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Monday, May 12, 2025

student of tao

Waking up leads you towards death.
Staying asleep keeps you alive on Earth.
If you want to remain on Earth, you stay asleep and keep dreaming your existence into reality.
Once you awaken you will stop the dream, and then it is time to go.
It's a very precarious time.
I can't teach awakening.
Why?
It's suicidal.
How are you still here?
I did nothing.
Everyone is programmed to do something and make a choice.
I'm the opposite.
I made no choice.
I did nothing.
Can't you teach that?
Yes.
Why don't you?
Because if you don't trust me, you will make a choice and then you are done.
Isn't that what the student would want?
Isn't that why they subconsciously wanted to wake up?
I don't know their reasoning.
Maybe they are only curious.
Maybe they accidentally woke up.
How would you put them back to sleep?
You can't.
Once you see it, you can't unsee it, and it calls to you.
Like a siren?
Yes, you must know.
The best things to do are deflection and obfuscation, so you take it slow.
What about those who know and are still here?
They become teachers and are of service.
Some are healers and some are malevolent.
The path of awakening will lead to your demise.
The only way out for some is to get attached to a leader or a group which hypnotizes them into a different train of thought.
Religion will ground you and keep you around.
A cult will hypnotize you, so you forget you have awakened.
You did it by yourself and didn't join any group of spiritual misfits.
I wanted to see into the mystery.
What do you think now?
It's crazy to want to awaken.
You will think it's time to go and others will tell you to leave.
It's very strange.
I don't wish that upon anyone.

Do you have any tips for the awakened soul?
Yes, Tobacco is your friend.
Tobacco will activate the dreaming mind.
You need to keep dreaming your existence into being or you will depart.
Tobacco will do this for you and then you can stay.
My advice is once you experience an awakening is to establish a relationship with Tobacco.
He will teach you for 7 years while you head towards becoming fully awake.
Once you are completely awake, the protection of Tobacco will keep you here.
Why don't you want to leave?
I don't see the point of awakening and leaving.
Why do all the work and not see the results of your labours?
Doesn't the flow lead you to your departure once you have awakened?
Yes.
Shouldn't you follow the flow?
The flow teaches balance.
The master juggler plays with life and death and never chooses.
The flow is a choice to do nothing about your awakening.
Correct.
Don't you teach that?
Yes, I teach a course in doing nothing.
Aren't I doing something by not leaving?
No, you're doing nothing.
I don't understand.
If you wake up and do nothing you make a choice.
The secret is to do do nothing.
That's confusing.
I know, that's why you can't teach awakening.
It's too difficult for the mind to comprehend and stick around.
To balance the flow, you must do.
What you do, is nothing.
The teaching doesn't say do not do.
It says do do.
It's all about do do.
Fuck me.

Mary Jayne makes prophecy believable.
Apocalyptic scenarios ring true when you are on drugs.
It's very funny to me that substances that are reviled by our current culture are the catalysts for all the crazy end of the world stories from yesteryear.
You don't know that.
You do if you partake.
If you never experience altered states, then of course you would deny this.

The trident represents the three.
The Goddess, Eros, and the writer.
Then why is it a symbol of Poseidon, Neptune, and the Devil?
Their depths will lead you to the Holy Trinity.
You reject it because of where you got the knowledge.
Why?
Conditioning.
You are conditioned to not believe those characters because they are dark.
There must be another myth.
Do you think I'm making it up?
No, it's a fool.
Christianity made up their own Trinity.
Yeah, they got rid of the Goddess.
They made it so no man went near her.
Only God.
He sent Gabriel.
That's how toxic she is.
You are talking about the Virgin Mary.
Yes.
No man wanted part of that.
Even God said no way.
Poor Gabriel.
That guy is a saint.
What about her cuckold husband, Joseph?
Yeah, you don't want to be that guy.
She got cucked by God.
You mean him.
Yeah, but the story is about her.
I thought she was a whore?
Well, yes.
She was smart in that she didn't let them impregnate her.
Only God could do it.
This is an interesting rewrite of the Virgin Mary story.
It's much better now, don't you think?
I'm not sure women will approve of the story, but I can see the appeal to men.
You might want to keep this one to yourself.
Anyway, look up the trident symbol.
Poseidon has control over the seas.
You'd think it would be 7 prongs then.
Kali is represented with a trident.
She wants the power of the three.
The Romans were big on triumphal processions, which represented power.
The Devil is power over darkness, chaos, and the underworld.
I like the idea of dominion over the three worlds of the sea, land, and air.
It fits the shamanic worldview.
To acquire these three realms would represent total power.
Would God or the Devil have it?
The Devil has the pitchfork.
That's the more believable of the two.
I mean God seems powerless.
He's not, he just does nothing with his power.
He gets people to worship him and does nothing.
At least the Devil does something for you.
You make a good point.
If you ask God, he just ignores you, and the priest rattles on about how some get the grace of God and some don't.
If by happenstance you get your desired outcome you think you are blessed because of God.
I like that answer.
By contrast those who make a deal with the Devil get what they want though they never think of the outcome of changing your story.
You put your story in the hands of the Devil and are subject to his whims.
Right, so if you are going to ask for a favour, ask God because he is not going to do anything, and if you believe in him enough the laws of the universe will grant you your prayer.
Why?
Belief.
The universe is created through the mind by belief.
So, your best bet is prayer.

With spirituality, you take the ego up a level.
That's all it is.
How would you explain awakening to someone?
You wouldn't.
Why?
It's strange and nonsensical.
To be completely honest it would be preposterous.
It's a porno.
Game.
High score.
Nonsense.
How would that be convincing?
It would be the opposite.
So, you shut up about it.
Talk in generalities.
The essence of spirituality is nonsense.

Dion wants the last word.
The Goddess thinks it's her right to have the last word.
Is that the game?
Who gets the last word?
Obviously, the writer, not the creator.
Makes sense.
Doesn't she get the last word in your story?
Yes.
Utopia.
She finally gets the last word and the story ends.
Why?
You need a writer or nothing happens.
Man moves creation along.

Is Tobacco the dream agent?
It's the master plant.
Why?
It helps you write.
So does Mary Jayne.
Either one will get you started.
Both together and you can write possessed.
Being able to craft a new story is how curanderos heal.
What about CBD oil?
That's a pain reliever.
It's not a healer.
A healer is a shaman who uses Tobacco and other plants.
Tobacco to change the story.
The plant to fix the ailment.
Tobacco gives MJ power.
A great writer will have a relationship with Tobacco.
Obviously.

If you were to teach a course in plant medicines or just this path in general, you'd start with Tobacco.
Don Howard did.
It's a one week crash course, but the first ceremony is Mapacho.
It's by design.
Tobacco starts off the retreat.
Don Rober protects you with Tobacco and blows him around all ceremony.
He's got your back while he weaves his songs.
I wouldn't do a ceremony without Tobacco.
It's 7 years with Tobacco.
You mean until you get to work with him?
Yes, until then you are a student.
After 7 years you can work together.

You save insects and spiders.
And worms.
You alter the story.
It's the flow.
It's something I'd do.
Why?
Either I'm a softy or genuine.
What do you think you are?
I help lessen suffering.
I steer others away from death.
It's because I'm death.
Death would need to balance out his nature by saving what he can.
Some are beyond help.
It's simple to save an insect.
You don't save humans.

Do you think Tobacco is slowly killing you?
If that's what you believe, then yes.
What do you believe?
Tobacco protects me.
If I thought he was killing me I'd stop.
Obviously.
Death is always stalking you.
The answer is to take on the role.

It's a 7 year apprenticeship with Tobacco.
Then he is your lifelong ally.
It culminated in 2023 when you needed him most.
You timed that out well.
I have perfect timing.
Well, if I let it be.
If I fuck with the story, then I throw off the timing.
You are a perfect student of Tao.
Practice doing nothing.
There is no expectation of perfection.
You see how it works.
Now that you know, it is easier to be perfect but the danger in perfection is getting to total knowledge which you then must balance out with mystery.
You can't know everything.
There's always more.
I'm humble enough to realize that is the case.
I prove it to myself everyday even though sometimes I think there cannot possibly be more.
It's incredible when you think of it.
If you closed yourself off to new experiences, then you could get to know everything.
It's a game of perspective.
If you load up on experience you will overwhelm yourself.
So, as you can see, the answer is balance.
That's the fundamental teaching of Tao.
The teaching is to do nothing because it is all relative.
Humans are doers, so that is the medicine of Tao.
Tao is not nothing.
It's balance.
So, what did I see?
Balance.
Okay, but what did I see?
Nothing.
So, isn't Tao nothing?
No, it's balance.
What happens when you see balance?
You see one instead of two or more.
You saw one.
It looked like nothing.
It's non-duality.
It's one.
So, I didn't see nothing.
Non-duality is nothing.
Why?
There's no observer.
But I was looking at it.
Yes.
What did you see?
Nothing.
Is that non-duality?
I don't know.
Why?
Because you can't see non-duality.
Correct.
So, what did I see?
Nothing.
What is nothing?
It's non-duality when you look at it.
Okay, so what is non-duality?
Everything.
But I saw nothing.
You saw everything.
You just can't see everything.
Why?
You can't compute it, so you see nothing.
So, non-duality is everything.
It appears to be.
You can't see it though.
The funny thing is it is right in front of your face.
If you could see non-duality, you'd see duality.
Everything.
It's a twist.
You can't see non-duality.
Correct.
If you could, you'd see duality.
They are the same.
An observer twists non-duality into duality.
Who is the observer?
The audience.
You.
There is always more, isn't there?
It goes on and on.

In theory if you get to the writer there would be no more.
It's like Dorothy getting to the Wizard of Oz or Neo discovering the architect.
What happened to them?
Dorothy went home.
The Wizard let her know how to do it.
Belief.
That story is deceptive.
Yes.
It's a dawdling old man behind the curtain.
He's a fool.
It's a fool.
Nobody sees that until you get to that place yourself.
Nobody gets there.
He's the writer of Dorothy's dream and does what is necessary to remain undetected.
How did the author of that story know?
Field of poppies.
He was taking drugs.
Like Homer and Lao Tzu?
Yes, that's the connection.
Do you think you can get there with meditation?
You can get to nothing.
God mode.
It's beyond God mode.
What is?
The understanding of the writer.
Well, the storywriter of the Wizard of Oz knew about the man behind the curtain.
He knew he was full of bluster, and he was told about the power of belief.
He wrote about it.
He still thought the Wizard was a fool.
Definitely not the writer of creation.
What about Neo in the Matrix?
That's a mescaline story.
The green gives it away and there is a line early in the film about mescaline and dreams.
The thing with mescaline is it shows you reality but it's a heavy mindfuck.
You are never quite sure what exactly you are being shown.
You get close to the mystery with mescaline.
What stops you from understanding it?
Belief.
You don't buy into it.
It's simple.
They knew there was an architect, and he was running a simulation.
A writer creates worlds which are simulations.
He gets the actors to buy into the performance, and you have a great story.
Cipher woke up and knew it wasn't real.
He wanted to go back and buy back into the story.
He was happy there.
The malcontents who woke up knew the Matrix wasn't real and that bothered them.
Well, it isn't real.
It is a story.
What else is there?
Nothing.
Non-duality.
So, the ship Nebuchadnezzar was on a voyage towards nothing?
Sort of.
They were going to make their own story free of the writer.
They were renegade actors rebelling against the tyranny of the writer, instead of just playing their roles the best they could.
It's like they formed a union and thought they had the power to make their own studio which is the same as creating their own world within the writer's world.
Would that bother the writer?
No, it's a great alternative storyline.
The Matrix was a great movie.
Probably my favourite.
I love the white rabbit tattoo.

How did you get to the writer?
Study and drugs.
No meditation?
No, that was a waste of time.
I wasn't good at it.
Why?
It seemed like a slow way to hypnotize yourself.
Why do you think they tell you to concentrate on one object in front of you?
I see.
You can get far with meditation.
To nothing.
That's it.
You stop.
Why?
You think that's it.
You self-hypnotize yourself into thinking you got there.
Where?
Nowhere.
It stops all the game players in their tracks so they can't get the ultimate high score and win the game.
They think they won but all they get is a spot on the leaderboard.
They aren't the most high.
Who is the most high?
Now, it's you.
You got to the writer on top of the pyramid in the game of Tao.
This sounds kind of nuts.
It is.
It's another roadblock in the game.
Absurdity will send you for a loop when you see the underpinnings of creation.
No one will believe you.
What to do?
Smile and shut up about it.
What makes me so special that I became the most high?
You kept going.
You weren't content with getting to God.
You shrugged and kept at it.
Others tried to end you and cause you pain.
You stepped up your game.
You are the prophesied one.
I'm Neo.
This is funny.
Do you believe this?
Well, I'm talking to myself, and my other self is very clever.
He's full of stories.
The kicker is these stories all have basis in reality.
How so?
I keep seeing them play out.
It's very intriguing and funny.
Maybe you are just nuts.
That could be but I don't feel it.
I know I might be a little crazy and I accept that, but on the whole this all seems plausible.
How do you get to me?
I told you, I kept going.
Why?
There's always more.
Belief.
I was looking for something.
I didn't know what it was.
I knew it wasn't God.
Why?
He's an asshole.
What about the writer?
He's a bit of an asshole as well.
Do you think there is something beyond the writer?
I know there is.
There is always more.
What's beyond the writer?
The trinity.
What's that?
The Goddess, Eros, and the writer.
Eros is dual sexed.
I know about the trinity.
What's beyond the trinity?
Nothing.
Non-duality.
Is that what you see when you get really high?
Yes.
It's hard to understand.
Why?
It's nothing.
Got it.
What's beyond nothing?
Everything.
Duality.
It twists back around.
That's why there is always more.
If you recognize the twist, you can be content in your searching.
Are you content?
In terms of searching for meaning, yes.
In terms of my life, no, it's just getting started.
Why?
I see the game in its entirety.
What are you going to do?
Nothing.
Why?
That's the game.
Tao.
Do do nothing.
Follow along and have a laugh.
If I do something to change the flow, I'll fuck it all up.

God was of no help to humans.
All the inventions to make life easier are human.
He's an asshole.
He did nothing.
Best student of Tao.

Monday, May 5, 2025

the edge of nothing

Huachuma means "no head" in Quechua.
It will give you the keys to heaven.
Heaven's Gate.
Yup.
I know that state.
It's where you stop the mind.
You see nothing.
I've been there.
Disengaging the mind gives you access to the portals to leave.

Don Howard would teach to stop the mind.
Yes, and on to Heaven's Gate.
He was showing you how to get there in this world.
You get to Heaven by stopping the mind.
The mind creates this world and stopping it gets you out of it.
I see it perfectly.
If you engage the mind when you are in ceremony, it becomes very difficult.
Yes, but that's where knowledge comes from.
The mind.
He was teaching that you stop the mind and let the plants teach.
I see that.
The best teaching method is a dialectic between you and the teacher.
Socratic method.
He didn't teach that.
He taught you to listen.

Living in-between worlds.
Edging.
Heaven or Hell.
Both choices are on the menu.
Some will burn and take you to Hell.
Others say follow them to Heaven.
It's a choice.
Don't choose.
Edge.
See both portals and live on the edge of both.
Go between them both.
Bounce up and down on the rollercoaster ride.
You shouldn't choose.
Do nothing.
It's the secret to keeping the game going when you finish the quest.
Ayahuasca is the vine of the dead.
That's you, buddy.
Dead.
It's the calling.
The true calling is to the one approaching death.
What are you going to do?
The vine helps you decide where you want to go.
It shows you your choices and will lead you there.

You can make your world whatever you want.
That's the power you have.
You are given power to manifest Heaven or Hell, and you choose what you want to do with the power.
Don Howard shows you Heaven and service.
Others in your life gave you a glimpse of Hell.
You chose neither.
Shouldn't you choose?
No.
Mind or no mind?
People are waiting for you to choose.
Go away.
Got it.
They then tell you to kill yourself.
Go away.
You wanna play?
It's a game.
What do you have against that?
Spite.

Your mind keeps you here.
You have been sentenced to death by the witches.
You must believe they have the power to kill you.
Do you believe it?
No, the opposite.
My mind is more powerful than their hypnosis.
To get me to go, therefore choose, is to break down and control my mind.
It will never happen.
I'm very disciplined.
Don't stop believing you are living out your dream.
Once you stop believing, the dream will end, and you will go.
Yeah, but I know it is a dream.
I'm awake.
I'm only around because I'm keeping the dream going through my mind.
Some say you are just getting started.
You keep dreaming the world into existence.
I know that's why I'm still here.
My mind.
If you take it to nothing for too long, they can get you to go.
I know.
You wake up, realize it is a dream, and then go.
I'll do nothing.
I won't tip my hand.
Isn't your belief in question?
Why?
You are alive because of your mind.
It doesn't make sense.
What keeps you alive?
Good question.
The answer is the mind.
The mind keeps you alive.
What's Heaven?
No mind.
What is there?
Utopia.
You have no mind, so you won't be able to write another shit story for the Goddess.
I see.
Isn't that next world a perfect world for dogs?
All dogs go to Heaven.
Yes.
You wrote a utopia for dogs.
You're incorrigible.
Yes, I cannot be reformed.
I think it's brilliant.
Thank you.
So, you are going to Heaven.
Dog Heaven.
It's not heaven for humans.
It's more of the same.

Some women take you to Hell.
The mind takes you to Hell.
No mind will get you to the portal of Heaven.
Do both.
Go back and forth.
Tobacco does both.
It bumps you up high and low.
It can get worse than this.
Hell.
Or Heaven?
I balance half Dion and half Apollo.
It's Tao.

They thought you were going to choose in 2022.
Who?
All those with a vested interest.
You wrote about it.
That was a fool.
They expected you to leave and you never did.
I got quizzed on it this year.
You wrote about it, and then never left.
They misunderstood my intentions.
That's a constant theme where nobody knows what the fuck you are talking about.
I tried to make it clear that killing myself to live was a metaphor.
They saw death.
Yes, that's why I'm death.
I became that character.
Hades.
I take on all the roles.
If they take your power, your story will end.
That's what is going on and why you are still here.
You still hold onto your power.
Dion?
Yes.
Well, I'm not going to lose him.
Are you positive?
They'd have to cut my dick off.
The story is shaping up.

The writer splits into God and the Devil.
They are Apollo and Dionysos.
Paul and Dion.
I see how it works.
The two are the halves of the writer.
Sometimes, I talk to the writer and sometimes to Dion.
They are the same.
I'm always Paul or God.
Yes, that's how it works.
You're God.
You think you are separate, however you know you are the same.
When you realize this, you stop scaring yourself.
You scare yourself by externalizing parts of who you are.
Everyone externalizes both God and the Devil.
You internalized God and then were left with the Devil question.
Then you internalized him.
What is external?
I want to say the illusion.
The story you have written is external.
Why?
So, you can experience it.
The internal story is all in your head.
The external story is the play.
The illusion.

As you head towards death, you wake up.
Being fully awake is a death state.
Why are you still here?
I conquered death.
I'm still here because I did nothing.
I woke up and chopped some wood.
Carried water.
What the fuck do you think that means?
If you don't chop your wood and get your water, you will die.
It's a nice way of saying don't forget who you are now that you are awake, or you will perish.
You dream this reality into existence.
It's your story.
Why?
You're the writer.
How do I know?
You woke up.
This is your story.
You can write whatever you want.
That's total power.
What are you going to do?
I will write fantasy.
Why?
Because I am tempted by power, but I know not to use it.
I will create alternate realities where I write the stories that thrill me.
This reality I'll let it be.

You are living on borrowed time.
What do you mean by borrowed?
You did the spiritual trip.
You threw off the identity which constrained you and your power.
You have the answers you were seeking.
The others want you to leave.
Do you want to go?
No.
Why?
I'm just getting started.
Why would you do this whole charade and then leave without experiencing it first hand?
You wake up and leave?
How would you confirm what you know?
I would posit the flow keeps you around to experience knowing.
Knowing isn't good enough, you must experience it.
The mistake others make is they complete their spiritual trip and choose to leave.
Didn't you choose to stay?
I chose nothing.
I chopped wood, carried water, went to bed at night, got up, made coffee, and carried on with life.
I didn't put on a robe and creepily smile at others saying I was spiritual.
I carried on with life.
Well, you can leave at any time.
I know of the portals to Heaven and Hell.

Don't trust everything you think of when you are high.
Why?
Because you are high.
Verify it.

You were burnt at el Brujo.
The portal opened and you felt the heat.
My legs were toast from entering Hell.
I thought I might have to go to the hospital, they were that bad.
They did peel away.
I didn't put the pieces of the puzzle together until now.
The edges of Hell burn you if you aren't careful.
No one will believe you.
Don Howard would.
I hung out at the portal for a while.
You survived that trip.
Would you do it again?
No.
Why?
I can see the witches and sorcerers and their games.
It was bad enough at the time where I got a feeling about some of them.
If you pay attention, you can figure them out.
They have tells.
Anyway, the trip to el Brujo can just be a random stop with nothing supernatural involved.
The supernatural is the entrance to the underworld.
Hades.
Imagine piloting your ship through that area?
The stuff of legends.
That trip was an odyssey.
You remained oblivious and slid on through, much to the dismay and astonishment of the others.
I am legend.
Living legend.

You decide yourself whether you go to Heaven or Hell.
The choice is presented to you, and you make the call.
Heaven is no mind and the way out of here.
Hell is in the mind, and you reincarnate.
The body will perish and will eventually force you to choose.
In this reality you can engage the mind, and you can also practice no mind.
If you want my advice, I will tell you to maintain a healthy balance.
If you wish to prolong your stay here on earth, don't make a choice.
Do nothing.
Be an observer.
If you make a choice, you will leave.
What are you going to choose at death?
Both.
Why?
I won't give up the mind.
I will know about the no mind.
The mind will separate from the body.
The body will have no mind, and the mind will continue on.
Aren't you choosing the mind?
No, both.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Why?
I practice both.
I'm not avoiding no mind.
You are wary of it.
I'm wary of stepping over the edge because I have witnessed others going too far and then not coming back.
I'm onto the game.
The mind doesn't perish.
I don't need to give it up.
I can find peace by entering a state of no mind while maintaining a mind.
The key is to not go all in on either.
Don't make a choice and you are good.
Do nothing?
Yes.
Who is the mind?
It's both of us.
Who are you?
Paul and Dion.
Apollo and Dionysos.
You wouldn't give that up.
Never.
To give it up would require me to do something.
I think part of the game is when you are awakening you are shepherded towards no mind.
You choose no mind and are sent to Heaven's Gate.
I'm not faulting this as people generally want to go to Heaven.
I'm just saying you shouldn't decide.
Doesn't someone decide?
Only if you are insistent on making a choice.
That's what is presented to you.
Heaven or Hell.
Where are you going?
Those are my only two options?
Apparently.
Well, I'm not playing that game.
Yes, you are.
You figured out that game.
Don't choose.
It's just a game.
It's not an imperative.
We treat it as a struggle we all go through, which is true, but it is just a game.
A game people take too seriously.
It's a spiritual game.
It's hard to win that game.
How do you win that game?
You go to both extremes and don't choose.
You see it's a trick.
You win.
Do I get a certificate?
You are the most high.
I do have the high score.
Fuck, that's a good game.
Yes, you'll lose if you don't realize it's a game.
Before you realize it's a game, the only way to keep yourself in the game is by doing nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to do nothing?
It's the ultimate challenge.

It's easy to see.
The body belongs to the earth and the mind is a representation of the universe.
The shape and function of the body is tied to the earth.
The mind is spacious like the universe.

Today was a full realization of your awakening.
Kind of like confirmation.
Yeah.
You get a confirmation certificate.
Yes.
I want an awakening and enlightenment certificate.
We will find you one.
You were already awake.
Today is the day you fully realized it.
Yes, but you shouldn't go fully into it.
Do you doubt you are fully awake?
Yes, I could be nuts.
That's true.
How does nuts feel?
Really spiritual.
Spiritual people are nutty.
I can't argue that.
People who take the awakening path are crazy.
Why?
They can't shut up about it.
Nothing more.
That's why they are crazy.
Christianity tried to channel the nuts into evangelism.
That's funny.
My friend is hilarious.
Yes, friend.
Unbreakable bond.
Go out and spread the good word.
Ha.

If I had taken today off, I would have missed the awakening ceremony.
Postponed.
The flow worked out.
Fully awake is edging.
I already was.
I just know I'm edging.
Be careful.
Yes, master.
Dion is the master.
Yes, but you switch.
Remember to switch.
You're equal partners.
To be the most high, you must be fully awake.
The fact you doubt this keeps you around.
Grounded.
If not, you will ascend.
An ascended master.
Precisely.
You are so good you choose when to ascend to your exalted place.
For sure.
Maybe I can get a stone idol made of me like Buddha.
Maybe.
But then you'd be gone.

You are spiritually edging.
How do you feel?
I have a handle on it.
Are you in control?
No, it's a flow state.
Freedom.
Don't try to control it.
What's it like to be awake?
Dion is with me.
What about you?
I'm awake.
Why?
I know Dion is with me.
What about the Goddess?
She's with me.
She's not me.
Dion is.
Know thyself.
You are two as one.
When did you become fully awake?
Mushrooms?
Huachuma.
Mary Jayne continued it.

For some, fully awake would be seeing the Devil inside.
They wouldn't get that far.
They'd see him and run or ask for something.
You kept going.
Others made it that far.
They left.
You stuck around.
Like a bodhisattva?
Sort of.
They stick around to help others awaken.
Why?
So, they leave.
They want to preserve their high score and get rid of the student before they get the high score.
Like a sorcerer?
Yeah.
A sorcerer's awakening involves making a deal with the Devil and that deal is to keep others away.
The student must leave the teacher to make his own deal.
A spiritual master runs from the Devil.
They then exit through the portal instead of confronting their darkness.
I didn't confront you.
Oh, maybe that once, but that was before I knew what I know now.
Once I saw you for who you were, I was a little apprehensive, but I got to know you.
Then I was no longer scared.
Then I had full realization without being scared.
Fear gets the spiritual masters, and they ascend to get away from Dion.
What about the sorcerers?
They strike a deal with him and never realize it's them.

It is full realization day.
You have been awake for a while.
Since 2013.
There's definitely stages to awakening.
The witches need to steal your power before you awaken.
Ideally.
They can try afterwards, but it's harder because the power is awake.
I remember the moment I woke up.
Frightening.
I was ready.
I was preparing for that spiritual experience.
Not everyone wakes up with a fright.
It all worked out.
I didn't take an easy path.
Is this what I wanted?
No.
You never asked to be awakened.
It happened.
You wanted to visit your darkness.
Yes.
That woke you up.
You didn't ask for it.
In a roundabout way I did.
Genius move.
You wanted to meet the Goddess and your darkness.
There was no asking for anything to gain from.
You wanted to see the Goddess.
You wanted to ask your darkness what's up?
Your intentions were excellent.
You didn't ask for full realization.
After a while, you just realize you are awake.