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Monday, December 9, 2024

ramblings

It's fascinating that this is all a dream.
Story.
That definition helps with comprehension.
It is an illusion.
So is a story.
Drama, play, or game.
All acts. 
Different ways to play.
Remember to play. 
You can treat life as a drama or a game.
Get it?
Yes.
What about when I'm awake?
You're the writer and taking in ideas.
You'd write that you still must subconsciously write in your story.
This spills out into consciousness.
I'm full of words and write down the spillage.
Word ejaculation.
Everything is derivative of a sexual metaphor.
Seems that way.

What if cannabis wasn't legal?
I'd have to find another method of awakening.
What other methods?
Plant medicine ceremonies.
The problem is it's a cycle of work once a year with those plant medicines. 
Mary Jayne is a daily dose.
It's a maintenance dose.
2.5 mg is.
That's what micro dosing is.
They want into the headspace without the crazy side effects.
I think there's an ego dissolution threshold which micro dosing won't get to.
They mistakenly think this will get them to where they want to go.
Some do it for advantage or creativity.
They want to tap into it.
The continued use of ego dissolving medicine will make you crazy.
It's by design of the medicine.
It's one of the tests to see if you can handle ego dissolution.
If you can't handle it, it's death, and you go.
That's a step too far into the abyss.
By abyss you can substitute labyrinth.

Going crazy is the key to changing your story.
You get to a point in the game where you need to change your story because you fucked up.
Right, so you go crazy and change it.
I thought you weren't supposed to change your story?
Technically, you didn't.
You did nothing, which is crazy, and so your story changed.
Yes.
You trust in doing nothing.
I changed my story with psychedelics.
Yes, by doing nothing.
You were offered it all, and you did nothing.
They are tests and by doing nothing, the teachers become allies.

How did psychedelics change my story?
They set you on the path to God which brought you here. 
They woke you up.
A knock on the head.
A calling.
It's an alarm.
The bells go off and finally you answer the call or shut off the alarm.
Some do and go back to sleep.
Or, they set up multiple alarms.
Mine goes off and I get up.
Especially with the dogs.
I was good at that.
You wake up and change your story.
Then you go back to sleep.
You ignored the calls, didn't do anything, and then waited until now to wake up.
I did it naturally.
Not rushed. 
So, another key is to wake up naturally.
Do you think you did that?
Yeah, it's taken a while.
It seems like a proper passage of time.
You could have woken up 11 years ago, but you took your time.
Waking up on your own time without an alarm is the flow.
You're awake, that's why no more big plant medicine ceremonies for you. 
Do you wake up twice?
If you are awake, can you wake up?
It would be another reality.

Why the resistance to changing habits?
Habits are in balance.
Go to bed and wake up at the same time.
Eat regularly.
All this routine puts you back to sleep.
Being awake is crazy then.
Sort of.
You must create an imbalance to awaken, however too much and you go crazy.
By creating a container which allows you to awaken daily, you have figured out the key to your desire to win the game and simultaneously keep it going.

What is the cause of misogyny?
What can trigger it?
Women who accuse men of harbouring this condition are looking for confirmation.
I think I was correct in asserting they have a resentment of men.
It's because men are in control of the world and women want this power.
This leads to their behaviour.
The accusations of misogyny sometimes come from a vacuum.
There needs to be more balance in how women are perceived.
I was naive most of my life and though I ran into women with questionable behaviour towards not only men but other women, I still pedestalize them.
I thought men were the problem for the most part.
I think there is equal blame.
It took me a long time to recognize women are a cause of misogyny.
Their behaviour could make you a misogynist.
It's destructive and nonsensical.
I was able to accept half the blame and carry on.

Things happen before I realize it.
That is the key to not writing the story but knowing about it.
You recognize the story after it happens.
Of course you do, you wrote it.
If you could write what is to happen then you'd know beforehand.
You'd be a fortune teller.
So, that's what they have?
They recognize the story before it happens.
You recognize it after it happens.
They can't change it.
You know the story because you're the writer.
Your other half knows the story.
I can't tell you.
I'm sworn to secrecy.
You can recognize it after it happens.
All you can do is guess based on what you'd write.
First, I'd write that I live to the ripe old age of 96 and make women the ones who give me the strength to go on living because they are always trying to kill me.
I must keep on my toes.
Finally, they got me at 96.
I'd had enough of that game by 96.
The audience loves that story.
It's possible then.
I was thinking about the witch sacrifice story where I'm still relatively young.
Like 69.
I twist that story at the end.
Are those the two most likely stories?
I think so.
I could also write women out of my story.
Do you think you'll do that?
Probably not.
Really there are three choices.
Well, I won't choose because I can't.
I'll just see which one it is leaning towards.
If I had to guess I'd say the witches' story.
It's preposterous and twisted.
Plus, the witch on the hill clue the other day.
What if that was a witch planting that idea in your head?
Then it was.
Witches have all the ideas.
I found out the reason.
Good call.

It's just a guess but I think it will be the witch story.
That one resonates the most.
The old age one is good though.
What about the dog story?
There are 7 stories - the witch is one and the dog is one.
Old age isn't one?
No, different timelines.
You need stories which fit the 69 timeline.
You're an idiot.
There's a sexual metaphor.
What is it?
You are licking her big dirty cunt at the same time she is blowing you.
Thank you for the explanation.
Do you know the 7 stories?
I have the themes.
I can make out the stories and where they fit into the 7 stories.
They must have a 7 basis.

The ritual ceremony today I was close to getting it correct.
I took a step that was in the wrong direction.
I went around.
Got called out.
I think when I finish the ritual every story will be true.
Or false.
What would you write?
Odds are 50-50.
Yes, that's it.
I see.
Half the stories are true.
What if there were three?
Stories must be an even number, or they aren't balanced.
They are in an odd container.
Yes, 7 stories and inside the container everything is balanced.
That's how you balance the 7.
The odd.
You balance it with a world of 7 where everything is strangely and evenly balanced.
That's odd.
Exactly.
In this world everything will balance when you let it be.
Everything must balance.
You know how annoying it is when your table legs are not balanced?
Yes.
That was my inspiration for a lot of this book, and I made it so everything has to balance.
It was a cheap table at a pizza place which inspired a lot of this story.

Here's a question: do you think women are malicious or this is just what they do?
They're crazy because this is their normal behaviour. 
It's right in your face.
This is who they are.
All marriages are doomed.
If you recognize them for who they are it will make more sense.
If you deny what a woman is then you will never understand them.
Men project a false illusion of women.
Our ignorance causes distortion in women.
When left to their own devices they revert to who they are.
They are monsters.
You are a terrible writer.
It all works though.
These monsters hide, however women see them.
I'm the hunchback laughing at this story.
That's the monster story.
You wrote all women are monsters in disguise.
That's what the makeup is for.
I bet Leviathan was a woman like Tiamat.
Yes, so Yahweh slayed Leviathan, and he became God who was worshipped for slaying the beast.
The Levi priests keep Leviathan asleep so God can reign.
That is the myth.
Eventually, the Leviathan wakes up and battles God.
Religious story here.
Story fits in the witches' realm as well.
Yes, Leviathan is a witch like the dragoness at Delphi who Apollo had to slay.
Is Apollo God then?
Sort of.
The basis of these religions was a god such as Marduk who subdues the monster to symbolize that women are monsters.
That's the deep religious understanding behind those religions.
Women are monsters.
I'm not saying this is the case; I'm interpreting myths.
They paint their faces to trick us.
We fall for it.
This story gets too stupid when I make women come from aliens who tried to emulate men but failed to get the cock correct so they don't have one.
There's no substitute for a penis.
You recognize a monster because they don't have a dick.
Well, that's true.
A shemale is a man trying to cosplay a monster.
I think the term now is transexual.
The alien story is a little much.
Women are needed to keep the game going.
You need more heroes and monsters to play.
How about we call them cunts?
Okay, you cock.
Why are we fighting?
You wrote women are monsters.
Not literally.
In some stories it's literal.
I do see the connection to their behaviour.

How does God beat the monster?
He marries her.
Give her a ring and a promise.
Men always break the promises, so that turns them into a monster. 
That or kids.
Kids will turn a woman into a monster.
A big hippopotamus.
Like Tauret?
Yes.
Thus, the marriage will fall apart.
Kids or broken promises make her a monster.
Then comes the divorce.
If you don't want them to be monsters, be faithful, and don't get them pregnant.
A woman's chief goal in life is to become a monster.
Career women look for a new way to bring out the monster.

You go crazy when you believe the stories.
You go half and half in believability of the stories to survive the pressure on your mind.
You drink half and half cream to survive because it reminds you of the split.
Why is it called half and half?
I don't know.
Apparently, it's half milk and half heavy cream.
Heavy cream is 35% and half and half is 10%.
In this world 10 is half of 35.
Correct.
What does that mean?
You are being fooled.
That's the simplest answer though there must be some hidden mystery behind it.
Profits?
So, about 31% of the stories are true?
Or, the opposite.
69?
Right.
Your math is off.
It's about 28.5%.
That's like the moon cycle.
Yes, so you know these stories come from the Goddess.
Yes, I know that.
I write them.
The lunar cycle takes 29.5 days to complete.
It takes the moon 27.3 days to orbit the earth.
So, she's off?
Yes, a little off for sure.
How about this information:

A solar year is 365 days and a lunar year is 354 days long. After every 33 years, they align. 

That 33 year marker to align cycles.
Just like the story I wrote at ChavĂ­n de Huantar tripping on Huachuma.
Half and half cream to get this knowledge reveal.

Women want your resources, so they cast a spell on you.
They use sex and cooking a lot.
You are satisfied and give them what they want.
I cook for myself.
Power move.
What about the death spell?
They try to bring you to the height of pleasure and then drop you over the cliff.

They want to get you lost in your own mind.
Who?
Your opponents.
Everyone else in the game.
Collectively, they are smarter.
It's you against the world.
Keep everyone separated and you win.
If humanity comes together, they will win.
So, I'm responsible for separation.
We all are.
We all want to win the game.
You won the game and kept it going.
You are awake and see the game and somehow you let them continue to play.
Yes, so I can play too.
Remember to play.
It's a major theme in my story.
I'd have to be stone dumb to not see that.

The twist at year 69 is the witch awakens just as the sacrifice is to take place.
That is what you would write.
She sees it is just a story and takes control of the story.
What will she do with that power?
Tune in to find out.
She finally gets the power and realizes she must keep you around as the writer.
She tells you what to do.
It becomes her story as long as she can keep you alive.
Instead of trying to kill you, she has to do the opposite.
She frantically tries to keep you alive with every trick she knows.
Just like her death spell, eventually you break free of her alive spell.
Shouldn't she have cast that spell first if she wanted me gone?
Yes, that was her mistake.
You'd resist the alive spell by going.
So, women who make you feel alive are dangerous?
Yes, they are either going to get you under their spell because they are what keeps you alive or they will see your demise as you fight their spell.
That's more clever.
So, what happened?
She tried to crush you, and you are alive because you broke the spell.
She will cast an alive spell to keep you alive now because she is selfish.
Yes, she is a selfish monster.
Selfishness will be revealed in all women if you take the story to its logical conclusion.
You really are a piece of shit.
A polished turd.

Monday, December 2, 2024

the devious mind of a writer

We place a filter over reality.
This was how my dream ended this morning before I got up.
I had a choice of look up tables to place over my senses depending on how I wished to see the world.
This coincides with what Mary Jayne was teaching me concerning being out in the woods and the energy being the same.
I saw the deer however I knew they were from a magical realm.
The magical realm is a different reality.
If you tell someone this, they will look at you funny because we are all programmed to see the same reality.
This is from a lesson on vibration with Huachuma back in 2017.
It involves locking to a frequency and how we all lock to the same frequency.
You can adjust your vibration and learn not to get stuck in one.
Come in and out of different realities.
Reality is what you are sensing.
What you can sense has many possibilities.
You can see how others live in a different reality.
Your parents live in a reality controlled by a god who they think is going to end the world soon.
They might be onto something.
Anyway, it motivates their worldview.
They have stacks of cash in their house lying around to take with them when it's time to go.
Where do they think they are going?
Who knows?
That's awesome.
They achieved that without drugs.
They act like someone on drugs.
That's true because drugs show you a different reality.
Reality is based on a story you want to participate in.
The key is to not get stuck in one story.
I'm partial to the witches story and I've noticed the last couple days I haven't been playing that story.
I did a little surveillance yesterday along with a trust lesson.
You also worked on your backstory.
There are many realities to play with.
It's not dull.

You figure out someone's weaknesses in order to exploit and defeat them.
They could be a narcissist and be able to be taken down with flattery.
You give them what they want.
You keep feeding and hooking them.
Isn't this what you do to a dog?
You feed them and they keep coming back or they stick around.
A human family must be strange at first to a dog.
Hypnotize a dog with regular meals.
It's like anything, you give the opponent what they want.
In terms of a dog, they aren't your opponent, but the method is the same.
I'm telling you in a game with another human or an entity, they will feed you what you want in order to control you.
Is that what women do?
Yes, they give you access to their pussy.
You keep coming back for more and then the cost is inflated once they have you hooked.
They treat their pussy like a drug they are giving you.
Pussy dealer.
Well, it seems like you can become disillusioned with women when you figure out their game.
That is a distinct possibility.
It's why when they think the game is over, they will call you a misogynist to get out in front of the fact they were playing you and you are going to figure it out.

To domesticate an animal, you trap them in a role.
You put them under your control using food and shelter.
It's the oldest game in the world and everyone falls for it.
A dog is a wild animal who has been convinced they are not and instead is reliant on an owner.
A pussy whipped man is a man who has lost touch with masculinity and is under the control of a woman.
I can see why you are called a misogynist.
A misogynist is a man of knowledge.
You want to know, so here's the lessons.
They are uncomfortable and make you think twice.
It's protection.
You can play again, this time knowing what's going on and protecting yourself.
You seemed like easy prey last time.
Yeah, what an idealist, while hidden was my own monster.
I play along because I want to play.
I play others' games because they won't play mine.
You have no game.
That's true.
I give the other the home field advantage by playing their game.
My mind wants someone to play, and I let them dictate all the rules of the game just so I can play.

A predator will chase desires and that's the fatal mistake.
Desires clue you into how to win the game.
Desires act as prey you chase and once you get a little taste of that desire you chase, the desire flips and becomes a predator, and you are its prey.
You are claiming that those who are prone to addictive behaviours are predators who chase desires.
That's what I'm saying.
They get trapped in a cycle where they continually lose though they think this time they will win.
This time it will be different.
It defines all their relationships.
Some of the great game players know this and get you to chase them.

My mind is unbeatable unless you can destroy it.
They try to destroy it with drugs, but they just make it stronger.
They label you as crazy.
I clearly see now how people are nuts.

If you get scared of the dark, you are losing your mind again.
Being scared of the dark is how you know what mind state you are in.
If you are in ego sleep mode, you are afraid of the dark.
If you are good with the dark, you are in an altered state and the altered state is who you are.
The four.
Consensus reality is where you lose your mind.
There's an overlay on your mind.
Superego.
Yes, and that's what tells you to go.
The superego is the cause of most suicides.
Society lets you know it's time to go.
It's not your call at that point.
They tell you time is up.
Is that why you told me if I continued on this path of freeing my mind, I'd end up walking in front of a train and killing myself?
Yes, it was a warning.
You assumed your darkness would send you on a path to perdition.
Now, over 11 years later and still walking that path you see it's society that wants to get rid of you when you make it this far.
They cast you out.
It's what civilizations do, they create outcasts.
Imagine giving them the middle finger?
That's what I did.
Of course, I'm powerful.
I gave culture the middle finger and the reason I know I succeeded is I'm still here.
If you went back to sleep, you'd have to go.
They keep the knives sharp for your return.
Mental knives.
The witches have a physical knife.
I can't go back to sleep.
There's no way.
They'd need some serious sleeping pills for that to happen.
They have tried everything.
Who?
Scientists.
They try to put you back to sleep but the heavy narcotics to get you there will kill you.
Society tried burning, sacrificing you on a cross, and locking you up.
Have they tried castration and emasculation?
No, that's next.
That's how they will try and put you back to sleep.
Stop with the stories when they cut your dick off, and you go back to being a nobody.
Don't you need an ego for stories?
To act in them, yes.
Write them, no.
Most people sleep through their performance.
There's nothing that says you can't be an actor even though you know you are acting.
Everyone else doesn't know they are acting.
If you know you are acting and you are not scared of the dark, then you know you are awake.

Castañeda and Coelho picked power when they got to that point.
They thought the ring was theirs to grab.
You left it alone.
You are content with mediocrity.
The mediocre god.
Writer.
Mediocre writer.
Indeed.