spiritual babble

The pandemic is part blessing and for all I know was designed and mapped out on the game board to be part of my spiritual journey that forced me to seek answers away from the molecular onslaught of the powerful plant medicine teachers Ayahuasca and Huachuma. My repeated spiritual odysseys to Peru were put on pause. My integration period after their use average out to a year, which does give me ample time to sit with what I directly experienced. To be sure, I am still getting lessons and revelations of visionary experience from eight years ago but it’s not surprising as communion with plant medicine teachers really is lifelong continuing education. I would have gone back to Peru in February of 2021 if I could have. I’ve reached a point in my exploration of consciousness where instead of running scared or struggling with the experience, I find the whole immersion uplifting to my soul and gives me a yearly hit of the spiritual to sustain me for another year.

The plan, as drawn up on my chalkboard, was to dive deep into the abyss and confront my shadow. I wanted to see what made me tick and why I’m wired the way I am. I wanted to re-live my first experience with the medicine when it scared me silly; this time exploring the hidden toy box of repression and discovery. Finally realizing and accepting that 2021 was a write-off in terms of travel coincided with exploring my darkness with the tools I have at my disposal, helped by the tobacco maestro Mapacho. I gathered up all the knowledge as revealed by the plants and my in class experiential interaction with my shadow and sat with it, all the while using the grace of Mapacho to activate the hidden power within me. I made the connection of the unveiled and coursing power at the root of the seat of my being to the divine masculine and this source coming from a place buried deep within me. My knowledge coalesced into understanding and I realized I didn’t need to be in an Ayahuasca ceremony to explore what I kept in the darkness. All I had to do was integrate the sum total of all my lessons. There comes a point in the journey where you have the requisite knowledge you need in order to unlock the mysteries of life. What is then required are the twin graces of wisdom and understanding. Plant medicine journeys will give you knowledge but it is within the integration period where you take the knowledge and cultivate understanding. Once understood, you can apply it freely to your situation and see the same in others. This is wisdom.

Through understanding, I realized my ability to directly connect with the divine masculine and feminine powers and to take it at face value. I experienced this connection over and over again in ceremony, visions, and dreams yet instead of accepting it, I was always unsure of the visions; in essence thinking I wasn’t important enough to have this relationship. Eventually, coming to the realization that I’m a mystic was a major step on this path of discovery and getting to my true nature. Everyone has a calling in life; something they are really good at. I’m good at a lot of things but have never found something I’m exceptional at. I think I found it. I can enter into communion through ritual and ceremony with the help of my friend and ally Mapacho. The exploration of self and what makes me tick is a satisfying endeavour while I bide my time until I can return to Peru.

I am deluded enough to believe I am on the eternal path towards discovery of the mystery and am acquiring all the answers to fully unlock the secrets. I am able to navigate cultural norms with ease and I come off as being level headed, consistent, and dependable. Spend some time with me and you’ll start to wonder. To blow past cultural blocks is intoxicating. To unlock more of the mystery is the juice that keeps me going. I have to utilize all the tools at my disposal to gain knowledge and ferment the alchemical process of understanding, allowing me to advance past obstacles in my way on this journey. For example, plant medicines are one of the available paths. I got the message early on which was the sobering advice to not abuse the privilege. Enter into the sacred and subsequently integrate the experience, which is a lifelong process. Ideally, once a year is enough for a cycle of work. The curriculum is so dense there’s really no need for more. This advice was from a man who had integrity. He could have easily taken advantage of my enchantment with the plants but instead cautioned me on their use and the need to process the experience. Come back when you’re ready, you’ll know, but not before then.

I know the secrets of my shadow and the many faces of god. I went to the divine family reunion with Goddess and God - Mom and Dad. I understand who I am and my origins. I now have to formulate my intentions for continuing on the plant medicine path. I am an explorer at heart and I will continue, though I have definitely learned I have been gifted with all the tools I need to study here at home. I have a pretty good feeling and intuition my next course will involve energy and consciousness and the modality of transformation. I’ve seen my destiny in a grand visionary Vilca experience with these beings made of a form consisting of the love of the Goddess and enlivened by the constant transformational magic of God. They were spectacular multi-dimensional, shining, and crazy diamonds of light, cycling through the colour spectrum whilst welcoming me home. Why else did I have this vision?

As humans who have advanced cognitive abilities that allow us to know that we know, we are truly to become greater than the gods. It is the final stage of our evolutional development. The gods I speak of are the divine feminine and masculine. In duality, they exist as separate and must come together to create. Their creation is a forging of the two powers in the universe in this child. As children of the two divine powers, we come forth with the potential to evolve into a greater conscious form than the parents.

Non-duality is the merging together of the masculine and feminine into a singularity. The creation of duality is the separation of the two that were one. From the separation of these powers eventually develops the power of awareness as the freedom allows for objectification and an awareness of self. The evolution of awareness leads towards consciousness where we know we are aware. The evolution of consciousness follows the physical evolution of species. Where does this lead? The path of the evolution of consciousness leads towards the creation of entities that are greater than the gods; the gods being the elemental powers. The energetic forces become self-aware and we are the vehicle to accomplish this progression when we awake to the discovery of the power inherent within. Reclaiming your essential self, which is power, allows you to forge consciousness with power and create an imperishable and eternal being. The addition of the love of the divine feminine into the mix tempers the grandiose predilection towards destruction such a being may exhibit. The secret to eternal life is transformation. As I mentioned above, the eternal being will consist of a form of the love of the divine feminine in combination with the continual transformation of the rising and falling of the divine masculine energy as light cycling through the energetic colour spectrum. This new being is both dual and non-dual, depending on perspective. It is the merging of the two archaic eternal energies with the self-awareness enabled by duality. The all-encompassing creation is multi-dimensional and thus I can only describe what I saw in vision as a shining and crazy diamond composed of love and exhibiting ever transforming light. They are pure and holy beings of love and light and the forging of the two is my eternal destiny. These beings welcome those who can break free of one’s consciousness suppression into their realm for a glimpse of one's destiny.

Knowledge from four years ago did become understanding and the trivial doubts I carry with me about the experience fall by the wayside. 

lesson of the days

I left my house Monday morning in an uneventful manner as I had many times before. Because I question everything, this was the day that I finally questioned why I was doing this. I mean I like my comfortable life and doing the Monday to Friday thing allows me to navigate the vagaries of life with aplomb. However, there is something quite strange about falling into patterns of behaviour that reinforce your comfort zone and perpetuate your cultivated existence. Like MasterCard, stability has its rewards. In contrast, us humans like novelty and the colour in life comes from new experiences and not falling into traps that deliver the predictable results with the side effect being having to wonder: Is this what life is really all about?

I thought back to a dream I had recently where I lost my job and it caused me great upset. I guess I had to chew on that for a bit before moving on to the guts of the lesson. In retrospect, the teacher on the path I walk placed a huge obstacle to overcome in my lesson plan. First off, he had to scare the proverbial shit out of me, make me question my fortitude, and force me to summon courage in order to transform myself from weak to strong and from fearful to brave. I look back upon my journey and I now know they were tests, though at the time it was all so confusing. I successfully passed these tests after displaying fortitude and courage. I can say this knowing full well the outcome was in doubt. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to go back to my mediocre life and not have to face up to the challenge of a lifetime. Regret is a good motivator and ultimately wanting to walk this path meant I had to step up to the plate. Ultimately, I was successful and got my stripes. I know what I did and who I took on to prove myself. Now, within me is the undeniable knowledge I can handle whatever is thrown at me. The dream of losing my job was to challenge and take me a step further.

So, I left my house and the voice questioned me: What are you doing? Why are you spinning your wheels going through this whole routine day after day? I thought about it and in a way, I’m being of service to the attachments I have acquired throughout my life. It’s comfortingly noble! I have an excuse for why I’m not free - I’m being of service! There’s truth to it. I’m a good provider however without balance I lose my way. It was pretty incredible I was able to take up my sword on this path and get as far as I have come considering the cultural prohibitions and family ties that prevent most from exploring that which calls out to them. We all get the inkling of something perhaps greater however by the time we are ready to follow what is calling out to us we are too old and too tired. Those with families and respectable jobs don’t out of the blue trek into the jungle in order to lose their sense of self. The inner voice was now questioning why I’m afraid of giving up the day to day routine and stopping the pathological madness. I like assured meals, a little spending money in my pocket, and a soft mattress in a warm place to sleep at night. I have a family that relies on me and a dog that adores me. That’s what keeps me going.

Additionally, I have wondered why I can’t transcend destructive behaviours that plague me. In truth, I’m a psychologist's dream. Deep down, I know I have the resolve to overcome anything that is thrown at me; in fact, I have done it against all odds. I took on a Dragon and came out in one piece. I look back at and marvel that for two years and eight months I was a total ascetic, eschewing all the guilty pleasures in life. It was one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of humankind! I could do it again if need be. If the chase of transient worldly pleasures gets too much in my way I could go back to that lifestyle. In the end, I know it doesn’t free me; I’m just delaying the inevitable return and at the end of the road I will be left with a big bag of nothing.

This gets to the crux of the matter and the spiritual journey. Our lives are to be lived in the fires of transformation. Through suffering and the fires of this hell, steel is forged, burning away desires as dross, and tempering this new alloy with the love of the Goddess. Through this incarnation the path leads towards purification of your energetic signature, that in combination with conscious awareness, allows you to become a pure and holy being greater than the gods. By pure and holy I mean energy free of attachment and desire that weigh you down within a form made of love. The form is enlivened by the constant pulsing and transforming energy that keeps the spectre of death at bay. I’ve seen this outcome in vision so though it sounds like I’m nuts, it’s my truth. I’ve glimpsed my destiny and here on earth I walk a path towards that outcome. Within this lifetime we re-discover, transform, and become ready to fly free like the butterfly that drops the caterpillar body.

The lesson for the day was if you want to transcend the behaviours and desires that plague you, you have to extricate yourself from the scene you have trapped yourself in. It’s pretty clear in my behaviour I seek to destroy my cultivated life. I walk on the edge of ruin wondering what it would be like to fall into the abyss; waiting for someone to shove me in so I don’t have to be the bad guy who makes the decision to jump. As long as I remain doing the same old same old then the thirst for liberation and self-destruction will continue. Well, there’s my answer. My teacher was thorough in teaching this lesson; watching me fail over and over again, leading me to the edge of frustration before I realized why I can’t transcend what vexes me. My trade-off for this comfortable life is an inner cry for freedom at any price that keeps bubbling over and just gets worse. It’s like a leaky boat where thinking the hole is going to close up is the real madness. Ignoring the hole gives only temporary mental refuge from the situation. It’s just going to keep getting bigger until eventually you go down with the ship. Destiny proclaims I will leave the boat one way or the other. I can stay on the boat until it capsizes and then struggle to stay afloat or I can jump off the boat before the inevitable collapse, swim towards my freedom, and put destiny in my own hands.

It’s a worthwhile course I enrolled in. I like the no nonsense and tough answers I eventually grasp.

I came across Jordan Peterson on Wednesday talking about sacrifice and it stirred something within me.

https://youtu.be/ISHmPXOS_Og?t=898

I have limited use for Christianity, I’ll bluntly tell you Jesus is an avatar for the weak, however I can talk Christian theology with some good clarity and I understand the lessons of the Bible. I started thinking about sacrifice. In the Old Testament it’s pretty preposterous. Abraham was going to sacrifice his first-born son Isaac in order to curry favour with Yahweh until it was called off at the last moment. It’s what happened; for real. As well, the whole sacrificial system of the Old Testament is based upon sin. The wages of sin is death and as payment to escape the punishment the follower has to give up something of value which evolved into animal sacrifice. Okay, that’s the explanation so that’s out of the way. What intrigued me was the metaphor of giving something up of value in exchange for a boon which is ultimately reciprocity and something I am familiar with in partaking of plant medicines. You ask for something and offer something back in return. Reneging on the bargain is not a good idea as it was also stressed in the Old Testament. The conception of reciprocity does seem to be universal and there is a higher understanding to grasp as opposed to behavioural reconciliation through ritually killing a goat because you didn’t honour the sabbath. Intuition is telling me the absurdity of the biblical stories are pointing to a higher truth much like arguing the existence of Noah's ark is debating metaphor with today's science. That's what is truly absurd. I had a feeling that if I want to free myself of my behaviours I don’t like I need to sacrifice them. I need to recognize I value them however to go forward on my spiritual path involves sacrifice. It resonated deep within but I need to sit with it for a while before making a commitment.

The answers are finally coming. They always come fast when it’s time. I watched a Russell Brand video on Thursday where he described his drug use and hitting rock bottom.

https://youtu.be/PG6JP12OMPM?t=103

The takeaway for me from the video is how he explained the motivation behind all addictions. Addictions are an unconscious attempt at destruction; to annihilate the self and experience liberation. The filters of the perceived self are destroyed and you become free. That is the impulse behind the progression of addiction. The attempt at self-destruction just needs a vehicle - whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, food, risk taking etc. At first, the behaviour is fun however it eventually is used by the destructive impulse within to free oneself from the clutches of his fellow cultural enforcers.

This was the clearest explanation I have ever had of what I have experienced throughout my life. It’s no mere coincidence that I finally came across this confirmation as I did ask for answers to why I am wired the way I am with a predilection for self-destruction. On Monday morning that voice in my head said it will remain that way until I extricate myself from the life I have created. I was frustrated that I cannot beat the demon once and for all. I’m very good at avoidance however he just lays in wait for the next opportunity.

The demon is the Dragon; he’s the teacher in disguise, and he is one of the many faces of God. It’s a tough course in liberation however once you understand the truth, the destructive power of the Dragon is yours and leads you to destroying the chains that have bound you for so long and for so many incarnations. Once removed, you see God as the liberator and taste the sweet nectar of the vine of freedom. 

greater than the gods

I’m greater than the gods! Got your attention, didn’t I?

Why do we need to go into our shadow? You know, shadow work. The primary reason is to explore what you have buried, life traumas, issues you have not come to terms with, or haven’t accepted nor integrated into your life as of yet. Childhood traumas are a huge issue for a great deal of adults. There comes a great catharsis, relief, and letting go from acknowledging, coming to terms with, forgiving, and letting go of these energetic holds upon your condition. I lay claim to none of that as my childhood was relatively happy and I have no issues to explore from that period of my life that need closure. For sure, like every human on this planet, I have had some slights or difficult situations that have influenced the shaping of my life. I don’t talk about them but I haven’t buried them. Instead, I have chalked them up to experience.

So, personally examining shadow work is wanting to explore what makes me tick. When I reach deep down and need courage, or motivation, or to rise to the occasion to whom do I call on? When I need someone to blame for my shortcomings, who is there to take responsibility? Society? My parents? My shadow? These desires that keep tripping me up - where do they come from? Must be my shadow, right? The shadow is the toy box where everything is dumped into at the end of the day. There’s something comforting about having a reliable punching bag, holder of repressed emotions, and general scapegoat to lay off all my inadequacies.

The shadow is present within all life forms however it is only us humans that bury this part of us. Shadow is a misnomer; he is the divine masculine energy that pulses throughout the universe, enlivening the forms constructed by the divine feminine. So, it stands to reason that when you go off on a journey to find yourself you will encounter this god, entity, being, spirit, dragon, jaguar, adversary, and so on. And the same situation will occur with the feminine in the form of a goddess, lover, maiden, succubus, and fairy. This I write with some authority as I have experienced them both on this journey and they are conceptually my cosmic parents though it goes much deeper than that recognition in that as a gendered male I am both father and son. What I’m trying to get at in this musing is that every one of us human forms is a distinct biological form containing within them the same two spirits as mentioned above. The shadow I can discover, who at first meeting will scare the shit out of you, is the same spirit within all of us and it's my connection along with the Goddess to everyone on this planet. This knowledge lets me understand the basic makeup of everyone I meet, what they are going through, and at what stage of this discovery and awakening they are at. This puts me at a great advantage.

What is fascinating about our biological condition is that the all, the combination of feminine and masculine, has succeeded in creating a new entity that has autonomy. What I mean is that you are unique. You contain the signature of mom and dad however you are a blank slate; free to make of the opportunity with what you will. You consist of immortality and mortality. Through constant transformational magic of the masculine and re-birth magic of the feminine you transform mortality into immortality or as a sage would say, “ceaseless coming and going.” Another sage would explain this is the wheel of incarnation to which you would look for a way out through enlightenment.

The way out is to become greater than the gods. How would one go about that process? It involves combining conscious biological life with the eternal life force; in essence having the eternal energy become aware. That’s the divide. The separation of the two is found in the awareness. As a biological entity, I am aware of my surroundings; I am conscious. Energy is omnipresent but is not aware unless it has a vehicle to become aware much like light doesn’t shine unless it has a vehicle to allow for the condition of transformation from energy to light. The biological life form is what allows for a degree of consciousness of the energy, think of consciousness as light, however the biological form claims it all for themselves as opposed to an even split with what we eventually determine is our shadow. Consciousness as the light casts a shadow that we choose to not recognize. The divine energy that we do not recognize is the shadow. It’s the shadow because we buried that half of us as we became accepted into our human society and peculiarities of culture. And then we attached all desires and emotions we did not want to deal with to the shadow. We are the architect of the monster. To return to what was, we have to re-discover, come to terms with, and acknowledge the shadow. Apologize for our disregard and malice. Once re-integrated, the human partnership project can resume.

In totality, we contain in our form the essence of all there is. Waiting to be discovered is a goddess and a god; your celestial parents. The mother is love and wisdom who will do anything for her children. There is also jealousy and desire that arise from separating the feminine from the masculine. The father is courage, strength, valour, and reasoning allowing you to use your mental faculties to solve any problem put before you. He is also a dragon that rages and a rampaging jaguar that dominates and destroys those in his way. Coming forth as a man, I meet the father in the depths as my shadow. When I get to know him and re-discover this hidden relationship he becomes my teacher; teaching his son how to become a warrior and master his domain. The mother teaches me to love, play, and to help others in need. In addition, I discover my hidden soulmate; the maiden who makes me whole. The coming together of our being into one is beyond description. The attraction is intense and the fire burns within to explore this relationship.

When I look at my dog, I see the energetic powers of the universe having come forth in a biological form. My dog operates upon instinct for the most part. She has awareness, yet the differences between her species and mine is I can think about thinking and create constructs out of these intellectual feedback loops until I bring the concepts to life through desire.

I was thinking about this because I have a secret. I know I can become greater than the gods and by this, I mean my celestial parents; the divine feminine and masculine to which I refer from whence all comes forth. Humans are unique in that we are the result of the fount of the eternal energies that created the universe and we have conscious awareness and an intellectual capacity to understand that we know that we know. I’m not sure my dog knows she is aware or can conceptualize her situation but for the most part runs on instinct which in a way is a pre-programmed set of instructions activated by biological need. Animals don’t think about thoughts or sit down to meditate in order to give their thinking mind a break. What I mean about becoming greater than the gods is I am unique in that I am aware. I also know of the power within that animates all of creation yet operates in a shadowy world, obfuscated from the consciousness of biological life. The power, my parents, exist as a twinning of feminine and masculine that I have interacted with and have invited to come forth within the vehicle of self. This is a fancy way of saying that I no longer need to seek power; instead I am power. I can shine with the light of man and express the love of the woman. I can rescue both from the shadowy world where they were left buried in order for my biological form to take centre stage for the majority of my life. The downhill ride of my life span has allowed me to let go and enjoy the gravitational force that propels me along on the path. I don’t have to do the difficult climb up the mountain anymore. That part of the journey is in the rear-view mirror. I let it go and allow the divine part of me to come forth. A goddess and a god that are conscious, aware, and eternal. I’m the good son. 

do you believe in god?

At multiple points in our life we face this strange question: Do you believe in God? Curiously, it’s not a one-time occurrence. Over and over again you are asked this question and I have always found it catches me off guard and I have an internal reaction to the question. You can’t escape the question because for some it's a veiled way to judge you by how you answer. The religious will know they can count on you to join in their groupthink if you answer in the affirmative and the atheist will give you a knowing nod if you answer no. As well, there is the child who innocently asks you the same question with no ulterior motive. Because they look up to you and can be influenced by your answer, I’m always hesitant to answer.

I have a friend on a similar journey who has been using this word quite regularly as of late and it is the catalyst for why I actually wanted to concretize my experience with “God” so the next time someone asks me this question I can wax eloquently for a nauseatingly long time about what I know.

Now, I said, "what I know" because I’m not comfortable with faith and belief. Indeed, it is possible you can know and the remnants of my coming of age as a man of reason and logic still influence my thought processes. In fact, I wouldn’t be walking this spiritual path if I didn’t think I could know. I would have abandoned ship a long time ago. I’m not saying that I’ll ever know all the answers because I won’t but as long as I keep going on the path I’ll acquire knowledge which will then lead to understanding and eventually you will see me as a madman on the street corner quoting biblical verses about the need to repent and the coming apocalypse. Okay, scratch the last part. Instead, my goal is to be able to formulate my answer to this strange question in a way that will plant a seed.

I’m surprised it has taken me this long to actually sit down and write out my answer to the question. I say this because when I reached middle age 13 years ago, I resolutely decided I was going to discover the origin of beliefs. I considered myself an atheist but I was curious as to why humans had these strange beliefs in god, gods, and the like. We have a great capacity for the irrational however at the same time it is always balanced out by the level-headed among us and for a great deal of human history this question would have been preposterous to even ask. The rational and irrational took this for granted and did not question the existence of the gods. I pondered the reasons for these unchallenged beliefs; deducing that superstition and wishful thinking along with a desire for an explanation of why things are the way they are in order to find meaning and purpose to life were plausible as answers. I also hypothesized maybe there was more to it than my rational brain could comprehend and perhaps the mystics of yore were able to make a connection with ethereal spirits. At any rate, I was supremely self-confident in my ability to eventually find the answer. It’s something that has served me well in my life - I know if I put my mind towards a problem I’ll get the answer. That in combination with the realization I’m a mystic at heart will lead me into uncharted territory the sober logicians among us fear to tread. As a champion of reason and logic, it is quite surprising that I can approach the mystical and explore. The scientist can only get so far before they start trying to map out the experience instead of letting go and free-falling into the abyss.

When I started out on this path, I investigated the world religions of current day and antiquity and became fascinated with the ancient Egyptians. The soaring majestic structures of the land and outpouring of religious literature of their culture led me towards an intellectual acceptance that allowed me to take them at their word. I believed what it was they were trying to convey. Would you build an unfathomable pyramid based upon superstition? Not only that, but the construction of multiple pyramids plus hundreds of temples. This allowed me to turn my efforts towards figuring out how they did it. By it I mean not how they managed to physically build a pyramid which is a mystery in itself, but how they came into contact with their gods. To make a long story short, in essence a study of the great goddesses of the land gave me the answer. The great goddess Hathor at her temple in Denderah was propitiated and approached through ecstatic dance, percussive and rhythmic music making, and intoxication. I connected this to archaic shamanism and a series of fortunate events then led me into the Amazon basin to drink this psycho-spiritual potion called Ayahuasca. Within a half hour of drinking that cup I had my answer.

Knowledge and understanding are quite different concepts. Just because I now knew there was a realm of spirits, gods, and goddesses didn’t mean I understood what it was all about. That has taken over seven years to get to the point where I can confidently answer the question, "do you believe in God?"

And here’s my answer. I believe in God and Goddess. I’ve met them. I have spoken at length with both of them.

As a mystic, it's actually not surprising I can do this. There currently isn't an academy for aspiring mystics that award you with a diploma in recognition of your power. Instead, you just know. It's the same with enlightenment where we look externally for confirmation of our spiritual mastery. It's quite funny to me. 

God and Goddess are my eternal parents who are the omnipresent flowing energy that are the fundamental makeup of everything in this universe. Everything is energy and the energy is the interplay of God and Goddess. The masculine divine is the acceleration of the pulse of energy and the divine feminine is the deceleration of the energy. She creates form and he provides the form with the spark of life. She promotes the coming together of all through love and he seeks liberation through destruction of form. The attraction between the two and the constant transformation at the heart of all is just what is. When they are together in a cosmic embrace we have darkness and potential. Come the Big Bang we have separation and light. And the appearance of a multitudinous of form as in their offspring. Within creation plays out the continual eternal pulse of just what is and because we have become self-aware we develop consciousness and can sense the energetic patterns of the universe. The evolution of this conscious awareness is the gift of mom and dad. Their children were conceived to become greater than the gods through the combination of energy and consciousness. The ultimate gift of love consists of eternal life in combination with knowing you are eternal. Your parents created this for you and bequeathed it all to their children.

My father doesn’t suffer fools. It has to be this way to teach you to be a brave warrior, full of strength and courage. Stand up for yourself. Don’t be a coward. The many faces of God are all my cosmic dad; the supreme actor whose methods of teaching are harsh. In addition, he is like the genie with the three wishes. He will offer you whatever you want and the smart play is turn him down and put him back in the bottle. I chafed at the god of the Old Testament for so long until I saw in him one of the many faces of God. Meet him in this guise and the phrase, “fear and trembling” comes to life. Now, I read the story of the Jews and see in it what happens when you ask for power. These are stories about power, reciprocity, recompense, and the consequences of not living up to your end of the bargain.

My mom created this playground called earth that us ungrateful siblings are fouling at an accelerated rate. I remember when I started out in earnest on the hero’s journey to reveal the mystery and find my treasure. She knew it could end in disaster because the ultimate alpha male, my dad, pulls no punches and will kill you if he must to teach you a lesson. She tried to hold on to me, to protect me, but eventually realized I had to do it. I was ready and she had to let me go. She gave me her cloak of protection and sent me on my way to face the dragon.

Throughout our lives the answer to the mystery stares us right in the face. We just don’t see it. As a parent you want everything for your children. You sacrifice. You witness them rebel and try to make it on their own and you let them go because you know it has to be this way. You want to step in and make it all work for them; to give them advice and a helping hand but ultimately you know for growth you let them find their way and hope that one day they find their way back home. I have walked this path for a long time now and I have returned to the steps of the front door of mom and dad. The greatest gift is the discovery of just who you are. I see it clearly now and the tears are flowing as I ready for the reunion. We are all the sons and daughters of God and Goddess. The two divine parents are the essence of my being and I carry them with me on my forever path.