go back to sleep

Some people aren't ready to awaken. They wake up. They see it. They get scared and want to go back to sleep. They get angry with the direct influence on their awakening. The one with the nodoze pills becomes the bad guy. They get scared of them. This person is the bad one. They can't go back to sleep. They get angry. They run. It helps for a bit, but the gnawing pain returns. They remain sick in a toxic society.

I learned that when you wake someone up and they have unfulfilled longings, the backlash can be severe. A pilgrim on the path can be totally invested in waking up until the reverse pull of the sandman gets to them. Once they go back to a light slumber, the resulting animosity can be swift and harsh. It's like a complete 180 degree turn on a dime is enacted and huge amounts of vile is tossed your way. I searched for an answer to why and came up with a bunch of plausible scenarios. I kept searching and I asked the Goddess for knowledge. She filled my cup, and I ran through it all. The sandman puts you to sleep but who is it that wakes you up? The Greek Eleusinian Mysteries of Demeter and Persephone point you in a solid direction. The Dionysian Mysteries gives you more clues. Dionysos wakes you to the drama and what a play it is! The Mysteries liberate you from society and cultural restraints. You were called to return to nature and the essence of your being. The corollary to this is exiting the life you have led up until now. It means leaving behind family and friends. Why should I trust Dionysos?

When you start the process of awakening it is scary and you want to run. It's understandable. I ran. The guardian at my gate was a scary motherfucker who told me to get lost. He threatened me with death if I returned. The stakes are high, and I had to be sure I wanted this. I returned to face him two years later and took my beating. I'm a warrior now. The problem is you started to wake up. You shouldn't have done it because when you try to abort the process, it will just get worse. You'll be left a confused mess. Everyone needs a wise figure at the gates who will inform you of the outcome. We don't have that in our society but ideally, they would counsel you against walking the path towards awakening. Turn back, go home, and live out your life. Once you roll over in your sleep and get up for a bit, you are not going back to sleep. You're fucked.

Imagine you can then externally place the blame on someone else? You don't have to take responsibility for the mess, instead point the finger at someone who whispered in your ear that there is another way. The anger and vitriol will get you temporarily through some of the challenges you face. The worst part is the gnawing feeling from within will never go away. There will always be something pointing you towards the path of awakening and it will rise at the most inopportune times in the most innocuous of situations.

What is the path of service? An effective use of your time is helping others awaken. This runs the risk of getting you beaten down. Now we're talking! For most of us, the path of service is a feel-good endeavour. We help others and see the positive changes in their lives. We did good and it's something to be proud of. What if your path of service is to rouse people from their slumber? They want it but aren't prepared for what's to come. The shit hits the fan, and they hate you. You help others and your reward is crucifixion. The lesson within the New Testament is startling. Jesus Christ is the preeminent agent of change, waking up untold multitudes. Jesus was straightforward about the tumult to come in your life. He told his followers they must be prepared to give up everything.

Luke 14 (New International Version):

25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:

26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.

27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Of course, his message has been perverted and today's church isn't waking anyone up; rather it has just become another institute of societal control, but I digress. Jesus became so successful at waking people up, he had to go. He was mocked and scorned. He was nailed to a cross and left to die. The lesson is we as a society don't want to wake people up, so if that's your path of service, it's not going to be a fun ride.

I'm just a human doing this work. I'll always be here to help you. It's what I do. I can wait.