commuted

If you make near and dear friends in prison, then do you leave when your sentence is commuted? If your release from prison will hurt the ones you love, do you still do it or do you remain in prison with them? Maybe you leave so that they know to follow when it is their time. The weight on the heart must be great when you sense the truth and are shown the door to the freedom for which you have longed and waited while in chains.

The jailer and I are now friends. He has given me the key and I can leave if I want to. Why am I still here? I busy myself with attachments which mostly revolve around taking care of my responsibilities as head of a household. I keep involved with trivial matters in order to maintain a purpose. I don't want to let anyone down, nor do I want to extinguish the flame completely. I need a few things to light me up in order to stay invested. Greed doesn't do it anymore; I want to get rid of stuff. Food has become just a utility. Lust is cyclically interesting, but the attraction has run its course. I don't envy others as I know they don't know they are in prison. It goes back to the idea that you are in hell and how embarrassing it would be to find out you became famous in hell. Do I have pride? I take pleasure in a job well done. Ultimately, I know all will pass and to rest on your laurels is fools gold. I've never seen the purpose of rage and taking revenge on others. I have slowly learned to let it go and disengage. Do I want to head into the sunset of retirement and consume what is rightfully mine? Do I want to waste away while others serve me? I can't see that happening as being of service to others is where I have found anything that sustains a passion for life. I don't like the feeling of being a burden.

I just enumerated the seven deadly sins. They are a good guide towards understanding attachment and what keeps you in prison. The chance of fulfillment of desire is the drug that keeps you hypnotized so you don't see the bars on your jail cell. When you first see your chains, you will deny it. You will not believe it is so and run back to your master. Freedom is scary and will cause a great upset. Such a thing happened to me. I remember returning to work after scaring myself with losing my chains and feeling relief. I just wanted things to go back to how they were. I felt I never should have gone exploring. Eventually, I returned to the perturbation of consciousness, again the veil was lifted, and this time I broke the spell.

I laugh because it's what I wanted though it causes the game to lose its meaning. I wanted to know, and the result was the purpose of the game evaporates. We are here to fulfill our desires. The carnival of the seven deadly sins allows us to get our fill. When you tire of the carnival you are free to leave. Chains are a device of your own making. You put them on, and you can take them off when you are ready.

I have walked the path back home and the garden of the heart is just up ahead. It's the next turn-off on the highway of life. What's left? I've gone through the gamut of possibilities, and I've seen the answer. To remain is to be of service in order to wake up and help the others who want to awaken. To lead by example and if someone is curious about the path then to offer help. No two paths are the same and so I can point someone in the direction that will lead them to the difficult truth, if that is what they seek.