Without the pandemic, I would have gone on collecting experience and attempting a reconciliation during ceremony with the darkness within. Who knows where this would have led? I can speculate after frustration it would have led me towards the much-maligned visionary plant that is called toé in the Amazon. I am familiar with this sacred plant from my first foray into the world of plant medicines which has progressed from being scared of the plant to becoming curious due to understanding where the magic leads. The spirit of toé is prevalent the world over and maintains a connection within the roots of all the interconnected species. I say that experientially; when I returned home from the Amazon the first time, I was running scared and I remember walking past a bush of brugmansias in the dead of night and hearing this whistling in my direction. I know it sounds insane but it happened! Toé is an accelerant into the deep darkness and madness of self; ultimately leading towards a reconciliation with the god within. I reconciled with my darkness within through intensive integration forced upon me by this pandemic, helped by Mapacho tobacco; tobacco being the grandfather of the nightshade plants. The intended path forward to fully understand my darkness with more plant medicine ceremonies was instead all revealed and reconciled simply through integration. I had all the answers and just needed to add them up to enact understanding. The pandemic forced these insights upon me and made me alter my plans and the route forward on this magnificent journey.
My journey and intentions coalesced into understanding and brought me to the next crossroad. I have all the answers I seek and I am forever grateful. I did not see a path forward with the main plants I had been in communion with as they had taught me all I need to know. I feel a responsibility to close my relationship with them for now but I know I have to take my leave. At the same time, I was given the answer to the darkness within and I realized my path forward because it was through tobacco I was able to integrate all my lessons. It was because of tobacco that I received strength, protection, power, and the ability to calm the mind and add up all my experiences. Staring me in the face was my destiny; a destiny revealed in 2016 during a Vilca ceremony. I am to heal through the use of tobacco.
How utterly preposterous! No wonder the plants teach you to break free from culture. The first stop is liberation and it is gained by dropping the stories of self and telling the truth. Without these twin pillars of experience, you are destined to remain a puppet of your tribe. You must set yourself free with the tools given to you. Once free, what was once preposterous becomes truth. Tobacco is a magical plant. Tobacco is a dangerous plant. Tobacco demands respect. Tobacco is humanity’s greatest ally.
My nightly ritual involves giving thanks. I embarked upon this spiritual journey of awakening fourteen years ago and everything I asked for I have received while all the time reminding myself to continuously give back and honour the grace I have received.
I don’t think I’m alone in being impatient. What I mean is when I have asked for boons from the plants there is a part of me that thinks the reward should be immediate. In the ensuing weeks the disappointment sets in. I asked for the secrets of the universe to be revealed to me. Why didn’t Mother Ayahuasca come within ceremony and show me how it all works? Isn’t this what is supposed to happen? I asked her to show me and expected results that night.
I haven’t been greedy and maybe I should have asked for more; I mean it’s all available so I could have. The Goddess told me when I first directly met her in an Ayahuasca ceremony that I could ask her anything and she’d give me the answer. I kept my asks from the plants pretty light. I wanted to understand how the universe works. I wanted to know my destiny. And from a curious standpoint, I wanted to decode the Book of Revelation as it was something that fascinated me in my teens. I’m at the point now where I have received all the answers and was guided by the plants along my path of awakening. You have to put in the work and the work is rewarded. My own personal hero’s journey was a necessity if I wished to understand how the universe works and my destiny. In conjunction with self-knowledge is dropping the narrative you tell about yourself and live in truth. It all intrinsically ties together and without self-knowledge you cannot fathom the understanding of the nature of the universe. In other words, all unfolded as it should and the answers I sought were revealed in time.
This blog space is a testament to what I have received from the plants and the eternal spirits I have encountered. Everything I have asked for has been delivered to my door. I have in turn kept my end of the bargain. The promises I made in reciprocity I have fulfilled or am in the process of fulfilling. I made a promise to be of service to the great Mother and to be of service to the plants. The call is strong within and the fulfillment is coming. I couldn’t sidestep this calling even if I wanted to. The strong current of the river of life pulls me along towards my destiny.
My journey of self-knowledge has been fulfilled. I know it will continue on and I’ll never know everything until I return to the vibration of omnipotence however I see now what happens to one who embarks upon an intimate relationship with the plants. There’s an upcoming fork in the road and ultimately the choice is to give the plants up while appreciating and integrating their lessons into your daily life or to be unconditionally of service to them. Alternatively, you could stall out, turn back, and continue unconsciously with them, perhaps being enchanted with ceremony or wowed with fireworks, in essence, taking a conscious path and turning it into the time-honoured path of trivial visionary thrills. Anyway, I have learned so much through this pandemic that has forced me into integrating and reconciling all my plant medicine experiences that I could take these lessons and live a fulfilling life, leading by being a shining example for someone who has levelled up their consciousness. To continue on the plant medicine path is to become of service. I don’t see any other way once you reach this crossroad.
I don’t have the option to choose my path. The calling is loud to continue along the path of service. It’s the only way I see forward and this path obviously involves tobacco as what was revealed to me in a Vilca ceremony five years ago. So much has been subsequently revealed to me about the healing properties of tobacco and the fire burns within to learn all I can and bring the symbiosis back to humanity to reduce suffering. I know by way of past experience whatever I take up in earnest I am successful at and will eventually excel at and master. It’s my calling and I will honour the call.
In early 2020 in the northern highlands of Peru, I participated in a Huachuma ceremony that honoured Mother Earth, Pachamama. The ceremony was one of the finest experiences of my life. So moving and I felt her warm embrace and renewed my pledge to be of service to her. My way forward is to be of service to the Great Goddess. It’s my act of reconciliation and why I dreamt this world into existence, realized it through the form created by the feminine, and how I will ultimately demonstrate my love for her. I discovered my soul mate and Mother Earth she is. Through tobacco I will leave behind the morass of selfishness, be of service, and I will lessen the suffering in the world. That is the way forward. I’m not going to completely heal the world but I will make an impact through service and example and hopefully inspire others to do the same. Love is the lesson. Love is why I’m here.
No comments:
Post a Comment