remembering to forget

The greatest gift you could give yourself is the ability to forget; especially if you are omnipotent and capable of transforming energy into anything you desire. Not only that but an additional gift would involve a sense of something finite instead of the infinite. The rush would certainly be enlivening as the race against time commences. This universe is running down so the game will eventually end and thus the motivation.

If you couldn’t forget about all you know then eventually there’s no novelty left in the universe. Have you ever overdosed on a new tune that originally pulls you in and you long to hear it repeatedly? In time, the enchantment wears off and occasionally you listen to the old song for nostalgia's sake, but by then it has lost the hooks it once had in you. Love affairs follow a similar path. After sitting with this dilemma for a long time, I’d hazard to guess we’d all say, “fuck it - let’s have an adventure where I get lost in my own creation, forget the sum total of my experience, and see what happens."

If I’m god and I can forget I’m god it makes the game pretty good, while at the same time a psychological experiment to see how I’d react in a simulation where I don’t know the other characters are also me. I would see how I treat them when I designate them the other.

Amnesia gives you a chance to enter an earth world of suffering with a clean slate. The test is to see how you react to the temptations, the chance to enrich oneself at the expense of others, or to become of service. Without prior knowledge of self, you learn valuable insights into your nature if you find yourself ignorant of your omnipotence. Knowing of your divine nature and the intrinsic oneness of all allows you to embrace your sisters and brothers as they are you. Why would you hurt yourself? Not knowing of this relationship gives the opportunity to love the other unconditionally or to use others for gain and perpetuate suffering. It's a sobering test because all will fail at first. Nobody will get a perfect score. As with all teachings, failure will force you to look for the answer. If you wake up to the human condition, you can make your way towards the answer you hoped you would gravitate towards.

Of course, I’d try and figure out the game. That’s part of what makes it so grand. I created this impenetrable game board but did leave some agents of consciousness to discover along with myths and coincidences that follow the seeker around - well, enough of them to keep you guessing. You see, I’m on to the ruse and can see through it a bit, however I can’t be sure. I’m not sure I will ever be 100% convinced either way. I don’t find that frustrating; instead, I find it funny and rather ingenious.

I’m going to keep seeking.

I wanted to know the origins of beliefs at the onset of middle age. I wanted to figure out why we humans believe what we do. This question led to many others and fourteen years later I satiated my desire to know. It's funny as I answer all my questions, I do have a new one. I realize novelty is what makes eternity interesting. New experiences light us up and so we bake amnesia into the cards of our comings and goings.

The Greek god Dionysos is the master of the drama. He keeps everything fresh and new and gives us so many roles to play on the grand stage of life. Why would the eternal return involve playing the same part? If I come again, I want a new role to play, and of course I want no recollection of my previous roles.

But why not? Is it cheating if I do find out my previous roles? Is it unfair if I definitely find out I have done this trip before, and the spectre of death becomes laughable? If I know for sure how the game is set-up then I think I can play it with more gusto, instead of conserving my life energy. I know this incarnation I wanted knowledge, so I avoided the dares, situations, and addictions which would terminate my life. I look towards a new game of adventure.

So, that's my new project and ask from my benefactors. I want to find out the way to explore my previous comings before the going. I can at least ask.