mercury

People don't like honesty.

Yes, that will lead to accusations that you are a jerk.

What do you do then?

You lie.

I thought that was immoral or something.

It is.

So, your whole life is a lie.

That is correct.

That's how you play and survive in the world.

You live a lie.

No wonder people are fucked up.

Yeah, and then when you get older and start questioning things there are these spiritual outfits that invite you into their world by dangling the carrot of reclaiming your authentic true self.

Yes, it's seductive and these enterprises have got their feel on the pulse of the fake lives we lead.

You then get sucked into their vacuum.

They take advantage of you by offering practices that will help you reclaim your true self.

What's wrong with that?

Have you ever wondered what your true self is and what they want?

Yes, of course.

What do you think about it?

My true self when revealed creates a reaction in others where I am rejected or they don't like me.

Why is that?

I can't be controlled.

Why not?

I'm mercury.

What does mercury contain?

Your story.

People want your story.

They get it in their hot little hands and then it slips away.

That must be frustrating.

Sure is.

It generates a lot of animosity towards you.

I've noticed.

They think they can get a handle on me and are attracted to me.

As time moves along, they see it is a fool and I'm discarded.

Why?

I'm of no use to them.

So, you think people just want to use you?

Obviously.

That's a terrible outlook on life.

I know.

Prove that I'm wrong.

I'm not sure your family feels that way.

What would happen if I stopped providing for everyone?

They wouldn't put up with you.

Exactly.

Yeah, you're a lot to put up with.

They put up with me because I am a provider.

If I didn't provide, where would I be?

Alone.

Why?

Everyone would leave you.

You are an attractive provider.

Why?

You don't complain about it.

You ever noticed people taking advantage of each other?

Yeah, all the time.

It's how the world works.

It is good to compare it to a business and how you profit off each exchange.

You need movement, whether that's in financial markets or simple buying and selling.

The transaction creates the asymmetry.

The asymmetry is profit and loss.

That's how all relationships are defined.

In the Amazon jungle you were taught about reciprocity.

Yes, because it's understood that you will ask for something or take something and you are to provide a return that is equivalent in value.

Why?

So, you don't create an imbalance.

The imbalance creates problems.

Why?

It will seek balance.

Everything will be balanced out.

It's best that you ensure this by your own deeds and not wait for the Karma police to rectify the situation.

That's a wildcard.

You don't know what will happen.

So, you think people just want to use you?

Yeah.

A relationship is supposedly a mutual exchange agreement.

Seems like it.

Each partner gets something out of it.

In a romantic relationship one of the partners is probably looking for a lover and the other one is providing that service in exchange for security or access to something the other has.

Yes, such as people who sleep with those in power in exchange for something like a role in a movie or prestige because of the person's standing within society.

What's your motivation for a relationship of that sort?

It was always for sex.

I didn't want any of the other stuff.

I didn't care about it or want to get involved with it.

Why?

I didn't understand relationships.

I think that's most men.

Yeah, it's kind of funny.

You go into these things blind.

There should be a training course for men concerning the repercussions of their behaviour.

Or, have their fathers teach them about it if they can.

What would you teach?

Always keep in mind nothing is free.

If you pursue a relationship with a woman, it is transactional.

It might not seem like it initially, but it is coming, and you will pay.

If you could do it all over, what would you do?

Nothing.

What do you mean?

I'd do the same thing.

Why?

It led me to understanding.

I had to experience it before I understood it.

You can read about things, but they mean nothing until you experience them.

Like the Odyssey?

A great example.

It's the hero's journey of a man encoded in fantastical stories and metaphor.

Once you undergo a similar initiation you understand it.

Relationship theory you wouldn't understand until you go through it.

I'm not sure a course would help.

In fact, it would prevent you from having a relationship.

Yes, but isn't that a good thing?

You are shielded from the pain and suffering it brings.

Yes, that is true; however, you are better for it.

How?

You start to see things for how they are.

You can see how the world functions through the example of your own personal relationships.

I'm not sure people will figure that out.

Not all do, but it will help awaken some people.

So, relationships are a lie?

Not necessarily.

Some will lay out the terms immediately; however, in that case most walk away.

Why?

Because the terms aren't great.

They see upfront the cost and it isn't worth it.

It's like leasing a vehicle.

If you understood the terms, you'd walk away.

It's a loss.

Get a used car.

Right, so the cost is hidden.

Correct.

You don't figure out the cost of the relationship until after you make the commitment.

You sign something.

Anything.

That's the hinge.

I thought people just like each other and that's enough in terms of you getting along and sharing interests.

Yes, you are naive.

I was; I'm not anymore.

Would you do it again?

Not in this lifetime.

You'd have to wipe the slate and memory clean in order to consider it.

I think that's the deal with you and the Goddess.

Your cyclical return wipes the game board and you start over.

The memory is retained in your subconscious self.

You have two basic selves.

There is one who is eternal and he doesn't come and go.

He remains and knows.

There is your cyclical coming forth by day self who lives and dies.

He's the flower from the subconscious dirt and roots.

Dion to Paul.

Paul lives the life.

Then a return to Dion.

And then another rebirth.

If you awaken Dion in this incarnation he lets you in on all the past secrets and the game.

If you don't, you live out your life unaware of how many times you have done this.

How did I do it?

You stumbled onto the Goddess path via ancient Egypt.

You then went looking for her and accidentally woke Dion up.

He was already awake; I just never acknowledged him.

Awakening is acknowledgement.

That's a good way to put it.

He was kind of sleepy.

Yes, he was in the dark.

I brought him into the light.

Then we had to figure each other out.

My life is now the shared experience of the two of us.

There is trust between us.

What's the purpose of this?

Well, Paul will eventually need to leave when the body gives out.

Dion will remember him and keep him awake through the ordeal.

Why?

Because Paul did the same for Dion.

We tend to treat each phase as a singular experience.

You are one or the other, instead of both.

Why?

Myopic tendencies of self.

So, you are saying there is another possibility and you figured it out?

Yes.

Isn't this a relationship?

It is.

It's based on trust and friendship.

Relationships can work if they are based on those principles.

Way to tie this all back together.

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This piece argues that much of ordinary social life is built on managed dishonesty and hidden transaction. People claim to value honesty and authenticity, but in practice direct truth makes others uncomfortable, so most relationships depend on concealment, performance, and strategic lying. Spiritual communities then exploit this dissatisfaction by promising access to one’s “true self,” while often becoming just another system of control, identity, and exchange.

From there, the writing develops a hard view of human relationships as essentially reciprocal bargains. Whether in family, romance, or broader society, people want something from one another—security, sex, status, provision, usefulness—and the real terms are often hidden until commitment is made. The speaker sees this not as cynicism for its own sake, but as recognition of the same principle taught elsewhere as reciprocity: every exchange creates an asymmetry that eventually seeks balance.

The piece then shifts from social critique into mythic psychology. Romantic experience is framed as a painful but necessary initiation: you do not truly understand relationships by theory, only by living through them. That lived experience becomes a gateway into a deeper model of selfhood, where Paul is the finite, cyclical, incarnated self and Dion is the deeper, enduring, subconscious or eternal self. Awakening Dion means recovering memory, pattern, and knowledge that usually remain hidden beneath ordinary life.

By the end, the piece turns the whole discussion back on itself and offers a partial redemption: not all relationships are false if they are grounded in trust and friendship rather than covert extraction. The most important relationship becomes the one between Paul and Dion, where each keeps the other awake across time, life, and death. So the essay moves from “all relationships are transactional” toward a subtler conclusion: most are, but there is another possibility when mutual remembrance, trust, and friendship enter the picture.