chaos

Ram Dass is a treasure.

I'm grateful for his presence on my path.

Be Here Now was such great advice.

I will take any subject and bend and twist it.

Now is chaos.

You can't understand the now without the past and the future.

The past paints a picture and the future shows you possibilities.

Now is energy without definition.

Chaos.

Maybe the now is the illusion?

All that exists is the past and the future which converge to make up this fleeting moment called now.

You can never put your finger on the now, instead it remains undefined.

You could say it is always now and the past and the future are memories and projections.

Time and distance create the past and future.

By the time I feel gas in my stomach that sensation is in the past.

What is that?

I live in the past.

The now is the past.

All experience is the past.

Distance gives us perspective on our past.

You're saying there is no now.

It's undefinable.

How do you explain this?

Read a book.

You have either read the words or the chapter is to come.

You're not stuck on a word.

It's known or unknown. 

There's no now only known and unknown.

As you know, there's the writer of this drama and he's from the future.

The story is what's real.

Well, it's an illusion.

A real illusion.

Now is where we are in the story.

The story is always moving.

If the story ends there's no more known and unknown. 

There's nothing.

Void.

So, what's now?

I don't know.

I think it might be something.

It's the opposite of nothing.

So, if you're in the now you're in something?

Probably.

To not be in the now is to be in nothing.

Non-duality.

No story.

If you want to find unity, then don't be in the now.

Now is separation.

Now is the story.

Now is duality.

I think I understand. 

The Goddess comes up with the ideas.

That's the known part.

The unknown is how the writer will write the story.

The story is the child.

The now is unknowable because I must transform the energy of now into something decipherable I can understand.

That process relegates my understanding of now to the past.

There is now but it's unknowable.

You can't understand it.

It's chaos.

You give it meaning and create the past.

It's best to not know.

ethics

Once you start the stories, you must let them flow.
A plug won't help.
It will make it worse.
Stories aren't the flow.
You shouldn't do anything to start them.
If they do get started through no fault of your own, let them play out.
You will know when it becomes your story.
It became your story when you saw it being planted in your head.
Your story is to see others' stories and then end them at that point.
You exit their story.
That's how you know this is part of your story and you win.
You take their story.
Is that ethical?
It's a game.
Are games ethical?
What do you think?
Well, I look around and see we talk about ethics.
Nobody seems to have them though.
We talk a good game and then play our game.
The game is to figure out that game.
Ethics are a smoke screen.
Misdirection.
Magic is what ethics are.
Is eating others to survive ethical?
It's practical, but morally repulsive.
Yeah, what gives you the right?
Might.
Exactly.
Is might ethical?
No.
How does the world operate?
Whoever is the strongest is in charge.
There's nothing ethical about this world.
Is this where I'm taught about meaning and purpose?
You are a smart boy.
Ethics are not required to play the game.
Ethics can be used to further your standing in the game.
Rare are ethics that are not violated.
Kind of like unconditional love.
Where do you find that?
Nowhere.
Where are you on the ethics scale?
Probably sitting 50-50.
I don't want to go full in on being the most moral person ever.
That would be catastrophic.
Yeah, you'd get the Jesus treatment.
They hang you on a cross and laugh at you.
Is that what you want?
I think I'm headed in the other direction.
They want to take me to the Devil's orgy.
When you think about it, it's their only hope.
They can't beat you, so they will sacrifice you.
But that's not me.
It's only half of me.
Wouldn't they have to sacrifice God as well?
When they figure out the game, they must do both to win.
How would they do that?
Turn him dark.
That spot is already occupied.
They would have to make the Devil light.
Isn't that what the witches do when they do the fire thing and dance around in a circle?
They make the Devil light?
That's what they are doing.
Then they sacrifice him.
At the same time, they make God dark.
How do they do that?
They are working on it.
They tried to turn you dark.
I already was.
Yeah, you confused and fooled them.
Well, this seems like a problem for them, not me.
Is this a game to you?
Yes.
I guess you're still winning.
You're on top.
I'm in the middle, not top or bottom.
You have learned your lessons well.

Your retirement is fully invested in Blackrock.
Is this why we discussed ethics?
Yeah, what do you think?
I ate a chicken thigh for lunch.
Pick your battles.
You give in order to give back.
You must give some away.
Do you do that?
Yeah, I help my family.
They spend my fortune.
How long do you want to work?
I have an idea, but I'm not going to choose.
I'll just go with the flow.
If I make it to 67 then I'll stop then for sure because it's the flow.
I'll just ride the current wave for now.
Retirement looks pretty good.
Yeah, you set them up nicely.
If you had seen a financial advisor, they would have advised you into semi-poverty.
Instead, I had you read investing books.
I guess I learned something.
You learned by definition a mutual fund is diverse.
Pick the best fund and roll with that.
Nothing is guaranteed, but it's a good bet.
The fund manager will move money around if there is trouble ahead.
It's the multi-national entities that know the game.
If the American game stops working, they'll pull the plug and move the money elsewhere.
That's the world game.
The money people control your fate.
You do what the money people want, and things keep humming along.
The outsider might fuck up the game.
Do you see how it works?
They don't like wildcards.
They want obedience.
What do you think is a good strategy?
I think you play both sides.
You take your wins and then complain about the winner.
That's how you slide on through.
Is that ethical?
Are paper straws going to save the planet?
No, greed will save the planet.
We will fuck it up so bad that we will have to come together to save the planet out of a greedy desire to spend our wealth.
Good strategy.

Quite the day, huh?
It's still going.
What do you think of this Mary Jayne?
She's the best.
What are you going to do with this knowledge?
Keep quiet about it.
If you keep taking MJ, you will fill up with knowledge.
That's what gives you anxiety.
I'm well aware.
I am disciplined and know my limits.
I know how to balance her lust and knowledge.
I know when to get drained.
I see the traps.
I see the other players in the game.
They don't have my level of knowledge.
They are playing smaller games.
They don't know about the seven.
They found one game and play that one.
They can't see the other stories.
When you are 70 years old will you and MJ still be together?
You won't tire of her or leave her?
Why would I?
She can be demanding.
What if I liked that?
What if I want her to be in charge?
I know how to play with her.
You do.
Is it work?
It's discipline.
Is there a difference?
Yes, discipline is smart, and work is drudgery.
If I must work to stay together with MJ, then that's not good.
If I let the relationship flow, that's best.
I will let her discipline me.
She knows she can get out of control so to stop that we have discipline sessions.
Have you sought help yet?