acceleration and deceleration

The dream I had a week ago Saturday night will leave me food for thought for quite a while as it was a full plate. During the day, the weather and sunshine contributed to the first spring like day of the year and I spent a great deal of time outside, all the while smoking away on Mapacho. For those unfamiliar with the tobacco maestro, he is a potentiator of dreams, always reminding me that Ayahuasca visions and dreams are of the same world.

So, here’s the dream: I had been hanging out with three other people in a remote location; the identity of the those with me were generic, no one familiar. This particular evening, I went to a sacred spot of visions. There was no catalyst needed; instead you peered into this darkness and it became visionary. With me during this occasion was one of the women. She peered in and then encouraged me to do so. The visions were kaleidoscopic and abstract in nature. I commented that I wished I could record what I am seeing through the auspices of my mind that is interpreting the energy in this portal. The woman with me was talking to me about these revelations and how she needed to show others this place of wonder. She then became part of the experience and started directly communicating with me without speech. I have previously experienced this modality of communication during Ayahuasca ceremonies with the Great Goddess. Eventually, I felt the woman I was in communion with merge into me until she squeezed my chest and heart so much I felt smothered and couldn’t breathe. I physically felt these sensations though I was dreaming which eventually woke me up. The suffocation stopped once I stopped struggling and accepted the hug. When I came to, I was in a wtf state for a bit before I started trying to comprehend the dream. I wasn’t scared though I had some adrenaline flowing from the experience and recurring tingles throughout my body because of the excitement. It was a bit of a shock however a testament to my experience on this path that I did not get frightened or have some kind of panic about what transpired but instead I experienced recurring chills in regards to how real it was. Mapacho makes the dream so real it makes me question the reality I live in. I have indeed dreamt before a dream that fingered Mapacho as the potentiator of the mental energy behind this reality we think is really real.

I have a few initial takeaways from the dream. The major one was the feminine spirit I felt merge with me and squeeze me like a constrictor. I tried to figure out who she represents but, in the end, I think she is an amalgamation of the feminine divine. The dream is showing me the underlying desire of the feminine to possess. They want to hold on so tight and sometimes it leads to smothering. Lately, I have been marvelling at the symbol of the serpent for the feminine because of how in life too much love can lead to feeling suffocated much like a boa constrictor would squeeze the life out of you. The way out is not to avoid love but to let it happen. Let the serpent constrictor have her embrace, celebrate her love, find balance, and proceed to once again disengage and go your separate ways. I also thought about the human custom of hugging and how it uniquely captures the instinct to love, squeeze, and possess. Further clarity on that dream is I remember an Ayahuasca ceremony in 2016 where the Goddess as a green boa entered into my body and took up residence in me. I’d have to believe then the woman with me at the visionary site was her. She was reminding me of the need to stay heart strong on this path.

Another takeaway is something intuitive where I have noticed the feminine has this occult power resident within that I’m not sure they even understand. It is magical and sends out vibrations that are intent upon enchantment. I say this because of certain women I meet who I know become interested in the vibe I put out and in turn they want to possess it. I don’t say this in terms of self-aggrandizement or wanting to give myself an ego boost but instead recognize it for what it is. Ultimately, I am walking a path that has to remember liberation is the key ingredient. I believe the dream represents an obstacle on the path being the tendency of the feminine to ensnare, not in a devious and plotting manner, but in a loving way and this makes you give up the path towards the answer to the mystery and parallel journey that calls out to you. You sacrifice the odyssey to tend to the needs of the feminine archetype which is to create family. In parallel, men also have an instinct to possess, we like to collect things, which in turn enslaves us. I remember a Ram Dass talk teaching the way out of this behaviour. It’s to treat all as the beloved instead of continuously collecting individual manifestations of the beloved. My first cycle of work with Ayahuasca in 2013 dealt with this very predicament. The masculine energy I was in communion with was presenting as a madman and was spouting off about the feminine in a very misogynist tone. I remember sitting there in the dark in the middle of the jungle listening to this and wondering what I had got myself into? I was being told the subjugation of the feminine was because of her charms that took the man repeatedly away from his reason for being here in form in the repeat of his incarnation. To walk the path of the hero was thwarted by settling down into domestic hell. I didn’t know it at the time but this appearance of a madman was just one of the ways the divine masculine can manifest in vision. Sometimes, he’s stark raving mad, pulsing with energy, and other times he’s a wise grandfather. I now celebrate them all. At that particular time, he came on in this way to teach me the lesson. Well, that and to chase me away to see if I had the courage and fortitude to return and take up my sword of liberation.

The thing about the hero’s journey calling out to you is that it leads to liberation of not only the masculine spirit within but will also free the feminine from the masculine’s desire to possess. When the masculine pursues the feminine he becomes a collector, and being the stronger of the two powers he ends up locking her up in a castle made of gold or in some cultures she is veiled and never let out without being escorted by her husband or brothers. The path of freedom leads to extricating oneself from cultural constructs and at the same time making this freedom available to all.

I also recall Ram Dass telling a story where his guru Maharaji-ji told him he should be alone. I don’t have a Maharaji but I do know I need to be alone. The pitfall is that if I spend too much time alone I become destructive so once again it leads me towards seeking balance. Then the scales tip in the other direction and I have to extricate myself out of the ensuing predicament. Ram Dass further explained this advice with the caveat that though he should be alone, contradictory he should be with others. What this advice is getting at are the subjects of freedom and attachment. You can be around others and enjoy them however do not get attached. You’ll sacrifice your freedom on the altar of possessive love or co-opt your ideals to fit in with the group and it’s game over. The journey comes to a sudden stop. Maybe next time you’ll beat the game. Therein lies the rub. There’s always a next time so we fall into the trap and say we have come far in this incarnation and we’ll get them next time. There’re no guarantees. I got a good roll of the dice this time around thus being on to the game, I think I should see it through to where it is leading me this time around.

Overall, the dream is forcing me to concretize what I already know. The impetus of the dream is to get me to examine the nature of the universe and develop my thoughts into a coherent structure that unlocks the mystery of just what is. It’s the next lesson on the path where I knew the masculine was energetic outpouring but the feminine was a mysterious power that entrapped the masculine in order to create form. I wasn’t sure of the mystery. I got it now. The epiphany followed the dream. The energy is masculine and feminine. The masculine is acceleration and the feminine is deceleration and that constitutes what just is. The masculine wants to go fast, to be free, to shine, to roam, and to be unencumbered. The feminine wants to slow it all down, hug it out, unity, love, and create form. Deceleration creates the world of form. Acceleration is the destroyer that seeks to liberate itself from form. That is the mystery.

This simple description of the pulse of energy being acceleration and deceleration plays out on the world stage in the behaviours of the man and the woman. I take a walk in the woods and look at the massive girth of a mature tree and just see decelerated energy that has taken on form. All biological life is this energy of the universe decelerated into innumerable patterns with the acceleration of the masculine polarity giving it life. Within our forms are the two gendered charges creating and destroying life in a continuous cycle. It’s so awesome, empowering, and at the same time comforting to understand this lesson. Even in the world of electronics, I see this concept at work in the idea of the computer replicating the biological life form where the divine feminine is the form of the computer and the divine masculine is the electrical power that gives life to the form. The makings of this construct is also witnessed in the animal kingdom where the instinct animals are said to run on, the law of the jungle and the survival of the fittest, are the traits of the masculine power. The feminine is the form and the traits of the great mother overtake the animal when they are flooded with estrogen during pregnancy and motherhood.

This knowledge I have been sitting with for a while but it’s only now the understanding has come. I have previously described all life as being a verb in the sense that nouns are objects and anything we can lay claim to that does not transform is dead. Life is transformation. Fighting transformation is useless and leads to suffering in the same sense that the Tao Te Ching teaches that swimming against the current leads to frustration and counsels you to go with the flow. Accept that the gift of life is enabled by transformation as opposed to fighting change and the requisite suffering. Once the body stops transforming it dies but the death of the vehicle leads to continual transformation of the energy sustaining that body; free once again to enliven another form. The ancient Egyptians perfectly understood this concept and assigned to the scarab beetle called Khepri the representation of this continual process of the universe. One of the regal names of the Pharaohs of the 18th dynasty included a variation of this theme of transformation. The Pharaoh’s name you see encircled in a cartouche, called the prenomen by Egyptologists, emotes this idea of transformation. The prenomen of Pharaoh Akhenaten is “Neferkhepure-Waenre” which recalling my knowledge of ancient Egyptian means something like, “beautiful are the transformations of light.” His son, the famous Pharaoh Tutankhamen, prenomen is “Nebkheperure” which translates to the “Lord of the transformations of light.” The ancient Egyptians were spiritual masters of the knowledge of energy and its continual transformations.

The masculine impetus of the eternal flame climbs the mountain of appearance. The power inherent in the speed of light accelerates to the top, suffers in his journey, and finally shines in grandeur for all to admire. The feminine deceleration of the energy takes the path of least resistance back downhill towards unity until the masculine leaves once again, fully rested, to seek out adventure.

This blog space is a testament to my journey of discovery where I don’t want to come across as having all the answers. I certainly did not and I can look back on my journey and see that it was a progression where I detailed what I needed at the time knowing that I had so much still to discover. As I have progressed upon the path so much has been revealed, a little at a time, and then I have to understand the knowledge. Once I understand the concept, I move on to the next lesson. The obstacles in the path are removed and I advance unencumbered to the next block of teachings.