weaving duality

I have the ability to confound and confuse with the games I play within my mind. I can walk the edge of sanity and invite the ideas swirling within my mind to come together and reveal universal truths.

Maybe I’m the one who is not real? Maybe I spent all my life denying my inner life and burying it in order that I could come forth and greedily soak up this incarnation. Maybe I should be the one in the darkness? Perhaps I’m the illegitimate one. Maybe I’m the parasite? It’s an interesting way to look at my incarnation. This once again brings me back to the story of Jacob and Esau in the Old Testament. Jacob is the one who came forth and took all the honours away from his twin brother Esau, who was portrayed as a hairy and stupid beast. When Jacob was fleeing Laban for his life, Laban being the father of Jacob's moon goddess wives Rachel and Leah, he was also running from the collective forces of Esau, who were coming to kill him. Jacob knew he was a deceitful thief and hadn’t reconciled with Esau, his shadow. I have a pretty good mystical grasp of the Bible so let me pull out a few verses from Genesis chapter 25 in the King James Version which is describing the birth of the twins Esau and Jacob to illustrate what I’m getting at here.

25 And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau.

26 And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them.

The shadow is the firstborn and the alpha. If you dissect the etymology of Hebrew words used to describe Esau you’ll find they link back to the idea of an ‘eleph that is derivative of the ‘aleph; the symbol for the bull who represents the coursing power of the alpha male which is called the Ka in ancient Egypt and represented in that civilization as well by the bull. Ultimately, there is an untold story here that is describing a hidden power deep within all men that originally came forth first as the life force and through our cunning we took control and buried him in order to keep this adventure all to our self and burdened the redman with the appellation of demon. Later, in Genesis chapter 25 is described a situation where Jacob tricks Esau into giving up his firstborn birthright.

29 And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint:

30 And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom.

31 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.

32 And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?

33 And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.

34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.

Wow. This knowledge starts to unravel the idea of the sacrifice of the firstborn. In order to claim kingship over self, I sacrificed the firstborn and took his birthright. Later, Jacob deceives his father Isaac into granting him the blessing of the firstborn in order to become a great nation, as Isaac nears death in chapter 27.

6 And Rebekah spake unto Jacob her son, saying, Behold, I heard thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying,

7 Bring me venison, and make me savoury meat, that I may eat, and bless thee before the Lord before my death.

8 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee.

9 Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:

10 And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.

11 And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man:

12 My father peradventure will feel me, and I shall seem to him as a deceiver; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing.

13 And his mother said unto him, Upon me be thy curse, my son: only obey my voice, and go fetch me them.

Because of the discovered deceit, Esau vows to kill Jacob.

42 And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee.

The situation comes to a head in chapter 32 as Jacob is returning from his exile where he had stayed with Laban and his two daughters for 14 years.

6 And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, We came to thy brother Esau, and also he cometh to meet thee, and four hundred men with him.

7 Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed: and he divided the people that was with him, and the flocks, and herds, and the camels, into two bands;

9 And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the Lord which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee:

11 Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children.

Jacob is delivered after spending the night wrestling with the angel of God who gives him the name Israel. The angel of God is a manifestation of the alpha male power that all heroes must contend with at some point in their journey if they are to be successful. 

My own experience suggests because whom we call the demon within can become your teacher, there is a co-dependency rooted in the dual nature of existence. I now know with clarity “I”, my bifurcated self, has two masculine polarities and I bury one of them and identify with the other. It’s a lot easier to understand what the ancient Egyptians were trying to teach with the stories of Horus and Set and what the Quariwari shamans of the pre-Columbian Andes were describing with tinkuy and taking the two halves of the man and reconciling them into the centre. In the ancient lore of India, it is the god Shiva who is this destructive power within man. Curiously, Shiva has a Datura leaf in his headdress and from my experiences in the Amazon I know of this Datura plant that they call toé and its ability to take you deep into the darkness of self.

I educated myself in the mythology of ancient Egypt as a casual perusal of my earlier blog posts certainly attests. I was fascinated by the rivalry between Horus and Set and the iconic story told about their conflict which is called, “The Contendings of Horus and Set.” The esoteric meaning embedded into this tale is this struggle for mastery within the man. He comes forth by day as the light in the guise of the hero Horus but the journey is not smooth sailing at all as the shadow, represented by the red and powerful beast Set, is intent on claiming kingship for himself. Thus, from the moment Horus comes into this world there is conflict between the two that is said to last 80 years. In other words, our whole life. Ancient Egypt was at its strongest and in its imperial glory when Set and Horus were united as the tying together of the Sema represents.

Set and Horus tying together the Sema

Within the iconography found throughout the land of ancient Kemet are curious images of the union of these two contending powers. The great god Harakhty of the double horizon who ushers in the light and the darkness speaks to this idea. Egypt became weak and eventually was overrun by foreign invaders after they ran Set out of the kingdom as those in power did not recognize the strength with which he imbued the nation and instead blamed all calamities on his influence. 

Ultimately, the ancient Egyptians were cognizant of this psychological split within the psyche of man but projected it onto royalty and left the commoner to a fate where they would never see the light. This split is discovered within an eternal conflict between two spheres of duality competing for rule over the psychic self which the ancient Egyptians mythologized in their story of the conflict between brothers struggling for the kingship of the land. This destiny is within us all; not just exclusively the purview of kings and queens. 

I have taken all the glory for myself on this path of awakening when in retrospect I’ve seen the split over and over again and am cognizant of the need for reconciliation and power sharing. I am everything. I am god. I am two. I’m Horus and Set. I’m Horus come forth but it is Set who is the power god of this world. I awaken and reclaim my kingdom yet I only have a share in it. In wholeness I truly am God, the dark and the light fully integrated, and that is the journey ahead where I see the blueprint and my destiny that awaits. It is only through the reconciliation of my consciousness which has come forth and the energetic tour de force that lays within that I reclaim my birthright and is a recognition that the two of us together is the reconstitution of God.

God is the sum of the light and the dark. This idea is perfect in that it is us who brings God forth through the reconciliation of our very nature. Reconciliation of duality brings us to God. I have come forth as the light but at the expense of the power I left buried in the shadow. I am Horus or as the Greeks equated him, Apollo. It’s no accident that upon alteration of my consciousness and descending into my very depths this buried power mocked me by loudly whispering, “Apollo, Apollo, Apollo” and then watching me run. This is the eternal struggle and within myth it is all found, hidden in plain sight. The names and the faces change but the drama retains its flavour. Dionysos is the great actor and keeps Apollo from losing himself in his narcissism. At the great oracle temple of Delphi, it is Apollo who grants the gift of prophecy to the Pythia during the ascendance of the vernal equinox; however, it is in the darkness of the winter months that Dionysos reclaims the temple and the surrounding mountains along with his followers, the maenads and satyrs, who celebrate our true nature in an orgy of sensual pleasure.

Now, I know what I have recounted here is very male-centric and does not touch on the destiny of the woman. There’s a good reason why and it is because I’m a man. I don’t know what a woman is struggling with. I view the pinnacle of womanhood as the Great Goddess and I owe the trajectory of my life to her grace. I am sure she is reflected in all women; in fact, she has told me so; however, I don’t know how that is reconciled within the woman. As a man, I know of my psychological split and the need to reconcile the two great powers at the fount of my being and once perfected I become ready for the grand reunion of divine feminine and divine masculine which in mythology is called the Hieros gamos. 

I am content with my discoveries and how I can weave all my knowledge into a coherent thread that I understand. I see the coalescing of world mythology into an overarching theme pointing at a great power within and going on a hero’s journey to write the rest of the story. Take the step and watch your world come alive.