why?

Why do we incarnate? My perception due to lived experience is we desire it. We are attracted by the bright lights and adventure of the carnival that beckons to us and we keep falling for it. I can only speculate why but based upon experience I’d say it is because we haven’t mastered desire and therefore we keep falling for the same tricks to get us to continue to inhabit a meat body and help spin the collective hamster wheel. It fits in with what I think the purpose of life is. I don’t think there is a purpose however if you wish to transcend this ceaseless coming and going then you have to master the pull of desire that keeps sucking you in. Adventure seems like a good idea at the time until the suffering commences. And the fears. All that stuff, with no way out of the trap, so some try and make the best of it. We have to eat others to survive. Loved ones die and leave us to face the world alone. Desire brought us here and desire motivates us to continue onwards. We seek power in order to maximize control over our situation and fulfill desires. That’s why we do it.

Examining all of this, it becomes clear the way out is to master desire. I’ve tried the go to methods of bypassing desire or even welcoming it to try and figure it out. I couldn’t transcend it that’s for sure. Thoughts of power and being able to control outcomes leads to trying to accumulate wealth. Vegetarianism doubled down on my hypocrisy and made me weak. Bouts of asceticism only delayed the inevitable biological return. One thing I learned from these situations is how strong my mind is and how I have a lot of inner fortitude however I learned desire will always return once you open the door a crack. And it just gets worse. I embraced desire and tried to make a truce to control it. It just demanded more. All I was left with was frustration. How can I complete the spiritual climb with this hanging over me?

The most rewarding thing about this journey I have been on for over a decade is I do get answers. In this case, it took a long time right up to the point I exhausted all avenues of exploration and faced ignominious defeat. I finally got it one night and broke the spell. Desires are spells; they are hypnotic and at times irrational. I think a rational look at them probably reveals that to the casual observer but until you get under one of its spells, understanding is evasive. We do call them addictions which is a modern way of describing something the ancients relegated to the realm of magic. What do you think love magic is? It’s to get someone to become enchanted by another. In other words, addicted to them with the result the other can play them like the proverbial fiddle. The way I learned to get out of these traps is through mastery. Our base desires we will never transcend but instead of being the weak puppet you become the strong master. Desire preys on the weak, so cultivate strength. Recognize we easily are enchanted and welcome desire because of the initial hit of pleasure it brings.

To break free of the hold desire has on you is to snap out of the hypnosis. In my experience, the Tantrics have the answer and it was confirmed in an Ayahuasca ceremony. It’s to go straight into it. Put the pedal to the metal and go as fast as you can until you crash. It’s very risky as who knows what the immediate outcome of the crash is? So, here I sat in a ceremony and my vision was one of driving up a mountain at high speed past yellow lights, red lights, cop cars, and roadblocks but no matter I just kept accelerating. My initial take away suggested I was out of control and hell-bent upon my own destruction. There was truth to that and so that was my take away as a warning to slow down. Mother Ayahuasca however knew full well she was pointing out something I already knew but was helpless to stop. I’d already tried all the methods as described above. The real meaning of the vision as I understand it now was to accelerate, go for it headlong, and crash. That’s what I did. The full-stop crash broke the spell life and the darkness had over me and I was bestowed with great clarity therefore I saw how stupid and nonsensical all my addictions were. I regained control and a sense of liberation washed over me. I felt and tasted freedom. I was free to act on my accord and not the influence of other actors.

Desire is why we do it. It’s why we enable the ceaseless coming and goings. Ultimately, desire is the master tool of the master teacher. In order to be free, you too must become the master. Desire is what makes the world go around but it doesn’t need to spin you around like a top and take you along for the ride. Desire is power, a lot of it. Is power ultimately a bad thing? I mean it has allowed me to take control of my inner life and wrestle it away from the demons within. Ultimately, control falls from one hand to another. I would think at some point after everything falls away, control is to be ceded as well.

Self-mastery puts you on the doorstep to gobs of power. Being free from desires gives you the key to the source of their influence. The question is what will you do with this knowledge and acquisition of power? Do you continue the game, turn the tables, and use it to get what you want, thus putting you back into the clutches of the desire demons and the game? Power becomes a high brow game, elevated from the common desire one you were playing. The answer is simple if you have to ask. Let it be. If you don’t have to ask or grab it, it’s already yours. The power of no power.

What is hidden behind the pursuit of power is the ultimate quest to be free. The maximum power you can obtain is realized through giving it all away and becoming impervious to the chase and attainment of power. Eventually understood is power ends up controlling you and once you see the secret of the game is to be free, well, then you naturally decline the trappings of power because it will suck you right back into where you started on this quest to be free.