to cool and carbon removed from the atmosphere in order for life to gain a foothold on land. Eventually the species I lay claim to had to exist in trees to avoid being eaten up by the predators that roamed the earth. Then some event had to occur that evolved our brain size and cognitive skills. The result is I’m sitting down in front of this computer entering my thoughts into something called a word processor that I can then share with the rest of my species on this planet. I’ve left out a great deal of the steps needed to get to this point! However it is quite incredible that this is the situation at hand. What dawned on me was this is so implausible that it I figure it is the closest proof I will ever get to the theory that the universe’s source is the mentation of a mind at large that dreams the world into existence and I guess by dream I mean creates by fiat through mental processes that manifest as vibrational energy. I wonder if the process is even aware of the physics involved in concocting this fantasy realm that we live in or if it just does it? I mean it sounds ridiculous except for when we scientifically investigate the structure of existence, get into subatomic particles, and it is a non stop rabbit hole of discovery where we think we have found the source and natural physical laws, but it gets fuzzy again and breaks out into chaos and vibrational patterns and on it goes from particles to waves and so on.
I had another one of those aha moments because of this. My thought processes lately have been a gradual letting go of anything concrete to rest my conception of the fount of existence on. I let go of unity because I realized I was objectifying it and using it to declare the self as an illusion. I finally came to the understanding that they are one process and a continuing pattern of energy that cycles between unity and self and neither can lay claim to truth or being the ultimate state of anything. It’s an interesting perspective and it opens up another pandora box of thinking. It’s like the situation where I have said before I can listen to Alan Watts over and over again and perhaps on the tenth time listening to a lecture I will finally get it and have an aha moment. It’s become obvious now why as I keep unlocking blocks in my thinking processes that when I clear them finally allows me to understand what he is talking about. The man is a genius and his philosophy is all laid out but you end up missing so much of it until you evolve your own thinking processes. Then it becomes a wondrous journey again and again. The same approach works well with my curiosity and speculation upon existence.
It’s got me thinking about the illusory structure of matter that breaks down into vibration when you examine it. Everything alive is always on the move and changing so to pinpoint matter or nouns of any nature is fundamentally illusory. Just like you and I are illusory because we are just temporary and our bodily existence will perish. I should probably use the word temporary instead of illusory as it will probably lessen the confusion however I have to admit the word illusory has a mystery behind it and is more impactful in the way that it challenges your thinking. It is important to challenge your thinking as that is how you grow intellectually and your thoughts expand and mature. I mean when you say it is all illusory what the hell are you talking about? It’s constant change. Pause here so you can grasp this concept. So anyways with my new thinking processes I can now see that matter is actually part of a process; an ongoing pattern of life where the energy becomes form, densifies, and creates matter. Then it goes through a dissolution process and returns to free flowing energy but it is all the same pattern. One of my hang ups was I insisted matter be a state of permeance as opposed to a temporary stop on the energetic path. Just like unity and the self are stops along the way of the process which I like to describe as a flower that comes forth from the seed, blooms as the metaphor of self, and then returns to its origins. Matter is the expected result of an energy system that is in constant flux and really isn’t illusory, just like you aren’t, but temporary.
The path to the realization of self and its opposite no self involves riding the thinking wave. Physically we recognize the boundary of our body encapsulated by an epidermis even though fundamentally we can't separate it from the environment. Mentally we enact the separation by thinking about what we are sensing. Then we start to delineate based upon perception. Thinking is the crowning achievement of self. Light is its symbol.
In closing I’d like to give a shout out to the use of substances that can facilitate a change in consciousness that unlocks the potential of the mind and its thinking processes. I’ll present myself as exhibit ‘A'. So much of psychedelic use and its modalities have been forced underground, trivialized, stereotyped, or you have to travel far distances to participate legally in a plant medicine ceremony making it a pipe dream for most. They are not to be taken lightly and their potential to evolve our consciousness is vast. I have to admit I was fortunate to come into the care of a great organization that guided me through this process and gives me now the knowledge, courage, and open mind needed to help humanity realize the great benefits of the evolution of consciousness that must take place if we are to survive as a species.