path to and with heart

There is no self. The final attachment we cling to is the sense of self and language and culture are not our friends in this regard. Language is pretty well near impossible to use in an everyday manner without the assumption of selfhood. Try it - I dare you! Pretty much everything about me is an attached behaviour and I can reduce myself to a sense of conscious awareness combined with this emotional feeling of what we call the heart - the intuitive, insightful, and loving part. The combination of these divine principles within is us. The mother is common to all as the heart and our minds are individual beacons of the divine mind at large which represents all of consciousness. We are all children of divine parents and we incarnate in this world and build this edifice by attaching behaviours to it by choice; the choices we make are of course compromised by previous choices we have made and these are also influenced greatly by our environment and circumstance. Advertisers and their sophisticated systems of data analysis know this all too well. It is stunning to see how they track and use our online behaviour to pretty much build a complete profile of us as individuals. It’s funny, I’d almost expect an advertising information technologist to become the world’s foremost proponent of an eastern type of philosophy of letting go of the self. It is clear that only by shedding these acquired behaviours, attachments basically, that we can hope to figure out who we are. Without giving up the sense of self, which we have spent a lifetime building up, we can never get to a point of understanding.

In mythology you can see now why the Goddess is both the mother and the lover. The feminine and masculine are joined together and that is the all. They separate and we have the building blocks of creation. The feminine takes the energy and births forms. The masculine is the intellect driving the direction of all this creation. The mind desires to incarnate into the multitude of forms in order to self reflect and understand itself. The feminine mother acquiesces to this desire and allows the mind into forms through the construction of a limited mechanical device called a brain which allows for consciousness to appear in a restrictive and low vibrational material form. The masculine mind gets lost in creation and the feminine mother is buried away as we lose connection to her because of the dominant nature of consciousness which by now has split into a bipolar nature in this dualistic existence. The original eternal pair retain a faint memory of each other and call out in desperation. They are the original divine lovers and the mother becomes the lover once again searching for her lost loved one. This theme is the basis for many myths.

I saw this interplay in at least three visions. First time I drank Ayahuasca I was witness to the feminine as lover, soul mate, and the Great Mother. Fifth time I drank I went to the castle of gold where she is locked away. Seventh time I drank was an erotic meeting in the temple at Denderah (The most erotic feeling I have ever experienced).

Goddess Hathor's temple at Denderah

As well my Huachuma vision of the light and the two serpents was the intellect protected by the two aspects of the feminine, mother and lover, that form the heart.

Huachuma Vision

This was followed by her telling me the ego mind will stop at nothing to prevent the reunification of the two divine principles. This last journey to Peru seems like it was a summation, a call to finally understand what this was all about, to trust the heart space and turn off the intellect because it is tainted with the ego mind. When I was finally able to do that it began the process of piecing it all together. I knew the story now and just had to find her. I've found her.

To heal others is to help them find her as well. That seems to be my path going forward.