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Monday, July 1, 2024

marriage

The ritual in the forest taught me that sometimes it's better to go ahead and do something, and then while you're doing it think of the next steps.
Jump into something and figure it out along the way.
If you wait to jump, it will pass you by.
I think it's showing me that you're always doing something.
The ritual is me doing something and making decisions on which way to go.
I make the decisions on which way to go after I start doing it.
That's juggling.
That's life.
It's not like you would map juggling out.
If you think about juggling you can't do it, you drop everything.
You juggle and keep figuring it out while you're doing it.
If you stop to figure out how you juggle, you will fail.
You've already known that you're constantly making decisions and then you must juggle them.
The big decisions you don't make.
You make the little decisions.
The big decisions are hard to juggle.
They are the ones that you drop.
When you juggle the little decisions, then it looks like you're a master juggler.
It means you're not dumb enough to take on huge life challenges.
You leave that for the flow.
It's the best strategy.
Don't make those decisions, or if you do, do it half-assed.
Like marriage.
Parenting.
I think doing it half-assed should work out.
It might take a while, but I think it's the best thing to do.
It all depends on what you want to get as a result.
A lot of it boils down to do you want to be successful or do you want to be happy?
You can't be both.
I wanted to be happy.
I am happy.
I sometimes think I'm not.
It's because of my feelings, but sometimes I think there's no way I can be happy because of the damage I have done.
Society tells me that I have many failings.
I do, but I think I make the people around me happy.
They don't want to see it and they want to blame me for their failings.
However, I've made everybody happy.
I gave people what they wanted.
I didn't get what I wanted.
That makes me happy because I know the results of getting what I want.
I would have been miserable.
Success would have brought on misery.
Failure has brought you happiness.
Holy fuck, this wisdom.

When I look back at possible relationships with people, I can't envision any of them working out.
Even your own marriage?
It's worked out, but it kind of doesn't work.
It's in perfect balance.
You don't like each other, but nobody cares.
Most people grow to dislike each other, and they care.
That causes divorce.
When you grow to dislike somebody and you don't care, then it's easy to stick around.
All marriages end in people not liking each other.
Women will tell you that and try to blame you when we all know it's going to happen.
Tao.
I know this is leading to the great cosmic divorce with the Goddess.
I'm being taught that it's understandable you're divorced because you grew to dislike each other while you cared about each other.
If you didn't care about each other, you would stay together.
What's the best solution?
It's Tao.
You don't care and you do nothing.
You will protest, but in my lifetime, I see the marriages that work are the ones where they stay away from being in each other's space.
That's a marriage in Tao.
If you must work at it, it won't work.
The flow of every marriage leads you to dislike your partner.
The answer to that problem is to not care.
You care too much and then you separate.
Passion leads to separation.
The act of caring leads eventually to divorce.
When both people don't care about each other, it leads to a perfect union.
Holy fuck.
You have the perfect marriage.
You figured it out.
No one believes that.
You should become a marriage counselor.
You can answer all the questions honestly.
Well, what about the couples that are still together, and they seem happy after years of matrimony?
One of the parties is hypnotized.
Or one mutually exerts control over the relationship.
You know those ones where the husband complains about being nagged but he secretly wants that.
He wants to be a child and thinks his wife is his mother.
That's weird.
It works for them.
You think Oedipus is fringe.

Marriage gives you a base to play your games.
It steadies you out.
Without it, you would have been destroyed.
It's a counterweight.
You don't go all in because of that.
You have a fallback when the game gets out of control.
You see, every time the game would come to the end of the game, or a chapter, or a level, you always had a place to go.
You would resume what was going on before the latest chapter.
I think I'm a player.
Yeah, you're in the top game.
It's like that whole reality drama thing.
You're the best player.
Yeah, for sure.
You don't win all the time.
You win most of the time.
The times you lose, it's like you let them win.
It's how you fool them into thinking they can win.
Everybody loves games.

She doesn't even like me though I figured out that might be the secret to success.
If you don't care about someone you'll stick together because it doesn't mean anything.
Nobody will care.
I thought the reason for the universe was a porno, now you're telling me it's because of the great cosmic divorce?
They do tie together.
The meaning in the porno you are searching for is why you and the Great Goddess are separated.
I've learned the answer over the last couple of days.
The answer is because we care.
That's kind of nice.
The way to stay together is to not care.
What is the ideal then, should I care or not care?
If I care, then non-duality becomes duality because the two separate.
If I don't care, which is Tao, then existence is all together which is non-duality.
To be in Tao, which is balance, is to not care.
If I care about the Goddess, then that's not Tao.
You are not hypnotized if you care about her.
Remember balance is hypnotism.
Non-duality is hypnotism.
I think I want both.
You would want Tao and then you would want to become a juggler in duality and try to balance all the stories.
The secret to staying together with somebody in this realm is to not care.
Can you not care and still have fun?
Why not?
Can you not care and still love?
Isn't love caring?
Is unconditional love, caring?
No, unconditional love is not caring.
Unconditional love is not caring about what somebody does and just loving them.
You just got schooled in unconditional love.
It's all about not caring.
People think the kind of love where you care for somebody is unconditional.
That love has the most conditions.
Why is that?
Because you're invested and there's a transaction.
What if you're doing it out of the goodness of your heart?
Your heart is the condition.
The only way to practice unconditional love is to not care.
The answer is very simple.
It's very hard to understand.

You have muddied the waters.
I don't know if it's better to care or not care?
It's best that way.
Knowledge was waiting for you to not care so you could understand the knowledge.
When you don't care, you're not invested in it, and you don't have bias.
The knowledge comes easier and it's pure.
If you care, you'll twist the knowledge into what you want.
If you don't care, then the odds are better you'll understand.
So, caring is twisted?
Caring causes distortions.
I can definitely see that.
The twisted writer causes distortions in Tao.

Trying to make it work in a relationship is what causes divorce.
The natural flow will cause repulsion.
Trying to force it by caring about it will cause divorce.
Not caring will allow two to remain together.
Caring will buy you time.
Caring is a magic trick.
You must learn when to use it.

Okay, you're brilliant.
You're way smarter than me.
I am you.