Monday, August 27, 2018

dream big

A dream is a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep. Check out the language spell here as this is how the opposite of dream is described:


Our dreams, in an overarching way, are giving us a clue; a clue to our existence. I don't exactly know what but I intuit some connection between our dreams and the nature of our own reality. It is like there is a dreamcaster who has put the one consciousness to sleep and this universe is the simultaneous dream of consciousness manifesting at different points unawares of the mental aspect of this existence. These are the cascading of successive dreams. In the same way our fairy tales of sleeping beauty, princes, magic, and rescuing princesses must be alluding this situation or our motivation to seek answers.

Dreams I'd have to say are not at all frivolous though the contents at first glance can be considered as such. I had one such dream about a month before I left for South America last fall where I woke from it and it was very vivid in my memory. I went to the bathroom and I thought what a strange dream; this really is disconnected from me. It only took about a minute until I realized what it meant. Here's the dream: I was at a train station waiting for a train. There was a small lake at the back of the station and I heard rumours of a drowning. I saw a little girl walking towards me as I went to investigate at the lake. She looked lost and then I heard her mother had presumably drowned in the lake. As I approached the lake I witnessed a rescue crew saving a man and his dog from drowning. The dog, which was a golden retriever, knocked one of the rescuers into the lake in his exuberance as he got in the boat. The rescuer hung on and pulled himself back in. It was amusing. I then woke up.

So after thinking for a brief time about this dream I realized the little girl was my heart. The mother of my heart drowned with the water being a symbol for a return to the lower world. The dream took place on dry land which symbolizes the middle world which is where we are. So my heart has been left on its own. The man and his dog that were rescued from drowning is clearly me and my loyal companion. It's my attachment to the mysteries of the lower world that this was symbolizing. The mother had returned to the lower world and I went in after her which left my heart vulnerable. I've been shown in visions my attachment to this dark lower world. If I wish to do the final ascent up the mountain to the peak I must not follow the mother back into the lower world however inviting it is. My heart and I must continue up the mountain without the mother. She remains behind. I got the message a few months before planning the trip my time with Ayahuasca had run its course and I should not go back to the Amazon to partake in anymore ceremonies for the time being. I went back to be in ceremony and sit with Huachuma, which is an upper world, energy of the masculine mountains, type of plant medicine. So in a way the dream was telling me I'm on my own for this one and also that I will try to go back and cling to the lower world and the mother. There's a chance if I do that I'll drown which is a metaphor for getting stuck in that region again. The train station is connected back to an Ayahuasca ceremony where a dark masculine power told me that if I didn't follow the 'correct' path I would walk in front of a train. So there's an element of danger here as well as a symbol of the journey coming to an abrupt end.

The part of the brain which connects with consciousness and is responsible for the dreaming is really marvellous. Another dream I had recently was very vivid and real. It was so convincing. It is magic. The dreamcaster was seamlessly weaving events and memories to create an incredible storyline that I fell for and totally bought into. I was in South America and went to some Ayahuasca retreat that had been recommended as an alternative to SpiritQuest. The grounds were tranquil and the people I met were of the ilk I'd expect; there was a new age feeling to it. Even the owner or facilitator who was walking around played his part impeccably where he would be talking to himself and whistling in a non threatening and slightly off way. The guy I was talking to had this annoying tendency to take every concept or object I mentioned in conversation and correcting my terminology to fit his lingo. Finally when I said shaman he corrected it to 'roncaster' and this annoyed me to the point where the dream halted and at that point I woke up, it was about 3am, and I totally remembered all the details of the dream. I have had a few like that over the past year and they keep getting more and more impressive. Equally impressive was a dream where I drank Huachuma and felt the effects of it in my dream; that was truly masterful. It is incredible how the dreamcaster can take an element from my consciousness and weave it into the story. They keep getting better and better at it. Beforehand something in a dream would happen that didn't add up and it would give the show away.

Then in my waking state there is the curious case of the appearance of a big brown owl one night in the woods in mid February. On don Howard's Huachuma Mesa is this big brown owl and during one of the November mesada ceremonies, called the singado, you inhale this liquid which puts you in a trance state. Don Howard tells you to approach an object on the Mesa that is attracting you so I went to the big brown owl at the back.

That owl came alive, it would slowly blink its eyelids, and then its face transformed into the Goddess. Obviously I did not take this connection to heart though I have noticed a connection with seeing owls and my plant medicine journeys. So anyway I saw the owl in the woods and the next day I heard don Howard had cancelled a bunch of retreats. The owl had come to me to tell me he was very sick. This connects to a very vivid dream I had while at SpiritQuest where this woman told me he was very sick. In the dream I was like no I just saw him, he's fine. Curiously this dream had occurred the night after the singado ceremony at SpiritQuest. Sometimes I am slow on the uptake but I do get it eventually.

My life is some kind of a dream; a dream where I wipe away my knowledge and start from scratch and try to uncover the mystery. The mystery is her. Go get lost and see if I can find her and see if she can wake me up. I’ve come close a couple times and she has tried to lead me away from my delusion of believing I am the character I play and then she tried an erotic gambit so that the culmination would lead to a breaking of the spell. I subconsciously pulled out of that one. I think she is done with the game and longs to be reunited. I guess I’m stubborn and wanted to do it on my terms. I’m pretty sure this is the eternal game. It’s a really good game; the only way I have been able to see through it is because of my contrarian nature: why the denigration of the feminine? Why all these masculine spiritual pursuits? They all are subterfuge.

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