When you are born, you are tied to the mother through the umbilical cord. Once the cord is cut, you are free in this world. Immediately, you are measured and named. Identity takes away momentary freedom.
We spend our lives searching, not knowing what we are searching for. Here's a clue: A return to the freedom glimpsed in the chaos of birth. Where will that freedom lead us to? Simple. Back to the mother. Back to our heart.
Walking the path of the heart involves recognizing our polar extremes and how we bring the world to life through the opposites. Objectification of the other allows for duality which creates the many. Celebrating diversity and bringing all back to one imbued by love is the eternal game of the universe. It is the reason why we are here and why we created the universe. We find our greatest bliss when we let go of differences and come together. We find the greatest suffering when we are apart and treat all as the other.
The path back home leads to the heart.
I know the next course in my spiritual education has started. I was in the woods yesterday and my dog started barking. I couldn’t see anything, so I walked a bit through the clearing. I saw in the distance a woman sitting on a log. I thought I recognized her and wondered where her dog was? I navigated through the brush into the clearing and walked towards her at the place I like to call “Witch’s Cove”, named after a couple of women who held ceremony at the place back in 2015 in which they lit a fire and burned their bras and panties. I’ve kept the area up as a shrine of sorts to the Great Goddess; always being respectful of the place. I burn incense and make tobacco offerings. The woman I had seen in the distance had vanished. I wondered if it was a mirage. I remembered back to when I saw the dancing light in the winter of 2016 that came from this same area. What I’m trying to explain is there’s magic in this area of the forest and the Goddess has let me know she is teaching this semester.
This ties in with the new lesson plan which has begun because the path of the heart is the Goddess' intensive teachings. My heart is my mother, and she is welcoming me to walk the path of the heart. My heart has physically hurt over the past few days. I know something’s up. The classroom of life keeps getting more difficult and I know in a way this doesn’t make sense. Loving all should be easy and instead it’s the most difficult thing to do. I know, I’ve tried, and for some reason it is the hardest thing to put into practice. So far in this curriculum of awakening I’ve faced great fear. I have shown courage, bravery, perseverance, and fortitude. I’ve understood the lessons. I’ve explored my darkness. I’ve stopped objectifying my capacity for evil as the other while embracing only my higher self. I’ve gone into the mystery and have been bequeathed all the answers I desired. I know the last path to walk is the path of the heart and to take my polar extremes and reconcile all into the centre, into the heart space as defined by the symbol of the axis mundi.
I can put two and two together when given some time. I was listening to a Ram Dass lecture where he was discussing something profound which I had heard before but did not understand what he was talking about. He was relating a story where the Buddhist teacher Trungpa Rinpoche had told him he must take responsibility for his incarnation. Ram Dass protested and said it’s all God’s will. Well, who’s God? Anyway, Ram Dass went on in the lecture to explain two ways of looking at your incarnation. Basically, life can happen to you, or life can happen for you. When you play it small in the game of personality and ego you go through life reacting to the gains and misfortune that come your way, trying to construct a worthy character to be successful in the game of life. The other way of looking at life is to realize your essence, whether you want to call it soul or whatever you choose, has created the world and the curriculum you now find yourself navigating. Everything is happening for you in order to wake you up and get you to follow the path of the heart because this is what you wanted. You are the eternal and exquisite divine being made of love and light. All the suffering in this world is because you made it this way. The suffering is from the depths of a love so deep enacted to forge transformation in the fires of this hell. Suffering is the greatest tool for awakening and transformation that we have.
“Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You are not going in the right direction unless there is something pricking you in the side, telling you, “Look here! This way!” That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up; it will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen. What else can it do? That is its purpose.”
― A.H. Almaas
I’ve realized over the last year that I hold the power in my hands and can manifest a world of my desire and choosing. If I wanted it all and to fulfill all my carnal desires, I can do it. I’ve tempted myself and let it slide. I know why I have dreamt this universe into existence and it’s not to fulfill a desire for power. I have the cheat codes to life. If I wanted, I could rig the game. It’s not what I want. I want free will and to walk through the fires of transformation so that when faced with vast suffering I choose love and walk the path of the heart back home.
This world is Hell. It's a collective accomplishment where we as a species can make it Heaven or Hell and we choose Hell. When you die, you don’t go to Hell, you leave Hell. Nobody sees this; well, at least not in my privileged part of the world. The pain and suffering in the world are immense. The temptations and suffering caused by the chasing of desire and power creates the hellscape where we don’t share with our sisters and brothers. In order to have more and get our fill someone else gets less.
I’m the magician who created the universe. I bring this all to life. I destroy it all. I take the rewards of my game and live out my fantasies knowing full well this a zero-sum game and if I prosper someone else is suffering. If one of my avatars takes it all then there is mass suffering.
I will never know all the answers. I'm a knowledge junkie and a great deal of the impetus behind my spiritual path has been an intense desire to know. I wanted to figure it all out. Some of us are content with the puzzles and games we have on earth, which satisfy the intellectual pursuits and curiosities which get my type out of bed in the morning. I have realized this design is the way it has to be. In other words, the absolute truth and confirmation of this existence must remain a mystery that is open to speculation. My speculation can come close to touching and solving the mystery. The universe may smile back at me but then there is a wink reminding me of the agreement that says you'll never know just like you don't know what's beyond the veil until you drop the body that restrains you from finding out in this lifetime. There are certain chemicals that when ingested may give you a peek; however, the understanding of what you experience and how you want to spin it is totally up to you.
The Goddess knew of my heart and desire to walk the path from the start and encouraged me to follow my path of awakening. She knew I would try and destroy myself before figuring out the mystery. Well, here I am. I walked the path and discovered all I was seeking. I started exploring the psychological darkness within and flipped my understanding of who I am.
The great maestro don Howard was fond of saying, "You don't find Heaven, you realize it." The path of the heart will lead you home back to the primordial Garden of Eden. Heaven. Home is where the heart is and it is a magical place which is realized, not a physical journey. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, all you must do is click your heels three times in earnest and you will return.
There's no place like home.
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