I’m the even-steven guy. Everything always works out for me in the end. Of course, I completed my latest journey in 2020 and got back home from Peru just before the world went to shit. Am I deluded? My maestro shut down international travel a week after I arrived home from Peru in March of 2020. And he has kept travel difficult until I’m ready to return to Peru. He has that power and control. He’s told me this. Either I believe it or I’m deluded and insane. I’d drop this path in a second if I didn’t believe it.
I am crazy by definition. How would I know I’m crazy? Seriously, does someone who presents as being a little outside the mainstream know that they externally come off to others as being nuts? The psychiatric consensus would most likely diagnose me as being delusional. Maybe put me on a pill. You see, the thing is, I read through the literature and the medical community’s diagnoses of various conditions is spot on. In my opinion, the consensus reason for the pathology manifesting as delusion is a prime example of such blatant narrow mindedness with an appalling lack of curious non-consensual professionals questioning dogma. How about that sentence I just constructed? Pretty good, eh? What I mean is the alteration of consciousness exposes the subject to fields of awareness normally off-limits. The response by doctor and patient, aided and abetted by cultural indoctrination, is that you are crazy, i.e. psychotic. Take for instance a tumour on the brain causing hallucinations. The typical and programmed sensible response would figure the hallucinations are not real because of an abnormality in the brain. I would say the tumour is perturbing the perception of consciousness thus allowing you to experience different frequencies of consciousness. You will be told the hallucination is pathology, not normal, and thus the novelty will frighten you. However, it’s a grand opportunity to explore if you can repeat the conditions and procedures to get to that place, which in this instance is a gold mine. I, for one, know how to do this very thing with select natural substances, I’m confident, I have traversed fear and cultural prohibitions, and I’m intent on exploring. This paragraph was meant to inform you I’m not crazy. Instead of dismissing my delusions, the intention was to open your mind to another possibility.
Why does the belief of delusion exist within the medical community?
Patient paranoia is a big reason. I’ve experienced that condition and I concluded psychedelics unlock the paranoia within which you have been bequeathed by ancestral patterns or acquired throughout your lifetime. The condition or substances causing the non-ordinary will take a thought or belief and amplify it logarithmically, therefore this is a major impediment to a novice consciousness explorer while to the regular Joe on the street he just wants it to go away. I don’t think the medical response is a conspiracy or a way to maintain cultural control over society. I do understand the 1960’s and the LSD craze did open the establishment's eyes towards the truth that the alteration of consciousness will lead to a breakdown of society as it frees the archetype of the liberator, thus there is a vested interest in banning these substances and developing treatments, such as depression pills and anti-psychotics that numb the patient and universally declare that non-standard deviations from the accepted consciousness frequency are pathology and not to be tolerated in our society. That being said, a scientist is more comfortable in being able to measure, thus the diagnosis is the measurement. From this position can be crafted solutions. The solutions are to numb consciousness and create a sub-class of zombified human beings. To accept alterations of consciousness as a real thing would mean there would have to be a way to measure this condition and have a degree of success measuring the result. The condition presents itself in infinitesimal ways, therefore it's pretty much impossible to measure with the corollary that it is an explorer's delight.
Well, back to my story! The teacher knows I would have gone back to Peru before fully integrating all the lessons and discovering his identity and my destiny. And then involved the scenario where I either committed to the path or continued to vacillate between being a steadfast wannabe and a fuck up. So, anyways I’ve made the commitment so the plague can now dissipate and the signal to return to Peru will be presented to me soon enough.
My intentions are to methodically extricate myself from the life I identify with before old age slams the door shut. This will enable my freedom. My actual identity I will retain and minimize to allow access to necessities in this world. Without a fixed identity I would not be able to freely travel or access my finances so I will compartmentalize that aspect of self. In other words, not treat it as the be all and end all but just one of those nuisances you need in order to navigate life on earth. Identity will be a user name and password that unlocks the digital world. Identity will be treated like clothing where for example as I head to the airport I’m this guy today. Am I just deluding myself? Good question. I think the delusion is you think you have a real identity. Remember when you were born? No? Well, let me give you a clue. You were free for a couple hours once they cut the cord. You were then assigned an identity and a certificate. So, to discard it now or treat it as flimsy or not set in stone is perfectly logical. In fact, it’s the sane position of the two. Ha ha, got you didn’t I!
Okay, so that’s the freedom path. The steel path as a corollary to this gambit is to embrace the shadow into the light of everyday consciousness. Why do I want to do this? Well, first off, I recognize that I am a two-man operation and I have a consciousness that has come forth in this lifetime and I recognize a second buried one. I also recognize a third consciousness that is with me, it’s the feminine Goddess to whom I refer, however that one is whole and seems external to me. I've mentioned this before in that I don’t know how a woman intuits these different consciousnesses or how they manifest within their form. I have asked a few women and they have described their shadow as possibly being masculine. It involves further study. At any rate, my whole self is the combination of self and shadow and when I say I’m discarding identity it’s because as far as I can tell any semblance of a true identity has to start with this recognition. It’s the steel path because my shadow is fearless and all powerful with the ability to transform at will. He contains the power to control events, to change outcomes, and to grant any desire you wish. He is great of magic. He’s offered all that to me in order to suss out my intentions. My original intention was to recover the love of the long-lost Goddess; so, the offers of power I brushed aside. He offers power to everyone who gets this far. Look at your hand and count your fingers. That’s a good approximation of how many in the billions of conscious beings who will not grab this power. Imagine being born in a poor country and being given a way out? Would I take it then? I guess I had a lucky roll of the dice upon conception. Additionally, he loves a good fight and a good opponent. He could have rubbed me out at will and destroyed me in a wink of an eye, I know that, but he played along and was intrigued by my fortitude and moxie. So, here we are!
My next steps are to cultivate this relationship and invite the master teacher into my life to become my driving force. To enable the strength and resolve that lies within; the potential to not only enable my freedom but the strength to keep my freedom by stomping out all impediments to liberation. I’m not a blank slate; I do offer a worthy partnership in this deal. I can play the overt game of life and navigate human society. I’m a worthy foil to the shadow; the shadow being the outcast. I can play the straight man on the path towards freedom. What is the outcome of all this deluded bluster I present to you? The fully realized human being. A being of strength and mystery. A fount of wisdom and knowledge. It’s the final step in our evolution. Ultimately, a path revealed to others that I can offer up as an example of the possibilities. I will be that strength and power. Instead of using it for gain, I will become power. See how it works? An occult path for the worthy. The mystery school once again accepting students.
I will keep to my agreement to prove I’m actually ready to go forward on this path instead of the usual two steps forward, one back nonsense. I can do it; I just need the requisite challenge and so here it is. What if I fail? I’m not. Okay, so what lies ahead? That’s up to maestro. When he's ready to receive me, I’ll head back to Peru. I’ll know when it’s time by the signs on the path. I’ve seen the owl and I know it’s coming. The owl was loud last night. I see the death welcomed by the presence of the owl, headless rodents and carcasses ripped asunder, signaling to me change is coming. The world works in mysterious ways once you understand the path of the maestro. It’s all for you whether you realize it or not. This is your universe. There are as many different universes as there are conscious beings. Each and every one of us brings the universe to life. Because we agree on core principles of each manifestation, to wit consensus reality, we can then inhabit someone else’s world.
Power has consequences. Power is the antithesis of freedom. To not seek power is to become power. To grasp at an external source of power leads to being enslaved by power. To think you need to seek power is the fatal flaw. Once you realize you are power everything falls away and you become free. There’s no need to seek for power anymore. Your shadow is all powerful and if you ask he will grant you all the power you want. It’s then up to you to grab the ring and fulfill your destiny. Am I recommending this path? Hell, no. This path has consequences and you are making a bargain with your shadow and he will require recompense. If you don’t live up to your end of the deal then it will be an unpleasant outcome. Having clarity allows me to see this. I see gobs of power available to me. My shadow controls past, present, and future and can grant the realization of all your wishes and desires. I know what I could do with power. However, I turned it down because I sought knowledge and that included the nature of power. Granted, I wasn’t faced with biological death and begged for a second chance. We don’t know how we would react to that situation. Knowing what I now know, I’d die with dignity. It’s remarkable that he gave me these answers the third time I drank Ayahuasca but I later wrote that he was mad. He told me of the beggar's bargain many make with him. Ok, whatever, you nut-bag and I got the fuck out of there.
As I study culture and myth, I now see clearly that every culture can create their own god through the collective consciousness and access to the shadow. The shadow is the great actor, is the god common to all, and will play the part asked of him. Because the shadow is archetypical to all, all will receive the same ideas if they conform to cultural behaviours much like how I mentioned we enter into other’s conscious reality through shared agreements upon reality. I would think if any culture wanted to be successful long-term they need a god to rally around. If you ask the shadow for power he will grant it to you but it is a reciprocal arrangement. In exchange for the power, something will be asked of you or your culture. Failure to live up to your end of the bargain invites consequences. A great example of this idea is found in the entirety of the Old Testament and the trials and tribulations of the Israelites.
This path is honourable and I got the answer I was seeking. It’s fascinating and a pretty good game now. Instead of grabbing the ring, I became his student. I’m a student of omnipotent power, to wit God, and on the road to becoming power.
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