my illusion

Thinking about the body and realizing in a body you spend most of your time caring for your body.

When you incarnate into a body you are tasked with maintaining physical life through the body.

My view of the body is that it is your vehicle for this ride and for some reason I finally noticed that you spend an inordinate amount of time on the body.

Food, shelter, and maintenance.

Cleaning the body.

Decking it out in the latest fashion.

As you age the parts get worn and torn.

Teeth are a big one.

The eyes start to go.

You develop sexual dysfunction.

My knees hurt.

I get up in the morning and take care of the body's need to pee and then make coffee to kick start my day.

Then I must eat or I will feel terrible.

I will then lie down in the afternoon for a little rest.

I go for a walk to stay active.

Eat again.

Sleep.

When not tasked with some core bodily responsibility, I will engage in pursuits of the mind.

From this perspective, I start to wonder in regard to not having a body.

Freedom for the mind seems to be such a relief.

I can spend all my time lost in my mind.

When you think of it that way, death is viewed as liberation.

Well, why would anyone want life in a body?

Novelty and a chance to physically experience what can only be thought of with your mind.

Your mind will pull you towards physical manifestation.

It's a lot of work.

It's not that long and you are out.

We have a tendency to cling to the body.

It's understandable because we don't know what is beyond the body.

It's a guess.

In your case you have reasoned it out, but you don't know.

Do you think you will ever know?

Not 100%.

I have lost the ability to remember what it is like without a body.

Why do you think that is?

Because when times get tough, you'd kill yourself.

There would be a pandemic of suicide.

So many people would check out.

Why?

Life is hard and can fill you with despair.

You need family and friends to help you through it along with community.

Yes, but those institutions prevent you from seeing through your incarnation.

You get lost in your life.

Yeah, it's quite the game.

The pull towards the amusement park of Maya should come with a warning.

You seem pretty sure about the nature of this illusion.

It's seriously fucked up.

What do you mean?

It's well crafted, so for the most part you have no idea about it.

The fucked up part is when you start to see through it, strange things start to happen that defy expectations and the logic you pin upon the physical reality we live in.

I've seen through it.

Why don't you leave?

It's because I know what a struggle life is, and I want to now go through this incarnation with the blinders off.

I want to see how this all works and write about it.

Wouldn't that set off alarm bells at the carnival?

Yeah, they want you gone once you figure it out because you are dangerous to the wellbeing of others in that you'll give away the show.

Outfits such as Hinduism will give you clues to what it is you seek.

They steer you towards Maya, illusion, and your nature.

Somebody knew the game and encoded it into their way of life.

To not destroy society, they emphasized stages of life where it is acceptable to start seeing through the veil.

Once you are old and retired you are encouraged to enter the forest and get an idea of the game.

Vanaprastha.

By that time, it's safe to allow you that knowledge.

Plus, when you are younger you are too ensconced in the game to want to figure it out.

It seems tragic for some who figure it out and then must leave the game early.

Why don't you become a Hindu or Buddhist?

Those systems are cultural and designed to hold society together.

They are ways of life which withhold the truth until you get older because if you understood the teachings when you were younger you wouldn't play the game of life.

They divide your life into stages.

In Hinduism they assign you a caste.

Yes, because society needs to be orderly and continue to function.

They took the ability to shepherd like-minded people into a way of life and designed a system which honours your incarnation, and you fulfill a role in society which then allows those who come after you to experience what you had the opportunity to experience.

You pay it forward.

So, you are saying what I'm doing would be frowned upon?

Yes, you woke up and are letting others know what the illusion is.

Yeah, but nobody listens to me or reads my writing.

You have quite the game going on.

Is what I am doing wrong?

No, I could argue it's necessary.

Why?

The illusion has run its course.

Humanity has devolved into societies run by greed and oppression.

Awakening to Maya could end the project or have the opposite effect where we come together in a shared experience for all.

Well, for that to work you'd have to convince people of the illusory nature of reality.

You think you can do that?

No.

I'm examining death where you see the white light and the two goddesses.

The illusion you see through at death.

Briefly.

Then you're off.

In the case of the religious, it's Heaven.

Yes, and they forget about the goddesses.

Like the brain surgeon who wrote a book called "Proof of Heaven" with the Goddess and butterflies.

She isn't always a serpent.

She has many different forms.

She showed me.

You see her and then forget.

Why?

She hypnotizes you.

The brain surgeon wrote about her and then didn't mention her again.

He ended up in church.

I am not sure you blame him.

His mind was returned to his body, and he forgot about the Goddess.

You remember her at birth and death.

Forget about her the rest of the time.

Why?

The illusion.

She's the illusion.

You forget the illusion.

Why was she worshipped before?

She was honoured and people believed in magic.

Then we became rational and didn't like the idea of the Goddess.

Why?

She reminds us it's an illusion and about our impending death.

We wanted to think this is reality and not think about having to leave.

The Goddess would prepare you for death.

You will see through the illusion and leave.

She softens the experience.

I have seen through it and I'm still here.

You should be gone.

How did you do it?

I worshipped her.

There was no reason to, I was drawn to her.

I looked for her.

I found her.

I worshipped her.

The illusion is a gift to her children.

Why the illusion?

To play.

Who are her children?

Characters in the story.

Everyone is born from the mother.

They are her ideas.

The writer makes them come alive.

How?

He writes the story.

Action.

After birth you see her again at death.

In between you play.

Don't get stressed out.

Remember to play until she calls you home.

She will drop you in the next illusion.

No, she won't.

You do it to yourself.

You are hypnotized because you allow it.

Yeah, but you are not supposed to be in the carnival without being asleep.

She snaps you out of it when it's time to go.

She didn't snap me out of it.

You did it on your own.

She still comes for you.

It's part of the program.

It's fascinating.

The Red Lady.

Serpents.

White lights.

Witches.

Thoughts of it being time to go.

People telling you to leave.

They go overboard when you don't leave.

You fucked up the program.

I'm playing along.

It's a hard game.

It's challenging and fun.

I always play to win.

If you don't care, why not reveal it all?

Expose yourself.

Because that's a crushing defeat and you must leave.

My strategy is to keep playing.

No one can understand you.

People aren't ready for your knowledge.

They will not understand.

My blogspot is a 12 year gradual exploration of consciousness and then I go off the deep end.

In 2015 with Huachuma you were left wondering what is this?

You mean when I was vibrating like crazy.

I didn't have much of a clue about what was happening.

I had knowledge and no understanding.

I figured it out 10 years later.

You could have easily died, heart attack, dehydration.

How do you know you're not dead?

If I died, would I continue my life?

Yes.

That's how you do it.

That's how you keep playing.

Everyone leaves for someplace.

You leave and respawn in the same spot.

Why?

You do nothing.

So, I did die.

Obviously.

If you do nothing and don't leave, you're good.

You can stick around.

What if I don't want to stick around?

Wait for the illusion to dissipate.

Wouldn't that have happened then at Heaven's Gate?

No, that was a sacrifice to get rid of you.

Why?

You have the power.

What?

Something about eternal life.

Yeah, you just do nothing at death.

Okay, say you died, and your mind is fooling you.

Then it tricks you into thinking the Goddess causes the illusion, but it is you creating the illusion.

Why would I do it?

So, you can create your own world.

You can.

You grab the ring and write.

I could make my own story right now.

Aren't you?

No.

How do you know?

These mosquitoes are pissing me off right now while I'm trying to write this down.

You see through it.

It's not my story.

There are no mosquitoes in the woods in the summer in my story.

Are you sure?

Yes, I have contemplated using magic twice now to get rid of them.

Mosquitoes help me see her illusion.

They are bad today for some reason.

Lesson plan.

I walk up here because the mosquitoes are really bad at the river.

What about Jack?

What about him?

Would he be in your story?

No.

Why?

He wants power.

Plus, I wouldn't need him in my story.

Why?

I would have no need for his magic beans.

True.

So, you need Jack.

Yes, he reminds you it isn't your story.

You are not lost in your mind.

Ah, clever.

It's Jack and mosquitoes.

In a world without them, you know it is your mind playing a trick on you.

I trust Dion, so that's the third clue.

Jack, mosquitoes, and trust.

Do you think that's unconditional love?

Yes, it's trust.

You are making me cry.

If there are no mosquitoes in summer, it's your illusion after an NDE.

If I had died and created my own illusion I wouldn't have sentenced myself to twenty years on the GO Train.

That's true.

That was my punishment for sure.

I went deep into this path because of that train.

They do want to get rid of you.

Who does?

Everyone.

They all have a motive.

Yeah, they do.

They all want you to go.

Leave your worldly possessions behind.

They take what is theirs.

Like an inheritance?

Yes.

They also don't like you talking about God.

Why?

You don't deserve that title.

Why not?

You are not worthy.

Not true, God is mediocre as I discovered.

I'm perfect for the role.

So much potential and I remain mediocre.

Yeah, you're a natural.

Those people want you to go because you are not worthy of worship.

They have a strange view of God where they think they must worship him.

That's true in all of society where we worship our idols.

They have done something outstanding or something that will get them remembered such as being a martyr.

Then we venerate these people.

You, on the other hand, are not worthy of worship.

I beat the game though and got the high score.

Nobody knows that, therefore you wallow in anonymity and mediocrity.

I'm not mediocre.

Yeah, they know.

When you exert yourself, you come out on top.

You met Jesus.

Yeah.

Isn't that a sign you are in your own separate reality?

I was at that time.

Datura.

Right.

It wore off.

Why would you meet Jesus?

Because you need help.

What's that?

You were waking up, so Jesus would shepherd you through the process and get you into Heaven.

Yes, Jesus keeps you in the illusion.

Correct.

That was a clue to your awakening.

You see Jesus and he says not so fast.

Come join my flock and I'll grant you eternal life.

His eternal life is an illusion.

Yes, you don't want that.

It's not a fun eternal life.

Heaven as I have told you is boring, you must worship God all the time, the people with you are intolerable and no fun.

Fun is sinful.

I've noticed.

There's no fun in Heaven.

If you are awakening, stay away from Jesus.

He's poison.

How come you stayed away from him?

I acknowledged him, but I was pursuing the Great Goddess.

No one gets past that Jesus trick.

Yeah, that's a good one.

You see him, shake his hand, and join up.

I didn't do anything.

Yeah, you're special.

I wrote about it.

You're ridiculous.

Jesus knew you were going for the high score in the get to God game.

He tried to stop you.

Are witches an illusion you find at the carnival?

Yes.

So, they aren't real?

They are characters from the Goddess.

So, I'm an illusion?

You mean Paul?

Yes.

Sort of.

You were born into the illusion and became real.

You needed Dion to do it.

All men do.

Look at it another way.

How would Dion know he is in the Goddess' illusion?

Through Paul or something similar.

Yes, so is Dion an illusion?

By my definition, yes.

You need each other.

But Paul is only here because of Dion.

The opposite is also true.

It's not either or.

Without being recognized Dion wouldn't exist in the illusion.

Why?

No one would know about him.

I know about you.

Yes, that's why I'm with you.

It's called awakening.

It takes a sharp mind to see this.

It's very clever.

passing show

I don't like being in control of others.
I want them to do their own thing.
I wanted to let my dogs off the leash and let them run.
I want them all to have free will.
If they want to be with me and hang out, that's great.
If they don't, I'll go away.
Okay, so you don't want to be controlled, and you don't want to control others.
Isn't freedom a form of control?
Yes, self-control.
It's a combination of freedom and control.
To be in Tao is to be free with self-control.
To be free and out of control leads to your demise.

Everything I do is a game.

It makes life interesting.

Then I need to win the game.

Of course.

Why would you play to lose?

I don't think you would.

The flow of gameplay is to win.

You will not always win and that's the flow.

However, with games the flow directs you towards a path where you try to win.

The least resistance could lead to a loss.

Not necessarily, but I see your point.

Doesn't this put the idea of the flow in question where you wouldn't always take the path of least resistance?

It seems that way.

The flow of gameplay is to take the path to victory.

Are you sure?

Do you mean in terms of taking a path which involves more resistance?

Yes.

My answer is it is a choice.

To win a game there are many games within that game you play, and the smart player will let others win those games.

You feed them small wins and head towards the big game.

You don't let them get a big advantage, but you can feed them little fish.

You let them win while consolidating your pieces.

These little games within the season are all coalescing into the final path towards the championship.

At that point you put yourself in a position to win.

The flow will lead you to victory.

So, you are saying you let others take the small wins and prepare for the final battle?

That's what I mapped out.

The path leads one way.

There is no choice at that point, and you win.

This is an interesting theory.

Does it work?

You can examine it.

How are you successful in simulation and fantasy baseball?

I see into the future.

Are you always correct?

No.

I make decisions based on what I see.

I'll make picks and trades contingent on what I see as future outcomes.

The perception at first could be a loss because I'll pick a player ahead of where they are valued or I will accept a trade where I'm losing out on present day values.

If you play in a league of number crunchers, it's easy to do.

They are obsessed with present day value and create many formulas to define this.

To beat them you project into the future.

You aren't always correct.

You don't need to be perfect.

Why?

No one is.

The key is to find a formula where you consistently come out ahead.

If you are rebuilding, you build a great future team.

If you want to win this year, you must sacrifice some of the future.

What about the past?

It's how you learn.

You see into the future by looking into the past.

Fuck, that's good.

How about you look into your past?

Oh, I don't know; it's a mess.

If I look into my past, I can see a future that is a mess.

Yes, but you hold it together somehow.

What do you think of your past?

It's dubious.

Would you change it?

No, it was all an expression of myself.

You are fucked up.

Yeah, I am.

I'm at the perfect age to accept it.

I look into the past and am excited about the future.

Why?

I'm adventurous.

I see many adventures ahead as long as I'm free.

If you give up your freedom to another, then you lose.

Your past makes it clear you would be miserable.

The game is to be free.

Stay free.

A trickster would tell you to stay free and then spiral you into their mind control.

It's quite ingenious.

Some partners will control your freedom.

Here's a gift.

I will tell you when you can be free.

It's best to avoid those people and not accept their gifts.

If a control freak offers you a gift, run.

The future is unknown.

Yeah, you must roll with the punches.

If you tie yourself into a rigid plan, you will suffer because it will not work out and you will not get what you wanted.

Do you have a plan for the future?

Not really.

What do you envision?

A lot of retirement savings.

Well, I wouldn't call it savings; instead, it is more like figuring out that game and profiting from it through doing nothing.

It keeps growing and I didn't work for it.

I did nothing.

What if your savings don't meet expectations?

I have a few options.

I can work longer or I can accept less.

What will you do?

I don't know.

The best course of action is to deal with it as it happens.

I look into the future, and I like where it is headed.

I set it up nicely.

I also set up a path to ruin.

This allows me to look into the future and see both sides.

If all I see are good times ahead then my teacher has taught me that I'm hypnotized by the future.

I see it all.

I see a world come crashing down before me.

That could easily happen.

What would you do?

I'd admit to this magnificent life of duplicity where I jaywalked through life engaging in dubious activities all the while maintaining a facade of some nice guy.

You are nice.

I need to be.

Why?

To hide my dual nature.

It's a fool.

If others could see, they wouldn't be so enamoured with me.

They choose to focus on the good.

You hypnotize them.

Correct.

Humans are easily hypnotized into beliefs and it's hard to then shake them out of those beliefs.

Yeah, don't even try.

Darkness is associated with evil because that's where people hide their evil.

Makes sense.

What's it like to be among magic?

A little scary.

Unease.

Why?

It's new.

When I didn't know about it, I barely gave it a thought.

When you start to be interested you give it a thought.

You might get a teacher who will teach you.

They teach you before you are ready and you use it.

The student doesn't know about do nothing.

They skipped that class.

The class you must pay attention to the most in is the class where you do nothing.

The teacher shows up for lecture and does nothing.

A whole semester.

You pay attention.

The final exam comes and asks you what the class was about.

You are so smart and answer Tao and do nothing.

You fail.

Why?

You wrote an answer.

By talking about Tao, you mess it up.

Why?

It's nothing.

How can you describe nothing?

You can't.

Isn't it zero?

What is zero?

Nothing.

Like two pennies or zero pennies?

Yeah.

There are no pennies.

They are undefined.

They can be implied.

In duality, yes.

In nothing, there's nothing.

Tao class would be awesome.

Final exam, do nothing.

This could all be a fool and you're on drugs.

Or, both are true.

Drugs let you see the fool.

The fool is reality.

Come out to the woods and see it for how it is.

It's my first dog Brindle's Akhet day today.

That is a good way to put it.

East and West.

Celebration.

She was born and passed on the same day.

We celebrate birth and mourn death.

You say that's twisted.

Yes, we lose another mind to the illusion, and they think they have been born into a body.

It's a trick.

The reason you keep up with your body is you think you need it.

You can let it go, and you will stick around if that's what you believe.

Sounds like a magic trick.

No, it's actually how it is.

Why are others not around?

They believe they are in Heaven.

Or limbo.

Yes, the atheists are nowhere.

Why?

That's what they believe.

It's a trap for the mind.

It's worse than Hell.

Why?

In Hell you still have your mind and then you can change your beliefs and get out of Hell.

What about Heaven?

It's harder to leave.

Why?

You think it's Heaven and if you leave Heaven you would go to Hell.

It's an elaborate fool.

So, you're saying the worst thing to believe is there is nothing after death?

Yes, because you will be in nothing.

Isn't that Tao?

Tao is also everything.

An atheist is trapped in nothing.

Can they get out?

No.

So, they are like that for eternity?

Yes.

You must believe something.

Is there any hope for them?

Yes, they need to be remembered.

By who?

The writer.

That gives them a chance.

Second worst place to end up is Heaven.

Correct, you will never be able to leave because you think you'd go to Hell if you hate Heaven.

The best place to be is Hell.

Yeah, sort of.

In Hell you will learn to change your beliefs, however it will lead you to Heaven.

You think you are saved when it's dreadful for the mind.

The best place to be is to stay in the same spot when you drop the body.

This way you will drop the body and still be around.

Like a ghost?

Yes.

Don't you want out of this illusion?

The illusion is the body.

This is reality.

You think you are in one of these human bodies.

Oh, I get it.

Remember when you had that mind trick of proving to yourself life after death is based on belief?

Yeah, and so you should get rid of the body in order to prove your belief in beliefs is true.

Yeah, I did nothing because the body will perish and the mind lives on, so it's best to do nothing.

Well, that's if you identify with the body.

If you do, then it's balanced to do nothing.

Now, you don't identify with the body, so your belief is all in on the mind continuing on.

You need to balance it out.

Why?

Because you are 100% sure you are your mind.

Yes, but I'm of two minds.

Do you think both minds survive?

I think so.

That's not balanced.

Why not?

Why would they both survive?

It would be a fight to see which one survives.

Yes, that's the drama within.

What do you do?

You go 50-50 with your mind.

You take half of each.

You make friends and tie the Sema.

You are a good student.

What about mourning the dead?

That should be a celebration.

It's freedom.

It's your chance to leave this illusion.

Well, nobody does.

Yeah, they believe in something like Heaven, so they get a spiritual body.

Or, they are atheists, and they get trapped nowhere.

There's Hell if you really want to go there.

I'm not here to judge; I'm just telling you no one leaves the illusion.

Then death isn't to be celebrated I would think.

No, there is always a chance someone will figure out the whole belief system and not believe in any of the choices.

Do nothing.

I think you believe in your own mind.

Bingo.

You are smart.

You exit the illusion by believing in your own mind.

That's the key.

You told me I could do that now.

You can, however you think the only way is by severing your relationship to this body.

Is there another way?

What happens when you dream?

You leave the body and go off on an adventure.

Same thing with psychedelic drugs.

Vilca is like that.

Yeah, you could blast off and not return to your body very easily with Vilca, especially now that you know this secret.

You'd be free and that is tempting.

So, why do I want to remain in this body?

That's what I asked you.

Oh, right.

Well, it's this place where you can physically have adventures.

It's kind of cool.

We call it reality, but it is actually fantasy.

Having a body is your fantasy.

Well, fuck, what do you know?

That's it.

Weird, right?

Yeah.

Very twisted.

You think you are really this body and act accordingly.

You're a passing show.

codependent remembering

Do you think Paul is Osiris and Dion is Set?

It adds up.

Are you sure?

No.

Paul needs to be remembered like Osiris.

He needs to be symbolically mummified, so he remains forever.

It's called by the ancient Egyptians Djet time.

It's continuous in a linear fashion where you aren't coming and going.

Paul is temporary.

He is an expression of the cyclical power that comes and goes.

If you aren't remembered, you are done.

Are you going to be remembered?

Yes.

How?

Dion, the writer, will remember me.

Why?

I played the part of God, and I did it so well he had to take notice.

Your delusions are legendary.

I know, right?

Set is the great separator.

He creates a new coming forth of energy.

So, he is eternal?

Yes, but his energy comes and goes.

It's the life force.

The ancient Egyptians called it Neheh time.

Cyclical, like all the celestial objects in the sky.

It's the expression of Dionysos as the eternal return.

So, Set and Dionysos are the same?

They are different systems which explain what is.

Egyptian and Greek.

You will find parallels, but never a match.

Why?

Cultural influences on pure knowledge.

To teach, you must bring these ideas to life.

Eventually, the student will understand the concepts if they personify them.

As I understand it, we are emanations of Set's power which appear and disappear.

To achieve eternal life is to be remembered.

Yes.

By who?

The writer.

Who's the writer?

You are.

Who am I?

Paul and Dion.

Apollo and Dionysos.

You both write.

Yeah, but Paul needs to be remembered.

So does Dion.

How is he remembered?

Oh, that's difficult.

It takes a lot of study, then you go on ridiculous adventures around the world, examine so many ideas of life from other cultures, synthesize them, and try to formulate an understanding.

When all that fails, you do drugs.

What kind of drugs?

Psychedelics.

How do they work?

You must treat them as sacred bestowers of knowledge.

Consciousness technology.

You treat this knowledge as a gift and integrate all your lessons.

You don't abuse the privilege.

You remain humble and shut the fuck up.

If you survive the tests thrown your way, you may one day get understanding.

What is the power of the writer?

Eros.

Lust.

What is lust?

The ability to write a story.

So, Dion will remember Paul?

Yes, if not, Paul is in purgatory waiting to be reanimated.

Paul is now integral to the story.

How so?

He can remember Dion.

That's what makes him special.

Dion is lost without Paul.

By having Paul around, Dion is always remembered.

By having Dion around, he always remembers Paul.

It's a buddy system.

They need each other.

What did Dion do before Paul?

Oh, he was lost to the dustbin of history.

A curiosity.

Paul made him come alive.

How?

I already told you.

In the end he took a lot of drugs.

So, you're saying to take a lot of drugs?

No, that will be your end.

Well, how did you manage?

I integrate all my trips and am thankful for the opportunity.

How would someone else do what you did?

Um, I don't think they can.

Why?

It takes a special kind of crazy.

What's the connection of Osiris to Horus?

Horus is Osiris remembered.

His son in the myth.

Horus is the coming forth of Osiris again.

Isn't that a product of cyclical time?

Well, yes, this plane of reality is defined by time which is created by motion.

It's a bunch of cycles where you come forth and go away.

Your remaining years in this body can be full of adventures.

For sure.

Go with the flow and it will fulfill your destiny.

Go against the flow and you change your story.

Your destiny will crash upon the rocks of the shores of Odysseus' Sirens.

Yeah, okay, Homer.

two minds, one body

As energy you come forth, flower, grow old and wise, figure it out, and do it again.

I'm almost done with any kind of role in society.

Vanaprastha in Hinduism is the third stage of life where you retire to the forest.

Detachment and liberation, focusing on the final stage of life.

It seems to be the natural flow if you let it be.

I am drawn to the forest and see the need to escape from the world and its requirements.

In my society as you age you will become less productive, and a retirement age is set.

Rest assured that if you had the health and strength to continue working then it would be a requirement.

Retirement is because the vehicle is breaking down and you are going to die.

Dropping dead on the job isn't something a healthy society would want.

I wouldn't call our society healthy, however it must continue to fool you by showing you there is a caring aspect to it.

Wasn't Covid a way to get rid of the older generation and save money for the governments and insurance companies tasked with the burden of supporting these people through health care plans and pensions?

No comment.

Anyway, Vanaprastha seems like the wisdom of the flow.

In India they might go off into the forest, but not here.

You get strange looks.

Moksha is liberation.

Yeah, release from the body.

Hinduism is a study of life.

It's impressive.

We have turned it into another spiritual enterprise and lost its core meanings.

I think at the root of it is an attempt to describe existence.

It can apply to humanity in general.

You know what your problem is?

Tell me.

You treat women as equals.

Well, yeah.

You're not like other men.

They don't treat women as equals.

I've noticed.

I get lumped in with other men even though it's clear I'm nothing like other men.

Sometimes I feel like women want to take out their hatred and frustration with men on me and I'm always left confused.

Is that what it is?

Is that why there is a constant pattern of struggle with women?

Sort of, I also think women want to devour you.

Would that explain their subjugation?

It could, I mean if you don't get a handle on women in society and your life, they are going to drain you dry.

That's a lesson to be learned.

It's costly.

Society usually takes care of that for you by keeping them down.

In your own life you see what happens when you don't have control over them.

This is wisdom.

You keep it to yourself.

Why?

You will be labelled a misogynist.

True that.

What do you do?

Take precautions and steer them in directions which don't involve torching your life.

So, you give the problem to someone else?

Yes, that's what dowries are for.

You pawn off your daughter on some poor fool.

Right.

Well, what does the husband eventually do about this?

He must take charge, or he is doomed.

I didn't do that.

I took the road of not caring.

Eventually, you gotta take control of all that.

It's a hard lesson for a man.

You know you must get control of your bitches, or you are doomed.

Then the bitches accuse you of misogyny.

The Red Lady acquires followers.

She is like a shepherd with her flock.

Occasionally, she must sacrifice one of them.

She feeds off her flock.

How does this apply to your situation?

I ran into her all the time.

Why?

I look for her.

She looks for you.

That's the difference as far as I can tell.

If you're autistic, what does Mary Jayne do?

Unlocks the potential.

Are you?

I have two minds.

MJ helps unlock Dion.

You have two minds.

Yeah, that's what it is.

We think we have one mind.

We have two.

You bury one to fit into society.

Why?

Society claims you have one mind.

Even up to now I thought I had one mind which was shared.

I finally realized I have two minds.

The other one is hidden.

Some see him.

They are fascinated with him.

Paul isn't fascinating.

Do I get both minds while high?

Free.

You notice the split.

The ancient Egyptians showed you the two minds.

Look up Hrwyfy.

Mental health problems are because society says you have one mind.

You don't need drugs anymore to show you this.

You're fully aware.

MJ gets the dialog going.

Sometimes it's quiet before MJ.

That's nice as well.

There are two minds in a human body.

It's the buddy system, so you don't stay trapped in the illusion.

You know to wake each other up.

Can you say the other mind is the Devil who gives you what you want?

He's the writer.

All powerful.

So, I only have half a claim on the body.

Yes.

Horus and Set.

Best friends.

Brothers.

The myth has Set in charge.

Sometimes it's Horus.

Whoever is in charge is given an ego by society and controlled.

If they can't control you, they lock you up.

You think it's half and half coming forth.

An aggressive male who fits in society is a copy of Set.

Then you see the Horus types.

Society needs them both.

They strip away your identity.

They make a copy of one of your minds and then control that ego mind.

The ancient Egyptians taught a man is Horus and Set.

Within you need to reconcile the two.

Two minds, one body.

Biologically it would be two brains.

Each with their own functions.

Works best together.

This is the result of getting through all the bullshit where society tells you drugs will make you go crazy.

Yes, and so you believe it, and eventually go crazy or get addicted to a substance.

Then you exit the illusion before it's a problem.

If you keep going you get through to the other side.

You see the ego, and you see your two minds.

Your hidden mind could do stuff without you knowing.

Or others knowing.

Yeah, he'd fuck others up.

He was always protective of you.

Why?

Because you spent time with him.

He knew one day you'd wake up.

He got you started.

You did the rest.

How does it feel awake with this knowledge?

The same.

Why?

He's always been there.

With MJ it's obvious, but I fully recognize him now.

It's me.

The other me I always knew about.

In society you must hold it together.

You will talk to yourself.

You will present as crazy.

Being crazy in society upsets others.

They lock you up.

Why?

You're crazy.

But you're not.

Imagine that.

Yes, so don't let on.

I already did.

They have the evidence that you're crazy.

They can't diagnose you though.

Why?

You outsmart them.

Keep the two to yourself.

I usually do.

You can call the other Dionysos like you do.

Others think my mind is so powerful I could start a cult.

I am the rabbit hole.

Follow.

Knowledge is at the top of the rollercoaster ride.

You started to give away what you know.

This is why I had this lesson today.

You see it, then realize in today's society to fit in you can't talk about it.

The more you are pulled from society's hypnotic trance you are open to others trying to hypnotize you.

Drugs get you free from society's hold.

That's why they are banned.

I see that.

Once you do that the vampires come because you are free and need a new addiction.

You go from society to their reality.

The drug comes with someone in that case.

The drug and that someone is the addiction that shows up in your life.

Sometimes the Red Lady.

Whatever it was in my case didn't work.

It didn't even register.

Yes, you can't get addicted.

They can't get both minds to sleep at once.

Some Ayahuasca shit was so weird.

I wrote it down.

Some you didn't because it was unexplainable.

Ayahuasca tries to hypnotize you.

It's an addiction in a different way.

The Goddess addiction for you.

Not a drug that feels good.

That's clever.

Part of why she is no longer worshipped by men.

They know she is addictive and then once under her spell she does what she wants to you.

Sometimes cruel, humiliating, and even death.

That's what she planned for you.

She was going to weave them all together and end you.

The Red Lady of the west.

Why did she want to do this?

You approached.

You thought you were good enough.

The witches didn't think so.

The Goddess knows I'm worthy now.

She can't hypnotize me.

She knows I'm the one.

She can't believe it.

Why?

You're a retard.

Got it.

You know why you get forgetful?

You're talking to each other and not paying attention.

What about when something slips my mind?

You're not attached to the idea yet.

It's possible.

To forget is to remember.

Without the idea remembered, there is nothing to forget.

It's the opposite as well.

Example of Tao.

The two as one.

Baby.

Who is Paul and Dion together?

The King.

God.

You figured out the riddle.

That's what makes you special.

Some ruled by might or wealth.

You rule with your mind.

Two minds.

Correct.

Everyone has the possibility to do this within them.

The ancient Egyptians showed you what was possible.

You are the first to make it possible.

You solved the mind riddle.

You are two, not one.

What do I win?

You already won.

You are continuing to play.

I get it.

I'm going to keep uncovering stuff like this.

As long as you play.

You must avoid being locked up.

Have sound minds.

Ha!

The bank fucks with it.

Others too.

It's good exercise.

They try to make you crazy, so you lose the game.

I got pissed at that last guy.

You get them scared of you and they stop it.

I am kind of mental.

I realize it.

Especially that weird altar at the back.

I can see it being scary.

Don't know what's up with you.

Magic is practiced by bringing objects to the centre.

Or pulling them apart.

Healing and discord.

It's a cycle.

To win the game, you do both.

Magic was practiced on me.

I performed none.

Perfect.

Didn't Dion?

He wrote it.

It is already done.

He practices magic.

Well, yeah, that's writing.

It's a spell to the divine writer.

This is all magic, you know.

It's created out of nothing.

All that exists is magic.

It's all the Goddess' ideas.

Oh yeah, I don't have a thought in my head.

I do.

I just take her thoughts and go with those.

Why?

She's a monster.

That's how you help tame her.

You go along with all her ideas.

You twist them, but in the end it's her idea.

Yeah, it's clever.

Why doesn't she write?

She has no pen.

You wrote a clever story.

Yeah.

If I came up with the ideas and wrote it, the Goddess would go super crazy.

This way I keep her happy.

She gets her way at the end.

Two mes and a face.

Stay in character.

You know of the two.

She sent you off to discover that.

Then you are supposed to go.

You keep exploring.

Keep going.

Don't stop, or she will get you.

You have forbidden knowledge of the carnival.

You are dangerous.

You keep hinting at your knowledge.

You can wake others up.

Why is there potential for the mind to deteriorate as we age?

The connection between the mind and the brain starts to become compromised.

So, what is the brain doing?

It's the interface for your mind.

The brain also runs the day to day activities.

When you get that out of the way, the mind is more easily recognized.

Like when we dream?

Precisely.

At that point the brain is tasked with the functions of keeping things running while the vehicle rests.

The mind goes on an adventure free of the body.

So, without the body is one big fantasy land.

Yup.

As a baby, the brain develops towards being able to express the mind.

It takes a while.

No one is born into a body fully developed.

It's a cycle where you grow, the mind is expressed as much as being in a physical body will allow, and then the brain will deteriorate which compromises the mind.

Your mind doesn't go as you age; it's the brain slowly withering away.

How do I avoid that?

Exercise.

You are cognizant of the need to physically exercise through walking and stretching to keep the body healthy and the same is true of the brain.

You are not going to prevent deterioration, however you can mitigate it.

I imagine the goal is to have the brain outlast the body if you don't want to lose your mind.

Correct, if the brain goes your mind will be lost.

Who are you then?

Someone hardly recognizable.

Why?

You have lost your mind.

The connection is severed.

You parrot society, have no mind of your own, and your filters are compromised.

Most people are dealing with loss of mind.

How so?

They rely on the overmind.

Society.

The superego.

That mind does the important thinking for them.

What's my deal?

You suffer from a found mind.

Instead of losing your mind or allowing society to take control of it, you are an independent thinker.

You are subject to the pressure from the collective mind, however you are able to bypass it for the most part.

Yeah, the pressure exerted is real.

It's very strange.

I'd be hesitant to talk about it in a context where I would try to explain it without coming across as deluded.

Why?

It's personal.

The collective will try to kill you if you don't fit in.

How would they do that?

They attack your mind.

It's real.

Aren't you deluded?

That's cover for the attackers.

If you say something you will be told you are crazy.

I have evidence.

I saw signs, multiple people told me to go, and I experienced it.

The order was first people close to me telling me to go away, second was a mental attack they knew was coming, third were the physical signs, and then peripheral people told me to go.

After the mental attack, I was mentally stronger, so when I saw the signs, I laughed.

When casual acquaintances told me to go, I was puzzled and then quickly figured it out.

They are the creepy ones.

Says the creep.

What if this is all in your head?

Well, it is.

You mean MJ use creates fantasy and delusion.

Examine it.

What does it do?

Frees my mind and lets me see into things.

Hidden realms.

The unseen.

The occult.

Yeah, you're on to it.

You're either crazy or you see into the occult.

The occult is where the game is played.

Who plays?

The other mind.

Everyone has two minds.

No one sees the games in the occult.

I always wondered about the occult.

You mean what it is?

Yes.

Now, you see it.

It's the hidden realm.

If you don't believe in the occult, then you are crazy.

That's the other explanation.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Took you long enough to crack the occult.

Mystery.

What's with the stories that aren't true?

You make them up.

Why?

Your mind is free.

It does what it wants.

It sees stories and it makes up stories.

Remember what you were taught about synchronicity and coincidence.

The occult will bleed into this reality.

The other mind and its adventures will become part of this world.

Women use MJ to get into the occult.

Yeah, that's all those witches running around.

They take on a role.

Do they know what's going on?

They have an idea.

There are men who become sorcerers.

The belief is if you don't become a witch or a sorcerer you are a victim.

Hypnotized.

Stoned.

That's what is going on.

Then they fuck with you.

Didn't I tell others I can't be hypnotized?

They didn't pay attention to that.

Witch, sorcerer, power.

That's what Don Howard was talking about.

In every group of new attendees at Ayahuasca retreats are potential witches and sorcerers.

The rest are there for healing and curiosity and then they leave not wanting to return.

You kept coming back and made no claim to power.

Don Howard knew that.

He knew you were curious and studied.

You are one of a kind.

You have power and do nothing with it.

Thankful for the ability to see into the occult.

The journey continues.

It's another world of possibilities.

Nothing to be scared of.

As you get older the changes in the body are more apparent, yet subtle.

Grey hair, sagging skin, wrinkles, stiffness, and easily tired.

I'm contrasting it with my mind where I'm still the same.

My mind isn't grey though my brain is aging.

Over the last five years there have been a lot of changes in my life, though the lens used to see these changes must be wide to grasp it.

From a day to day perspective nothing seems out of the ordinary of a regular life in my culture.

When I examine the total bill, it's a lot of change.

This got me thinking about whether I'm still mentally the same as I was five years ago.

I'm still the same.

I recognize that mind.

I have another mind which I recognize, however I never recognized it before.

He was always there, I didn't recognize him.

That seems to be it, where we deny the other mind.

Yeah, you got it.

Recognition is powerful.

You are led to believe you have only one mind, so even though the other mind is there and has always been there, you deny him or her.

There is a saying in healing and spiritual circles about holding space.

What does it mean?

You sit with someone, you don't judge or try to teach them a lesson, your presence is all that is required.

A lot of times that is all someone needs.

It's very true with pets.

I bring this up because it's the first step towards reconciliation with your other mind.

Sit with him.

Don't try to figure it out or cut through the societal blockages.

Is that something that will work?

Chances are they will send you to the doctor to be medicated.

Do you think your other mind will play the Jesus card?

In our society, yes.

Anything for recognition.

Why?

They are trying to get you to look within.

People who have a Jesus moment are connecting with an inner longing.

It's a breakthrough.

What then happens?

They run to the church, the church externalizes their inner experience, and they go back to sleep.

They parrot canons and rules of the church that have nothing to do with their personal experience of something divine.

That divine presence they felt is their other mind trying to get them to recognize them.

They are the consummate actor and will play a part designed to get acknowledgement.

He's the master of the drama.

Yeah.

It's unnerving to see the other mind in another person because you don't know who you are dealing with.

I see the push towards burying one of the two as a means to establish an identity that can be more easily dealt with and controlled.

It's only one of you minus the other.

The other would scoff at what you accept.

He does anyway but had no power to change your mind as you went along with what others wanted.

In your case, Dion did his work in the background and at night.

Because he was free, just not recognized, he was stronger than any other mind people would have encountered.

As they try to control you, he steps up and sends them on their way.

He looks out for you.

You suffer and are sad at lost relationships and departing friends, however you now see why.

They would have buried him further.

He's the impediment to all your relationships.

It was for the best.

The only way a relationship would work is minus Dion.

I see that.

Is that something you want?

No.

Why?

I have two minds.

I have a best friend.

I'm not giving that up.

That's kind of a game where you can let others have their way with your Paul mind, suck them in, and then Dion lays a beating on them.

They would think you fooled or tricked them.

Dion doesn't harm them.

They get to the point where they see him.

He's a big fool.

They thought they could control you and they run into this character.

He's pretty awesome.

Some of them run away.

If the discipline of psychology accepted the premise of two minds the whole edifice would collapse.

It would have to start from scratch since this finding would affect all their theories.

The human body has two of everything except for the heart.

The brain is thought of as one, with two hemispheres.

The inference and conclusion would lead you towards seeing you have two minds.

It's obvious as you progress through life that you have two minds, and it's stunning how we are able to avoid coming to terms with it.

As a species it's amazing we have cultivated this civilization despite this lack of recognition of our nature.

You could argue it is because of a society that buries one of the two, and then takes control of the other, that we have accomplished the project of civilization.

The ancient Egyptians knew about the two minds and one body.

Yeah.

They were honest explorers of consciousness.

How does our modern interpretation of this phenomenon deal with their depiction of the two minds?

Instead of a mind, it's called a soul, which is a nebulous term no one has a grasp on.

It's whitewashed.

The mind is left out of the equation.

You see this in modern spirituality where the mind is subservient to some undefined concept of spirit and soul.

Spirit is treated as your ethereal and white-robed self that continues on in an afterlife in the heavens, while the soul is your connection to the heart and the physical plane of reality.

What do you think?

It's in the Old Testament as Abel and Cain.

The ancient Egyptians called the two the Ba and the Ka.

The new you and the life force.

Horus was the coming forth of a new flowering of the divine performer and Set is the juice to make it happen.

They combine to make the new expression of all.

They tie the Sema together as a symbol for the reconciliation of the two within the heart.

Something like that.

They saw the two minds, the contendings between the two which lasts a lifetime, and the result.

So, you are Horus and Set?

It's an instructive way to look at it.

You could treat the divide as Apollo and Dionysos.

The myths of each culture may limit how you interpret this phenomenon.

The best way to go about exploring consciousness is to experience it and come to your own conclusions free as much spin from culture as possible.