garden of the mind

The garden of the mind needs to be cultivated. We are given the opportunity to freely allow all ideas, concepts, feelings, and the like into the mind and some resonate with us more strongly than others. It is indeed our karmic predicament. In that regard, it is healthy to expose oneself to as many disparate ideas as possible. Free will is given to us so that we may work out what we ultimately came into this incarnation to discover. Whether that is a psychic disturbance or a need to fill this vessel up with love so be it and henceforth follow that path wherever it may take us. Within this garden, we can water and nourish what we choose. Ultimately, what flowers is character and the beauty of it is representative of what you have chosen.

My mind contains my core beliefs and the past few weeks have been a good reminder of beliefs. Belief is the flexible backbone upon which truth rests. Change your mind, change your beliefs, and you can change the truth. On a global scale, the tipping point is getting enough worldwide currency in a belief which will bring it to life. This transforms the belief from a solitary and deluded individual belief into a consensus belief. Case in point: religion. I keep seeing people gravitating towards Christianity and in this time of a pandemic, people have resorted to prayer and appealing to a higher power. It works for them despite all efforts of reason. Why does it work? It has to do with belief. It’s the most powerful force of all and trumps truth, as truth is dependent upon beliefs. Not only that, but as I have written about, your dark side desperately wants to remain hidden and will do whatever it can to stay that way, even if it means acting as if they are god. The supreme actor within will play the part in order to steer you towards heading down the path of culturally sanctioned religion because it stops you cold. You go seeking answers and become dangerous, so your gaze is deflected. You may have a religious experience, vision, or epiphany. It works all the time! The trappings of culture are foolproof. I had one but I’m a hold out. It didn’t work. It was funny this morning because at the bus shelter was left some religious material on the bench. I have been told there are no coincidences and this was one of the contrived happenings; once again playing with the rational mind. I wonder if there is a turning point where instead of tricks and trying to scare me there will be just acceptance by my dark side that I know the game? I know the joker within and his twisted comedic skills. I felt this once again when I saw this Christian book waiting for me. He knows I’m not going to fall for it but puts it out there as a subtle reminder every once in a while. C’mon man you’ve met Jesus! You also had a dream about him where you were being forced to accept him into your life. The deep dark subconscious is exceptionally strong and I have peered into it and stood my ground. I’d like to think that eventually on the path there is reconciliation; I mean there has to be because the old paradigm is no longer in play. I sit out in the forest and the trees come alive and I see the face of my dark side. I’m not scared; only slightly amused.

 

The Great Spirit has a sense of humour. My strength was tested along this journey and at first, I was massively frightened and chased away, all the way back home to a sense of bewilderment. It was a catastrophic foray into the darkness of self. Perseverance, curiosity, resolve, and courage, all mixed in with a little naivety and stupidity allowed me to continue on in this quest. In a strange way, I was rewarded and let in on the secret. My relationship with my dark side is now one of being trolled. I’m chided for my foibles. I’m tested and shown I’m not at expert level. I have actual proof now I have been trolled by my subconscious. I can’t really go into details but it happened. This trolling is ever present in dreams. Now I look back on it and this has happened many times before. It’s not malicious; instead it is like a game. That is the power I need a face to face with. This connection with hidden realms of consciousness goes even further than the masculine shadow that trolls me. My feminine soul mate accompanies me as well. I remember all too well being in the Andes mountains in Ecuador, high on Huachuma, and having her manifestation as a cow, an ancient representation of the Goddess, being with me the whole time. The wisdom goddess has been with me from the beginning. She has promised protection and she has offered answers. The answers come in the same way as the trolling with the difference being knowledge reveals as opposed to games of one-upmanship. My forays into alterations of consciousness are first and foremost encounters with the feminine Goddess or the masculine shadow. The masculine side I sometimes encounter and who trolls me, is me. The me I try to bury but have come to know well now over the last few years. He’s one up on my conscious self. Who is in the driver’s seat? I drive sometimes but I’m a passenger when it comes to the big stuff. It sure seems the feminine and masculine powers can manipulate events towards an outcome or try and influence my behaviour. Ultimately, I have found I decide. There's an old saying about how the devil made me do it. The suggestion came through the subconscious and the trappings of culture however what needs to be understood is you did it.

 

What keeps me going and attracted to the incarnation? Why do this coming and going in spite of all the suffering? It’s the adventure and solving the riddle I created. There’s this great mystery and puzzle that was waiting for me. Who is god? Let me embark on an inexplicable and unintelligible aside here. When I first peered into the darkness I was presented with this strange scene of weirdness and despair. My mind’s eye still cannot fathom it to this day and it has been over seven years. I’ve glimpsed hints of it but it has remained obfuscated from my memory for the most part. What big thing I remember though is a deck of cards that formed images in the upper part of this construct. I saw rotating images of hearts, diamonds, clubs, and spades. There are 52 cards in the deck. I’m 52 years old now and I’m the joker. I’m the one who created the game. The puzzle took 52 years to figure out this time. It was a sublime adventure. I’ve solved the riddle. Fait accompli.

 

I beat the game. Now what? I still have my garden; the garden of the mind. I’m going to cultivate that and the fruits I will share and my flower will become radiant in its beauty.