finding balance

The jaguar is the ultimate representative of the life force power. The visual expression of the energy is stunning. The beauty, strength, and savageness are on full display. The manifestation of the pure power is realized in the wild state. The domestication and cultivation of the power allows for nuance, growth, and feats of incredible achievements. Deep down, the power wants to be free to express itself and in controlled societies that results in periodic outbreaks of uncontrollable wild abandon. Sometimes we say one has gone crazy.

Balance comes to mind. One can stay cultured and acceptable for only so long before the dam breaks and the jaguar within wants out. There becomes a need to recognize and befriend this state. There is a pull within all to become free and let loose. It is awesome and is what you seek. I can feel it within and how it animates all. This is it; it is what you wanted to discover. It’s the Great Spirit. It comes forth as the jaguar, powered by the serpent. It’s the harmony of feminine and masculine to produce conscious power capable of constant transformational magic.

 

We are all expressions of the power; every single living thing. Everything has spirit. Life could be thought of as an experiment where free will is observed in the situational embodiment of conscious energy and the wonder is in how it is used. The masculine wants to push forward, achieve, accomplish, and win. This involves building and destroying, amidst a show of strength and ferocity. The feminine wants to create community, unity, and family structures. She wishes to express the power through creativity and the arts. Her potency is a check on her masculine counterpart through love and inclusiveness as opposed to individuality and competition. The two as one makes for harmony while balancing each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Left alone, each polarity refines into a greater expression of its dominant traits. In the case of the male, it is the warrior intent upon world domination at the expense of all. This darkness is within us all. Look within and you will see it and you will see the need for harmony and balance. A reconciliation involves finding your soul mate. We are agents of destruction, both outwardly and the self. When we are shown love, the power flowers.

 

There is a need to first reconcile within and afterwards the recognition and mitigation of the duality of each lighthouse of power. Subsequently, one is ready to harmonize with the outward expression of this power. Why do most relationships fail? Look within for the reason. We are not whole beings as of yet though we go in search of a partner who will make us whole. That only works once we have dealt with our own shit.

 

There is a need for deep soul work and a need for the reconciliation of opposites in order to live within the centre/heart space but to get to that place involves a balance within of the contending polarities. Before the coming together of the feminine and the masculine, each side has to get its act together. It's mythicized in ancient Egypt as the constant fighting between Horus and Set and within that story are homosexual elements that symbolize a union of masculine traits that mitigate the destructive tendencies and weaknesses found within masculine archetypes. It’s a tough sell to discuss in our culture as we view this behaviour as deviant as opposed to being symbolic. In western culture, a real man ain’t no sissy; he’s alpha and definitely no cuck or soy boy, has no feelings, and never backs down. In a culture that ritually celebrated this behaviour, the answer becomes obvious and so empowering.

 

I have written about this before and these concepts were realized and practiced by the great quariwarmi shamans of the Andes. I write about it again because of constant insights into its nature and seeing this process unfold within. In pre-Colombian Andean cosmology, each polarity would be first mediated towards the centre starting with the reconciliation of the same gendered complementary opposites found within. Disharmony between these worlds leads to confusion. Sacred performances involving cross dressing males, called ipas, were ritually performed in order to mitigate the male tendency towards judgment and destruction. The masculine force, sufficiently tamed, would be prepared to be symbolically united with the opposing feminine force that has been similarly tamed in a holistic process called tinkuy. The successful reconstruction of the respective gendered poles leads to the mediation of the feminine and the masculine polarities, a process called yanantin, with the result a perfect harmony called the conocimiento. This balancing act and subsequent joining together of the opposing forces ritually recreate the original androgyne along a central axis, bisecting the feminine and masculine polarities, which in turn unlocks and radiates unconditional cosmic love and demonstrates this union is the origin of all there is and is represented in ritual and symbol as the mediated third gendered hermaphrodite. It is the union of the feminine and masculine powers which reconstitutes the all. It’s the cultivation of the human to reclaim a cosmic destiny. It’s taking the wild grape within nature and creating a dual sexed and self-pollinating plant that I have discussed before which is the essence of the mystery of the great Dionysos. I directly experience this voyage of the harmonization of the energy. I am not even sure where I am on the path but I sure do feel this power. It courses through me and at times it is magical. I’m engaged in slowing down, calming the mind, and becoming conscious of this power. Eliminating distractions, whether that be forced through the aging process or mindfulness, brings you into communion with this power. It’s magical and can transform into many expressions.

 

The power of the Huachuma mesa involves this balance and reconciliation. Lighting it all up, getting quiet, and just listening. Being present. Feeling the power of the serpent ripple through my body in waves and admiring the jaguar and its wild and ferocious display of coursing natural power. If nature was going to design the ultimate expression of the force that animates all in the universe then the jaguar is it.

 

I smiled knowingly as the knowledge slowly caressed me and allowed me to understand what it was I was feeling. I pictured the undulating serpentine nature of the Goddess come forth as a serpent and profoundly realized that our existence is a vibration and the path of the serpent’s body represents the pulsation that defines the reality of that vibration. This path is travelled by the jaguar, whose wild energy and abandon lights up the track and allows for the experience of what it is the vibration has created.

 

When you pass the challenges of life, embrace the undulations of the serpent, and rise up in strength, the jaguar comes. Balance is at your doorstep. Welcome to the Order of the Jaguar.

full admission

Continuing on with what I wrote about last week, I’m going to be forthright and come off as maybe deluded and crazy however this is the truth of the situation. This is what has happened to me and continues to occur on a regular basis. I got trolled again this morning by my subconscious. Well, not really a troll, but one of those coincidences that is too contrived to think it is a random happenstance and I know from past experiences that my subconscious can manipulate events so that the outcome lines up in a way that is serendipitous. I think this goes back to the assertion that I’m mad but in a healthy and good way. I’m pretty low-key and have it all together on the outside so nobody suspects anything is going on.

I remember when I first went to Peru and drank Ayahuasca. I was an easy mark who tended to avoid confrontation. The darkness within went into full on attack mode in order to leave me dazed and to send me home, never to return. Just live out your life, don’t change anything, and don’t come back. Do not disturb. When I left the jungle, I started hearing voices in my head. Okay, not voices but just one voice. It scared the shit out of me and it went on for three days. No sleep and I was on the verge of psychosis it was that unnerving. Seven years later I know what it was. It was me. The part of me I bury in the subconscious that occasionally rises up to the surface. I know him pretty well now. He was just trolling me and asserting dominance. He kept at it in the background for months leading to this situation where he’d wake me every night at the exact same time and harass me. 1:10 am wakeup call. I couldn’t get back to sleep and I was a wreck after five nights of this. Eventually, I asked my muse the Goddess, for help after I went into a full-on panic attack for the first time in my life and she helped me out of this hole. My relationship with the feminine divine is the single most important bond in my life. Her power saved me from what it was I faced. She is always present, ready to offer protection, guidance, and wisdom. All I have to do is ask. I know it sounds religious! It’s why I can’t get sucked into the beliefs of others. My belief in a personal goddess is unshakeable. Anyway, I started making changes in my life and the darkness accosted me again a few months later and I went into another panic attack but I came out swinging and fought back. I resolved to get the best of him and defeat him. I then spent two and a half years with the upper hand and used a hammer to beat him into submission. I wasn’t aware I had that strength and neither did my dark side.

 

Eventually, I went back to Peru and once again faced him directly. What balls! The first experience was designed so I’d run away and not come back; never to peer into the darkness again. Why did I go back? I didn’t want to live out my life a coward. I knew somewhere I had courage to muster and so I came back for round two. He came out swinging and I took all the punches. He threatened me with death if I didn’t give in to his wishes. I stood my ground and said kill me if you must. I earned a lot of respect that night.

 

I'm the biggest and baddest motherfucker on the planet. How do I know that? It’s because my subconscious wanted to destroy me because no one takes on that aspect of themselves when it has decided to stomp you out of existence and comes out of it alive, all in one piece. I really should be a cowering basket case and exhibit ‘A' in regards to the use of psychedelics. Who knows what lurks within? I won and for that I got mucho respect. My relationship with my dark side is what you could call a truce with steps towards a working agreement. He knows my weaknesses because they are me and he is me. Predilections is a better word for it. He constantly shows me what he is capable of. It’s astounding in that he transcends time and can manipulate events to work out how he so chooses.

 

On this path, you are warned about power and its seduction. I see clearly how it works: you are shown the strength and dominance of the darkness within. It floors you with an uppercut and beats you into submission. Afterwards, the subconscious force offers you power in exchange for fealty as there is a price to pay for your new-found power. Look at the powerful in the world and see it. See the depravity at the base of it. The last two years of world history have been a course in what the result of giving power to humans manifests. There is a price to pay for power. In the end, you end up using your power to feed off of others, mostly in a way that is subtle where you take advantage of and manipulate them. Meanwhile, the Goddess is busy teaching you that you are the others; we are all one. Don’t do it! I look back now and see how this was to play out. I got hammered and subsequently in a malleable position was offered a ton of power. I declined. I was harassed afterwards until finally I fought back and later had the gumption to return and face up to it all. Not only that but after being offered power again, I declined and kept my freedom.

 

I don’t think the subconscious is malevolent. I think it is in a way proving a point in that we are all weak and will take the road to power, fame, fortune, and glory if offered the chance. We will self-aggrandize at the expense of others, forgetting we are one. Ultimately, that is the lesson to learn in that to objectify others as separate from yourself is what causes suffering and also allows you to amass power. We will sell out whomever and whatever for this opportunity. I don’t want to glorify myself. I did decline the offer of power and said I’m looking for a paradigm of love and was not interested in those worldly powers. If I do acquire fame and fortune, I will do it through my own accord and use it to give back. Those are my intentions and have always been my intentions.

 

I am intrigued with the darkness, as it is me. The relationship is now much different and he knows I’m a jaguar and have the serpent on my side. I have wondered if he misread me? Would he have attacked as he did, if he knew I’d fight back and win? He didn’t see the jaguar hidden within nor the serpent woman at my side ready to strike. I now know of his power and I think we can strike a deal in order to liberate the mind and to help heal the world.

garden of the mind

The garden of the mind needs to be cultivated. We are given the opportunity to freely allow all ideas, concepts, feelings, and the like into the mind and some resonate with us more strongly than others. It is indeed our karmic predicament. In that regard, it is healthy to expose oneself to as many disparate ideas as possible. Free will is given to us so that we may work out what we ultimately came into this incarnation to discover. Whether that is a psychic disturbance or a need to fill this vessel up with love so be it and henceforth follow that path wherever it may take us. Within this garden, we can water and nourish what we choose. Ultimately, what flowers is character and the beauty of it is representative of what you have chosen.

My mind contains my core beliefs and the past few weeks have been a good reminder of beliefs. Belief is the flexible backbone upon which truth rests. Change your mind, change your beliefs, and you can change the truth. On a global scale, the tipping point is getting enough worldwide currency in a belief which will bring it to life. This transforms the belief from a solitary and deluded individual belief into a consensus belief. Case in point: religion. I keep seeing people gravitating towards Christianity and in this time of a pandemic, people have resorted to prayer and appealing to a higher power. It works for them despite all efforts of reason. Why does it work? It has to do with belief. It’s the most powerful force of all and trumps truth, as truth is dependent upon beliefs. Not only that, but as I have written about, your dark side desperately wants to remain hidden and will do whatever it can to stay that way, even if it means acting as if they are god. The supreme actor within will play the part in order to steer you towards heading down the path of culturally sanctioned religion because it stops you cold. You go seeking answers and become dangerous, so your gaze is deflected. You may have a religious experience, vision, or epiphany. It works all the time! The trappings of culture are foolproof. I had one but I’m a hold out. It didn’t work. It was funny this morning because at the bus shelter was left some religious material on the bench. I have been told there are no coincidences and this was one of the contrived happenings; once again playing with the rational mind. I wonder if there is a turning point where instead of tricks and trying to scare me there will be just acceptance by my dark side that I know the game? I know the joker within and his twisted comedic skills. I felt this once again when I saw this Christian book waiting for me. He knows I’m not going to fall for it but puts it out there as a subtle reminder every once in a while. C’mon man you’ve met Jesus! You also had a dream about him where you were being forced to accept him into your life. The deep dark subconscious is exceptionally strong and I have peered into it and stood my ground. I’d like to think that eventually on the path there is reconciliation; I mean there has to be because the old paradigm is no longer in play. I sit out in the forest and the trees come alive and I see the face of my dark side. I’m not scared; only slightly amused.

 

The Great Spirit has a sense of humour. My strength was tested along this journey and at first, I was massively frightened and chased away, all the way back home to a sense of bewilderment. It was a catastrophic foray into the darkness of self. Perseverance, curiosity, resolve, and courage, all mixed in with a little naivety and stupidity allowed me to continue on in this quest. In a strange way, I was rewarded and let in on the secret. My relationship with my dark side is now one of being trolled. I’m chided for my foibles. I’m tested and shown I’m not at expert level. I have actual proof now I have been trolled by my subconscious. I can’t really go into details but it happened. This trolling is ever present in dreams. Now I look back on it and this has happened many times before. It’s not malicious; instead it is like a game. That is the power I need a face to face with. This connection with hidden realms of consciousness goes even further than the masculine shadow that trolls me. My feminine soul mate accompanies me as well. I remember all too well being in the Andes mountains in Ecuador, high on Huachuma, and having her manifestation as a cow, an ancient representation of the Goddess, being with me the whole time. The wisdom goddess has been with me from the beginning. She has promised protection and she has offered answers. The answers come in the same way as the trolling with the difference being knowledge reveals as opposed to games of one-upmanship. My forays into alterations of consciousness are first and foremost encounters with the feminine Goddess or the masculine shadow. The masculine side I sometimes encounter and who trolls me, is me. The me I try to bury but have come to know well now over the last few years. He’s one up on my conscious self. Who is in the driver’s seat? I drive sometimes but I’m a passenger when it comes to the big stuff. It sure seems the feminine and masculine powers can manipulate events towards an outcome or try and influence my behaviour. Ultimately, I have found I decide. There's an old saying about how the devil made me do it. The suggestion came through the subconscious and the trappings of culture however what needs to be understood is you did it.

 

What keeps me going and attracted to the incarnation? Why do this coming and going in spite of all the suffering? It’s the adventure and solving the riddle I created. There’s this great mystery and puzzle that was waiting for me. Who is god? Let me embark on an inexplicable and unintelligible aside here. When I first peered into the darkness I was presented with this strange scene of weirdness and despair. My mind’s eye still cannot fathom it to this day and it has been over seven years. I’ve glimpsed hints of it but it has remained obfuscated from my memory for the most part. What big thing I remember though is a deck of cards that formed images in the upper part of this construct. I saw rotating images of hearts, diamonds, clubs, and spades. There are 52 cards in the deck. I’m 52 years old now and I’m the joker. I’m the one who created the game. The puzzle took 52 years to figure out this time. It was a sublime adventure. I’ve solved the riddle. Fait accompli.

 

I beat the game. Now what? I still have my garden; the garden of the mind. I’m going to cultivate that and the fruits I will share and my flower will become radiant in its beauty.

being healthily crazy

When you reconcile all back to centre by taking the feminine and masculine, lower self, self, upper self, water, earth, air, and the four directions you reconstitute the axis mundi. It is what you began with and have always had. Ultimately, life is not a quest to discover or attain anything; the journey is a way for you to eventually remember who you once were and reconcile all back to centre. It’s the big game and it’s one hell of an adventure. When you play, awaken, and realize you are everything then you become the I am - the self. You realize there is nothing that is not you. Freedom and liberation in this finite lifetime. From this you can take the next step which is if you are everything then to call it a self is a misnomer. There is no self; it just is.

How about a mythological lesson or two? In classical texts, the terms nusa, nyssa, and nyssi refer to a mountain that is the support stand of heaven, which is the axis mundi. With this information, it's not hard to figure out the Greco-mythical figure of Dionysos is the embodiment of the axis mundi. The ‘dio' part of the name is the connection to divinity. Dionysos is the god of the reconciliation of all. This is the eternal flame, the zoë, and the Great Spirit. The history of Dionysos extends beyond Classical Greek civilization into the Mycenaean period where a reference to the name was discovered in Crete during the Bronze Age Minoan civilization. This is a civilization that extends back in time to 3000 BCE. Why do ancient civilizations has a preponderance of gods and goddesses? Were they superstitious and intellectually inferior, devoid of the reason and logic that our civilization idolizes? My guess is they were more in balance with the dualistic powers of serpent and jaguar that animates the spirit within, instead of valuing and exalting one over the other and consequently losing the knowledge of both. Looking back into history, the evidence reveals the evolution came gradually: goddess and god became just god and eventually that was done away with and replaced by the man. Heralding this event into our civilization was reported by Plutarch who wrote, "The great god Pan is dead!" The news of Pan’s death was announced from the skies to a sailor named Thamus. Paganism, as nature worship, was struck down. The nineteenth century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche exclaimed, “God is dead,” and then proceeded to write a book, ‘The Birth of Tragedy” in which he describes the Apollonian and the Dionysian divide within man and somehow he intellectually accomplishes the act of divorcing them from the gods he had buried. Welcome to man as the godman. Apollo gets top billing now as the bright light of reason and the epitome of man's destiny while the wild man is sent away. Nature remains under attack. Logic, reason, and science is now the god of our culture, personified by the intellect; the feminine chaos still exists in the waters of creation but is relegated to an afterthought. Artificial Intelligence and sentient robots of pure logic and reason will be the crowning achievement of history! Fuck feelings and love; what impediments! The Babylonian Marduk must take to the waters of chaos to kill Tiamat in order for civilization to progress. She has been wounded and relegated to the deep and here we are on the cusp of fulfilling that Mesopotamian myth. The ancient mind hadn’t devolved into this single-mindedness, thus they could sense all powers within the environment. It’s available to us if we can throw off the shackles of culture, get still, and feel.

The central idol of the Chavin culture of pre-Columbian South America, we now call the Lanzon, is also an axis mundi representing the reconciliation of all the forces of nature into one being.

The central idol in the temple of the Jaguar at Chavin

It is reversing the process of the power expanding outwards back into its source. It’s like picturing a point of consciousness that contains all and then seeing this potentiality projected out into the universe at large and subsequently finally realizing it is all you. You are seeing yourself at play. We have for the most part lost this meaning and to suggest it to most is to elicit the response of I don’t know what you are talking about, a dispassionate shrug, or a leave that up to the experts response.

When I drink Huachuma, I feel the coming of the god. It’s the idea of the complete self, once we shed the notion of the separate parts of yourself. I connect with all. I experience bringing it all back to centre, the axis mundi, and sit with the self and bask in the knowledge that it all starts with the great self and emanates all out from there. It’s a touchstone moment on the spiritual journey.

I’ve thought about physics and matter enough to realize that we are limited by our instruments and their ability to peer into subatomic particles. I believe that the further we are able to peer into the underpinnings of the all, the more it will just subdivide and confound us. I have embraced the idea that all is consciousness as in mental energy that vibrates and from these levels of vibration we get what we call rays and what we call matter. To use string theory as an analogy, where at its basic form there are an infinite number of strings which are vibrating and that’s what makes up the universe, well picture that but minus the strings. In other words, stringless theory.

The same goes for the self. It’s comforting to think we are an autonomous self and in a way we are, as long as we hold together the form however I have to believe at the root of all this is the same situation encountered in physics where eventually we will learn there is no self. We are just amalgamations of energy that have taken on a certain vibrational form and who knows how long that will last? Do we eventually disintegrate and return to the ocean of energy and continually transform into a new energetic being? Do you believe in magic?

Enjoy the ride. 

indestructible life

It’s important to study mythology and the goddesses and gods if you are a seeker of wisdom and knowledge. Contained within these myths, are wisdom bombs that withstand the test of time and are a check against the obfuscation of language and culture. The indestructible life force behind the body and powering you up is the eternal energy that just is. The Greeks had a word for it, called zoë, which they differentiated from individual biological life of a perishable nature which they called bios. This speaks towards the importance of language and the different meanings of life that we have lost that were ingrained into the Greek mind. This same situation pops up again with our conception of love which we leave as a catch all and depend on modifiers to describe how we are feeling. The Greeks in turn, used multiple and differing words all related to the core concept of love, that related precisely to the specific feeling whether it be romantic love, brotherly love, a mother’s love, unconditional love, and so on.

It is a good exercise to open the mind. My English language steers me in the direction of thinking about life with just the one meaning and that it begins and ends with my biological body and I treat everyone as an individual who concentrates life within their own personal biosphere. I don’t ever give thought to a power behind all life that gives rise to everything and is the arcing presence behind the creation of life because language shields me from this way of thinking. I don’t feel immortal because I have little exposure to a legitimate concept that bestows immortality upon us however there is a force that is indestructible and it is the power behind everything; an energy which the Greeks called zoë.

You can’t kill or destroy this power. A gun does nothing. You can’t stomp it out or burn it. You can try and tear it to pieces but it just adopts a new form or reforms. It lies behind all and is forever coming and going in a cycle of creation and destruction, vibrating in a constant transformational flux. Zoë uses the power of the Goddess to keep reappearing. The feminine is the creator that gives birth to recurring biological forms, allowing the divine actor to take the stage once again and perform the dance of life. The life form is the vehicle for zoë to reappear in our world; the ever-changing and transformational glory of indestructible life.

In my never ending journey on a ship of fools, I’m starting to understand this power called zoë. My biological body is a finite structure animated by this power. This eternal power doesn’t expire and is forever pulsing with a huge amount of energy. It’s the body that eventually slows down and has trouble accessing the power. There is an advantage to this slowing down though as awareness increases and you can sit with yourself and get a feel for what is happening: to you and all around you. I was walking on a path in the woods yesterday and came across a patch of overgrowth that had all these bees and deer flies buzzing about. I knew that was the power concentrated in a little insect and the buzz was the sound of the energy. It was popping, zinging, and having a glorious time. I felt like I was in the midst of a day with Huachuma, with my senses alive and noticing all this wonder. A butterfly came into my view and the majestic fluttering while riding the wind gave me a glimpse of the artistry contained within this power.

It got me thinking about how I have encountered this power in my mythological studies. The ancient Egyptian Heb Sed festival stands out as a celebration of the virility of the Pharaoh. He shows off his strength and concludes this display by maintaining an erection and masturbating to completion. For real! They had an elaborate ceremony for this act. The ability to prove he is still virile is a testament to the power still coursing through him. There is a depiction in a tomb of a courtier of Amenhotep III that describes a renewal of the Pharaoh’s power in which the starry serpent of the sky, as the goddess Hathor, is invoked in order to propitiate the continued strength of the king through granting him this much needed power. I also remembered in Lao Tzu's ancient Chinese Tao Te Ching, the passage where the power is being described as coming forth pure in the erection of an infant male.

Being full of power is like being a baby.

Scorpions don’t sting, tigers don’t attack, eagles don’t strike.

Soft bones, weak muscles, but a firm grasp.

Ignorant of the intercourse of man and woman, yet the baby penis is erect.

True and perfect energy!

All day long screaming and crying, but never getting hoarse.

True and perfect harmony! To know harmony is to know what’s eternal.

To know what’s eternal is enlightenment.

Increase of life is full of portent: the strong heart exhausts the vital breath.

The full-grown is on the edge of age. Not the Way.

Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching, A Book about the Way and the Power of the Way – Ursula K. Le Guin

To know what’s eternal is enlightenment! Plant medicine teachers reveal the eternal and the homework is to understand it. Then you know. Additionally, how much is our sexuality connected and tied to this power and why does it makes us feel so alive? I thought of how zoë enlivens our bodies and gives us that feeling of strength and virility; personified by the ancient Olympian and the modern decathlete. Also, the bodybuilder who takes this power and shapes it in the human form. Plus, the artist who creates and the scientist who discovers by accessing the creativity, wonder, and wisdom within this power. I also wondered about how the power is taking this amalgamation of flesh and bone and granting it the charge needed to act. I thought of how we can express this power and how it manifests within creation. In the jaguar, you see in the ferocity of the animal this power and in the fur the patterns displaying its savage grandeur. The flower coming forth is the grace inherent in life. The eyeball and its exquisite intricacy and stunning beauty defy words.

This power is mostly hidden. It’s always there with us but for the most part we are oblivious to it and once again because of language we never think about it or go looking for it. There are ways to access it however and in order to re-introduce yourself to this power you have to find a way to change your consciousness. I know of a few methods. A surefire way to directly access this power is through the plant medicine Huachuma. It will sharpen your senses and allow you to recognize this power free flowing throughout your body. At first, it is quite the strange experience as you feel this coursing energy envelop your body. With experience, you will then be able to start to work with the energy. Strong, powerful, lustful, challenging, teaching, rewarding, and connection are some words that come to mind. Connection is the biggie. Through the commonality of this power between all it becomes possible to make connections with nature, others, and yourself through a sub-channel of communication we don’t normally use. Perhaps that is not correct. I think we do use this mode of communication all the time but we don’t know we are engaging in this transmission. It involves harmony and resonance with others. Mental telepathy is a thing; we just don’t have the requisite experience and natural ability to change consciousness enough to recognize it. Plant medicines will show you it is possible and help you cultivate this power. At its core, this power is vibration. All life is vibration and the language of frequency plays out on a scale hidden to us until we unmask its use through changing our consciousness. Changing consciousness allows us to experience the world from a different perspective instead of the frequency we normally lock to that obfuscates much of what is going on behind the scenes. The way we operate in the world is oblivious to this power and the fundamental connection we have to all life, and to zoë.

The ancient Egyptians referenced this power in their art as someone’s double which was the connecting same source life force running through us all that came from the power of the Goddess called sekhem.

Ka power represented as a double

The Hindus call it the subtle body (sukshma sarira) which is the expression of the chakra system and their power centres within. Zoë is the power expressed by the kundalini serpent that rises on up through the chakras. The energy that propels the serpent upwards is zoë. The expression of the power sexually results in bliss and waves of serpent energy coursing throughout the body. It leaves and ever returns, thus the need to recharge. Fully charged, you can eventually express the energy via a different modality. It can still be strong and pulsing sexualized energy but instead of the genital route you can enliven your subtle body and make it shine and pulse. It’s called working with the power and through it you can heal and fully enliven your spiritual centres. This is true enlightenment through tantric practice for anyone who is interested. All of us on the pure and holy path towards enlightenment run from tantra because of its association to sexual power and sex isn’t spiritual; it’s dirty right?

The ancient Minoan god Dionysos is the image of indestructible life. In the myth, zoë is always returning through the auspices of the goddess Ariadne; he mystically impregnates his wife who subsequently becomes his mother.

Dionysos and Ariadne on the Derveni krater from the Thessaloniki Archaeological Museum

The ancient Egyptians called this phenomenon the kamutef which means "bull of his mother."

Ithyphallic Amen-Kamutef from Luxor Temple

Originally in mythology, the ever-coming god was sent away, ridiculed, and torn apart by the Titans but this immortal god always returns. The god is zoë; the one behind all life. Dionysos, once discovered, is the liberator par excellence, freeing one from care, worry, and the self through madness, ecstasy, and potent unmixed wine; the wine being an all-inclusive symbol of intoxication that throws off the chains of self-restraint and cultural expectations. At its best you are free to love all; at its worst you kick down the door of repression and upset the guardians of society.

Dionysos can be described as a he-she. Dionysos is the link between the living and the dead and thus he appears in the Greek Eleusinian Mysteries with Persephone as she descends into the underworld and returns with new life. The awesome power you can feel flowing through you is Dionysos. I will do my best not to pronoun Dionysos as the presence of the god encompasses all. Dionysos is the new life of the grape that appears courtesy of the sun and the rain. Dionysos is a vegetarian and the god also eats raw meat. Dionysos comes forth as a creator, as a vegetarian Dionysos preserves life, and by trapping wild animals in the forest and rending them alive, tearing their flesh and devouring it, the god is also the destroyer. The god is a paradox encompassing life and embracing death. Dionysos dances delightfully upon the thread that binds the living with the deceased. 

Dionysos could just be the god for our tumultuous time. The god is a liberator from the restraints of society and culture, allowing all to embrace their passions and kinks. Transgenderism, free love, freedom from identification, and gender fluidity are all in Dionysos’ retinue. These underground currents within society always return to challenge the status quo and invite cultural revolution or repression. Shall we send the liberator god away once again or this time integrate the perverse into society? A little has to be let in or the dam is going to break. Can’t you see it is happening now? Society is being challenged and walls are coming down. Chaos is rushing in. History informs us of the coming backlash and repression or alternatively the crumbling of a civilization. However beware of the forces that rush in when society collapses as that is never predictable. There’s no escaping this influence and it will always be a part of the fabric of life and our attempts to organize and preserve our way of life. The forces of authoritarianism stand at the ready to take advantage of the Dionysian impulse within all civilizations.

Dionysos is the axis mundi who is the link between the dreamer and the dream. The god is the complete psyche; madness and all. Dionysos is the joker and wild card who upsets the jenga of expectations and conformity and lets it all ride on the outcome of a game of chance. The god resides in the orderly pack of playing cards, shuffling the deck, and inserting wild outcomes of chance within the game of life. Dionysos gets on the roller-coaster of life and turns it up to 11. You think you have it together and then Dionysos comes along to upset the perfectly stacked applecart or to scare the living shit out of you and chase you all the way home. Face it, the potential for self-destruction is such a kick, especially when you are indestructible. What game can I play to give this sensation junkie a thrill? How long can I keep up the game and keep upsetting the pillars of society before I’m asked to leave? Conversely have you ever felt you didn’t fit in, especially when you were a teenager? Didn’t you feel there was something funny about the game adults were playing that you knew was bullshit, so you rebelled? But you grew up and decided to fit in and play that game. The strategies you developed as a kid to fit in you levelled up in order to fit into the adult game. Everything eventually has its reckoning. I want to be free.