On this path that can lead to a spiritual awakening the expectation is that you would run into many instances of the masculine ideal of enlightenment or the behaviours that are deemed necessary to achieve it. If you join up with a discipline then discipline you are in for! The guru path will eventually lead to an understanding of awareness and attachment after you have moved up through the ranks. We suffer because we seek fulfillment in ideals that have their root in the machinations of the mind. When these desires are not fulfilled then we suffer. So the antidote and the ultimate goal is to let go of all attachments and not to desire.
What a way to live! The ascetic life of no pleasure and a denial of the passions. Through this practice, and not attaching to anything, you become one with your higher self and are a beacon of pure consciousness. That's the whole trip! You are the cosmic alpha male, superior to all others. As a culture we have embraced a god who is a domineering and righteous male overlord and who has as one of his epithets the title of "the most high." Pleasure is frowned upon, especially sex as it is for procreation only.
Then why bother with life? Why go on with this charade? To be human is to experience, to desire, to get attached, and to suffer. Through the agony and ecstasy of life we learn the value of cooperation and from that love of our fellow travellers on this journey. Love is the most spiritual thing you will ever encounter in your life. There is no other comparison and having the ability to love and be loved is something that should not be wasted. There is nothing spiritual about asceticism and unattachment, no far from it. The spiritual path ultimately needs balance or it becomes another male only quest, a competition to ascend the mountain and become the most high.