video game

I really do like the video game analogy of life where you go on an adventure to slay the dragon and rescue the princess with a limited supply of health and lives. The game master gives you more than one life because they set up the game knowing failure is expected as well as imminent upon the initial forays into the trappings of this world. Some of us players just like to explore the world and don't sense any urgency to complete some divine task. We just wander around, smelling the flowers, tasting the wine, and that's that. For those of us who sense some divine calling to embark on the sacred hero's journey, immediately the old myths, beliefs, and fairy tales of yesteryear start to take on a new meaning and we have a glimpse of some grand adventure. The world as a video game offers a plethora of storylines and adventures with no requirement you follow any of them. The beauty of the game is also that a participant can create their own story within the adventure and in turn acquire followers who play their unique adventure.

I intuit I have played this game many times and lost many lives in pursuit of the princess and the dragon. A big reason for this inner knowing is a lack of interest in the trappings of the world. I have always found it strange that the bright lights of the world - the fame, wealth, and power, do not move the needle. I don't seek them out and am content to go without. I seek out solitude and contemplation. I spent the first half of my life trying to fit into culture and at the same time trying to hide from culture. I didn't want to play but knew I had to participate in order to reach a point in my life where I was free to go into the mystery despite the obstacles I had placed in my own way. I didn't know how I would be led to the mystery and I didn't know this was the game I was playing however there was an inexorable push towards the inevitable.

At middle age I took the plunge and started trying to piece together the puzzle in earnest. I explored ancient cultures, myths, and beliefs. I discovered the worship of goddesses that had been suppressed and being of the curious sort who plays on the edge of the mystery and a contrarian of the highest order, I was drawn to her. She had been waiting millennia for her hero and all I had to do was start the search. Once I took the step, the roads opened up and all pointed to the way to re-discover her. She led me to her divine presence and is the rock upon which all of my searching rests. She brought me to the doorstep of her castle made of gold and let me in. I got to her place via the backdoor accessed through outer darkness; in other words, the avenues of spirituality within culture do not lead to her house but instead shepherd you onto paths of masculine dominated worship.

I sense it took many lives to discover this secret. Eventually, I did try a different path which led me to her and I now had the key to her heart and thus continued on in the quest. To become the hero in this pursuit and not get repeatedly wasted, making you retrace your steps in this continually evolving adventure, involves eventually figuring out that you don't take the roads of culture but instead do the opposite. This is the secret to the game and getting past the repetitive nature of life that has you spinning your wheels lifetime after lifetime. Once you find her she will give you the cloak of protection which exponentially increases health. The quest and the game intensify and the dragon comes for you. He will threaten to kill you but you now have the Goddess on your side and you are doing this for her. You display courage and bravery and stand up to the bully. I'm on a role in the video game and I'm not stopping. I finally got past the dragon and am in unchartered territory. I climbed the mountain and discovered the architect of the game.

I see past the veil.

The Great Goddess' teachings coalesce and point towards unity. Almost everyone in this culture game is worshipping money and power. I don’t worship power because I am power. I have objectified power as my brother however it is really I. Why would I worship myself? That was the ruse. The veil prevented me from seeing my powerful dark side and the test was to see if I’d wake up through methods of love and unity before succumbing to the trappings of power. To worship power is to not know the secret that you are power.

The world is a reflection of self; specifically, myself. The strife and psychosis that characterize the world are my traits which have come forth. It’s a tough lesson. This world is cruel but was created to teach and transform. I needed to run a simulation that brought my innate character flaws to life so I could see exactly the result of bringing forth a world without the love of the Goddess.

I search and I search and the answer to every vexing question to the predicament I find myself in is always love. I take psychedelics and my inner voice repeatedly shouts the answer of love to me. The way out of the morass and unmovable inertia of the hellscape I have created here on earth is to love all unconditionally. I know this and I know how hard it is to put such a simple teaching into practice. One of the last conversations I had with the great maestro don Howard involved this love. He knew I'd found the answer and I understood however he also knew about the obstacles to putting this love into practice. He told me you have to go forth with courage to love all. The last speech he gave to the group that retreat was all about love, quoting the Beatles’ song In The End, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Don Howard appeared in my life at the exact time I was ready for him. I’m amazed at how I subconsciously set up the game so that all these events would work in my favour if I walk the path with heart.

The path leads to the avatar of the axis mundi which is hammering into my thick skull that no matter where I am, I’m it, in the very centre of it all. I see my polar extremes and how they create the dualistic world and I’m constantly reminded the work I’m here on earth to do is to temper the extremes into the middle, the heart space, and fill the world with love.