all is vibration

The first time I drank Ayahuasca the Great Goddess told me all is vibration as she was leaving at the end of the night. I remember my finger tapping quickly and rhythmically on the maloca floor as I was coming down back into my body. This knowledge stuck with me though I didn’t really understand it. I wrote a poem about this encounter after I returned home that summed up my feelings.

i am the music

celestial songbird,

with notes of grace.

this warbling Goddess

sings to me.

she tells me

all is vibration.

do i understand?

maybe, maybe not.

the time signature

slowly changes.

forever playing,

the chorus repeats:

her song of love,

forgiveness and longing.

my life is that song.

i am the music.

When I turned 50 I went on a trip where I was determined to finish my spiritual climb up the mountain and I arranged the trip so that I would physically climb mountains. At that point in my journey, I had encountered the dragon plus the requisite fear that meeting inculcates and as a result in order to continue on in my search I successfully transformed myself into a brave warrior. Nothing was going to stop me now on my quest for knowledge. I look back at that point in my life and realize I had the answers I was looking for but hadn’t integrated them yet into understanding but I correctly knew I was at the point where I could finish my climb. I ended up in the Andes mountains in Ecuador drinking Huachuma in the backyard of a local shaman. During the sessions I was given the information of how vibration, frequency, and resonance work and assigned homework to piece it all together so I could fully understand it. Here is what I wrote about this lesson:

It was demonstrated that you can temporarily lower your frequency signature through the use of sound and employing mantras. When your frequency matches another’s, you are in harmony and this resonance allows you to become one with the other that is expressing the same oscillation. First, it was explained how this is the reason why people are attracted to each other. The example given is when two people fall in love as It is not necessarily rational but neither can fight it because they are locked together in harmony. Once I understood this, the lesson was extrapolated into ancient technologies and I was shown how the pyramids were built. Once you find the frequency of the stone you wish to move then you alter the frequency of your workers to match and it allows for easy manipulation of megaton stones as the stone and the builder have become one. The assembling of these grand monuments then became a matter of showcasing design skills as the construction became an execution of plans by manipulating frequency through sound to achieve resonance. While being taught this I kind of thought I already might know this. It just became a case of remembering what I already knew. I became elated with this teaching that was being flooded into my thought processes like a flower opening up to the rising sun. I knew that this knowledge being revealed to me involved homework on my part to verify it as well as delving into mantra that can alter my vibrational signature. This renewed my spirit and I was so enjoying the day with Grandfather. My homesickness abated and I felt in great spirits to finish my odyssey. San Pedro then went on to explain to me how a master frequency or sync pulse is the one we all attach to and creates what we think is reality. It is the hypnotic pulse of who we like to call Satan or the world system/order. To get out of the matrix stop locking to this pulse, create your own, or practice altering your frequency so you don't get attached and stuck in this master world oscillation. Slow time down by raising your good vibrations and leave Satan's morass behind. Be the master of your own world and create your own vibration which will cause people to follow you instead of the common world vibration, which in mythology is the pied piper playing a tune.

I let the process unfold and didn’t try and force it, figuring understanding would come when I was ready. Little did I know my expectations of the length of time a course should take and the time span of courses offered by Grandfather Huachuma were wildly different. At any rate, it has been about four years and the lessons and understanding are hitting me with full force.

The world is made of vibration. The vibration is the interplay between the divine feminine and masculine. The pull of the feminine on the masculine keeps him from accelerating beyond the speed limit of light. The force of the masculine keeps the feminine from decelerating into imperceptible motion. The alternating motion created by their attraction is the frequency of the vibration.

Consciousness is a fancy name for frequency. By this, I mean all the talk of raising consciousness is the same as raising your vibration and locking into a different and higher frequency. Energy is the interplay of masculine and feminine. The game is acceleration versus deceleration. When the masculine is dominant we have liberation from form. When the feminine takes centre stage, we have form. I live in a world of form and I’m in a lower frequency where the energy has locked to a pulse that is slow enough to allow objects to coalesce. The masculine acceleration is used by the feminine to create the massive spin of form resulting in a gravitation pull that allows for biological life in a relatively stable environment. In essence, the wise feminine uses the masculine force against himself. Check and mate! The earth is a playground created by Pachamama for her children. The destructive power of the masculine accelerant moves the game along and doesn’t allow the form to stay forever in one piece thus our world is defined by change. So, consciousness is the rate of vibration that the drama is taking place upon. Within the drama is a spectrum of frequencies that are accessible while in a human body.

The world, as in culture, has a dominant frequency of greed and scarcity that we lock to. It is not set in stone and can change however it is the current paradigm that we play within and in times of frustration call the rat race. As individuals, we are all different and have our own dominant frequency we operate at and most us can move within a couple of these frequencies with relative ease as well as having access to more levels of consciousness. For the most part, most of us never reach these higher levels.

I always kind of smirked when people would bring up astrology and the zodiac. It’s preposterous to a rational man like myself. I mean come on, there’re twelve signs and of the seven billion plus people on earth we can fit everyone into one of those 12 signs like a cookie cutter human? Sorry, does not compute. Alan Watts had a great explanation for the phenomenon. I’ll paraphrase it as your sign is a snapshot of the state of the universe at your time of birth since everything is cyclical. Thinking like an ancient in that you are connected to everything and an expression of the universe, this made sense to me. I read a lot of Carl Jung and came across his 12 Jungian archetypes and did the test. It accurately pegged me as a Sage and this got me thinking if his brilliant mind could boil people down to 12 personality types maybe this astrology thing was on to something?

I’ve been a little obsessed with the Hindu chakras as of late and have been studying them on and off for about a year, letting concepts sink in, and incorporating them into my spiritual practice. Due to my work with the Mesa and Mapacho, I’m very familiar with my inner power and how to manifest it. My nightly dalliances with Kundalini energy moving up with great turbulence through my energy centres allows the inquisitive part of me to try and figure it out. She repeatedly moves up through the seven energy centres and I finally put two and two together. Those chakras are the different frequencies readily available to us humans that I had been given instruction about during my time with Huachuma in the mountains of Ecuador. They are levels of consciousness and everyone of us has access to them but we tend to live within just two of the frequencies. I started doing this exercise where to every one I know I assign a dominant chakra and a secondary chakra. Of course, I easily figured out my two.

The crown chakra is a state of being you can visit but to remain there would take major sacrifice. I am reminded of the stories Ram Dass tells about his guru Maharaji, who spends the day counting his beads and mumbling to himself “ram, ram, ram, ram…” It now seems clear to me what he was doing. He was staying high; so high he stayed in omnipotent crown chakra god mode as long as he focussed on that vibration. I’m sure he would come down to teach but then had his method for getting back up to the crown.

Enlightenment in this context seems to be the process of changing vibration and accessing all frequencies available to an eternal being ensconced within a human body. When you can light them all up and hit the jackpot, instead of just a couple at a time, that seems to be an actual process you could accurately call enlightenment. As you approach the white light time slows down and welcomes you to eternity. I wonder what frequencies of experience await when it comes time to drop the body? When you once again become omnipotent the levels of consciousness must be astronomical. Something I'll look forward to!

Ego is dependent upon the common cultural frequency to which you lock. It’s comfortable to act within your role in a narrowly defined drama. When you alter your consciousness, the ego flags it as a threat. You think you are being hypnotized when in essence you are being deprogrammed and given freedom to scan the consciousness spectrum which causes the ego to go on high alert. The old dependable you, who can be manipulated by the power centres within culture, is waking up. If you keep it up you are going to start breaking character and really tasting all life has to offer.

Okay, so let’s take a quick look at the seven frequencies of the subtle body. Our base chakra called the Muladhara is our wild nature before all the overlays of life are added. It’s our natural physical nature and we see this energy on display within animals. It’s our survival instinct that allows us to go into warrior mode for preservation or run from the danger magnified by fear if necessary. Meet a free-spirited person and they likely have this chakra as one of their main frequencies they traverse. The second chakra is the home to our lusts, desires, passions, and urges which also fuels the creative juices within us. We all know someone who expresses these traits explicitly out in the open while culture forces most of us to bury these passions which in turn causes them to build up to the point the energy must be satiated. Gluttony unchecked and the desire for more is found at this level of consciousness. Satiating desire is so satisfying and thus this is a hard obstacle to get past. The third chakra is our personal power. This powerful mental energy is found in politicians and those who strive to make it in this world. It’s the main frequency of the world, forcing everyone to play the game of fame and fortune to survive. The egomaniac pulses with this power. Lower chakras are what we normally experience in this world and here we find the final block as we strive and drive towards personal greatness. From this "all for me" energetic vibration it’s a short jump to the heart chakra. Breaking past the obstacle of selfishness leads you directly into the heart. The heart is the home of love and compassion that we constantly confuse with the second chakra. Eventual understanding leads to the recognition that in a human body this chakra in the centre is where we find the answer we seek. In duality, the only answer is to unconditionally love all. We are all of the same unfolding energetic pulse. I am you as you are me and we are all together. The fifth chakra is the throat chakra where we learn of the power we have to influence others through our speech. It is describing the magnetic personality of many that can be used to influence and gain power. As with all the levels of vibration, it can be used for positive or negative means. Personally, this chakra reminds me to live in truth and drop the narrative I create about myself. As well, be conscious now that I am older of the effect my words have on the younger generations who are still seeking out their place in life. The sixth chakra is the third eye in the psychic plane. As a natural born mystic, I know all about this chakra though I spent most of my life not knowing of my nature or my connection. Once I discovered a way to alter my consciousness, making a connection with the spiritual realm became second nature. There is a tie in to the creative energy of the second chakra which hints at the sacredness of sexual energy to the spiritual. The seventh chakra is the crown chakra where you return to omnipotence and find yourself as god/goddess. Like I said earlier, you can’t stay there but it’s fun to get a glimpse of omnipotence.

How long can you stay there, well, this goes for any of the vibratory states, is determined by your mastery of each level. From a purely colloquial standpoint, the language used within spiritual circles is pretty spot on. Terms like “I feel blocked” or “I’m going to level up” and “good vibes/bad vibes” are bandied about and the expression of these truths comes from a place within that knows. It really is quite fascinating that deep down we all know what it is we are striving for and the game becomes finding the spark that will help you remember what it is you already know. If you are chasing personal power and can’t give it up you will feel blocked and never reach the next level. Same goes for our lusts, whether that is food, drink, money, sexual pursuits, carnal pleasures and the like. If your vibration constantly pulls you towards these pursuits you’ll expend your precious energy in this frequency. It’s pretty simple to understand once you make the connections, though to put all into practice is a different story.

I was thinking the other night while smoking Mapacho about the great debt I have to some of my spiritual teachers. My rock is the Great Goddess. The Maestro of Maestros is who I call the Dragon. The three main human influences on my path have been Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and don Howard and they all brought their unique strengths and teachings to the table. Alan Watts appeals to me because of his ability to intellectually break down worldwide spiritual concepts which allows for understanding. Ram Dass is very different in that his journey was experiential and there is something to him that is very genuine. His admission that he is a spiritual dilettante is very endearing. I mean why not? The goal of a spiritual discipline should lead you to the god within and the vibratory nature of the universe. How you get there is of no real concern. I met don Howard at a time in my life when I needed guidance on the spiritual path and he provided a place I could trust as well as introducing me to concepts and experiences I would never have come across. The power of the Mesa and my love of Mapacho are directly related to my good fortune of coming into his sphere of influence and I don’t think it was accidental. I mean, I can’t envision my life path and all I have discovered without having met the wizard. Anyway, I bring up these three men because their teachings are multi-faceted and you can listen to them over and over again because when you’re ready you will grok the teaching. I usually joke about listening to Alan Watts’ lectures about ten times before I finally understand the topic. Ram Dass’ teachings are simpler and more heart based. They are laid out pretty straightforward and in this way he is being a conduit for his guru Maharaji. I have mentioned before the simple teaching of Maharaji telling him to "Love all and tell the truth.” This advice is wildly transforming. I happened upon one of his earlier lectures and he was talking about vibration and everything was lining up with what I have discovered in my own experimentation. It’s funny that of course now this is resonating with me. This led to me remembering a three-word slogan he uses. Love Serve Remember. Love all, Serve all, and Remember God.

I grew up chafing at religion, God, and the like so the use of the word God is always slightly problematic. Ram Dass talks of God, guru, and self all being one so I get what he means by remembering God. I finally made the connection of the missing link of vibration and it relates to what this blog post is all about. Maharaji would sit all day with his blanket and mumble “ram, ram, ram, ram…”. Ram being God. Everyday, in his notebook he’d write two pages of “ram, ram, ram, ram…”. He’d have his beads in his hands constantly counting them while remembering God. He mastered vibration and was using these techniques to stay in the crown chakra! So, he gives the simple instruction “Remember God.” You want to hang out at this level of consciousness then it’s really easy. Spend every waking moment doing acts that will bring you to God. You want to be in the heart chakra then Love All and Serve All. That’s it. Easy, right?

the serpent power

This study of tantra has opened up a liberating line of thinking. It has led me to experience the chakra energy centres within the subtle body non-linearly instead of treating them as a conceptual ladder of ascension that symbolize achievement of spiritual bona fides. What I mean is all the energy within the body can be experienced and it’s all sacred. Instead of treating the lower chakras such as the second chakra of sexual energy as a gross manifestation of energy that needs to be refined and purified, I was shown that the creative power which sustains life is the direct result of this energy. This knowledge has been staring me in the face and I have been denying it all my life due to cultural hang-ups about sex. Once it was pointed out to me, I immediately connected to this wisdom and felt so free. It does tie into liberation where you let go of your narrative and the hold culture has on you and just sit with what you experience. It’s so natural and yet sexual energy is denied and buried in our culture. It is the rocket boost to send you up on your way in your journey of ascension after unification and transformation.

Another revelation is the nature of each of the chakra energy centres and how we have subsequently organized, structured, and placed them into a hierarchy. Once again, it is through liberation of thought I connected with different ways of perceiving energy. It was pointed out by a teacher that in meditation you don’t experience these states in the order you read about them. I definitely already knew that but and it’s strange this fact had to be pointed out to me so I could register and acknowledge the reality of these vibrational centres. Perhaps I thought I was an outlier? The energy centres are non-linear and can be accessed independently of the others. Quite often in meditation you may find yourself in the higher states and you will notice your access was not a linear and structured progression to get there. First off, I’ve experienced a purple energy, followed by an energy that resembles an eye, as well as a bluish energy encircled by gold speckles. These are the higher spiritual states yet they are what I experience during deep meditation. The lower chakra centres on the ascending scale I have never directly experienced in meditation, though curiously with the plant medicine Huachuma they manifest as smouldering hot red and orange flames of passion that lead to the heart and a green energy becomes palpable. The power experienced is non-linear and it’s our left hemispheric brain which takes a perceptual experience, devoid of a linear defining characteristic, and organizes them into some kind of achievement to be ascended a step at a time. It’s very funny to see the process that the masculine mind tries to overlay upon the non-structured feminine.

As with all attempts of defining experiences on this path, it’s near impossible to fit chakras into a non-linear or linear box. Though I realized I can access their respective vibratory states in a non-linear fashion, the actual linear ladder like climb is the stuff of the masculine hero on his journey of ascension. Each power centre acts as a block on the path and the one that holds your particular predilections is the most arduous of them all to break free of. In my case, I found a dragon that prevented full access to this tree of life however I was able to move past him after developing a little courage and bravery. The second chakra of life passions, desires, lusts, and urges has been my particular bugaboo and the biggest block upon my path. It wasn’t until I understood the vibratory nature of existence that I was able to master this frequency. Onwards towards the third chakra and my egoistic aspirations and personal power. Like all, I have selfishness however I have never exalted myself or tried to take advantage of others for personal gain. The one roadblock I do see in this frequency is spiritual inflation. To put it bluntly, I know I’m god. That’s a tough one to not succumb to inflating one’s outlook upon themselves. I think it’s kind of funny and I know you’re god too so I don’t think I’ll get too stuck. It’s the next chakra, the heart, that I’ll need to spend some time on. Head up and heart forward.

In addition, chakras are dualistic so that each energy centre has a positive and negative charge. For instance, the second chakra can undulate with desire or can express the awesome ability to create. The throat chakra gives you the power of words to use to enchant, influence, or tell the truth. It’s your choice in how you want to use the power bestowed by the flowering of the energy.

As with most experiences on my spiritual journey, I experienced the coming on and rising of the kundalini energy and had no idea what was going on. Looking back on my early experiences with the plant magic of Ayahuasca and Huachuma, I can see how powerful they are for changing consciousness in addition to taking you into states of energetic rapture where it’s trial by fire. Even if I had studied tantric yoga and was intellectually immersed in all outcomes of the psychedelic states, nothing compares to actually being in the eye of the storm. The second time I drank Huachuma, my whole body started vibrating with the energy reaching a crescendo that brought me to my knees. The sensation was this fluttering within that was very strong. Think of a giant moth buzzing behind your ear with a great vibration but that being within your body. I felt my heart opening but wasn’t scared by the effect it was having on my heart. I could very easily see someone thinking they are having a heart attack. Instead, I just stayed on the ground with my whole body in some kind of a pre-orgasmic state. I closed my eyes and saw two huge serpents flanking an incredible ball of intense light. I held out my hands for others to touch so they could feel the energy and someone else wondered what I was experiencing. I blurted out “serpent energy” which was strange because I just said it without thinking. Throughout the rest of the day I was seeing serpent shapes in the ground and cycling in and out of highly energetic states.

I had no idea at the time what happened. I was taken aback by all of it and was even unsure at the time if I should drink Huachuma again. I convinced myself to experience this potentiator of energy a couple days later and looking back I can clearly see what happened. I was blasted into the heart chakra. I sat on the boat on the Amazon river and felt this incredible cosmic bliss. My heart was wide open and I looked up into the sky and this rainbow patch formed. We got off the boats and I felt such love for the tribe we were visiting. I physically started seeing energy manifest all around me and I was confused by this novel experience and spiralled down again. When we returned to the boats I sat beside the shaman don Rober and once again my heart opened but it was so strange. How bizarre that I’d spent my life with a heart so closed that when it was opened I was confused by the sensation. As we returned to the Sanctuary, I looked into the distance and saw manifest heavenly apparitions of fireworks. I now look back on the experience as a celebration of blasting through the energetic chakra centres and then lighting off fireworks at the completion. The funny thing was at the time I had no idea and just wanted off the ride!

The musical scale mimics these energy centres within the body. This is vibrational magic and the expression "good vibes" is not just a trite expression. Changing vibration is how the magic works. In order to access occluded planes of consciousness, alter your vibration. Practice the ability to modulate frequency through love, emotion, music, speech, desire, and the like. Try singing the musical scale now. Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do. Notice how you start deep within and to hit the high note requires you to look towards the top of your head to hit it. It’s a pretty good meditation to sing the ascending scale and then reverse it so the energy descends. Now, notice the rhythm section in a piece of music. It’s a low-level bass and drums. Just like the root chakra, it is the pulse of our life beating out our song.

Within your daily life you can find experiences and practices to further you along on your journey. Obviously, it is impractical to function day to day high on a mind-manifesting substance that changes your vibration so the answer is to make your life the spiritual practice you seek. 

sacrifice

There’s always something to master. I embarked upon a spiritual path about 14 years ago and I have answered the majority of the questions that I wondered about. I am cautiously proud of myself for seeing the journey through, for forging onwards when the journey got very difficult, and for not falling into any of the myriad of pitfalls placed along the path. Always having something to master is frustrating. I would have thought spiritual mastery and seeing through the game would be the ultimate achievement. I’m pretty much at this point, yet I am incredibly frustrated at my inability to master some basic life skills. My otherworldly teachers must shake their heads as never before have they had a student that could complete the spiritual journey like I did considering my starting point as a beta male in a western material world. Worldly power and rewards did not capture me. Cultural pitfalls sure to trip anyone up, I sidestepped. Heavy doses of fear, I overcame. Threats of death I ignored and soldiered on. Many magicians posing as teachers reached out for me however I stuck to the dead teachers of yesteryear and ignored the parasites that attached themselves to their teachings. Ha ha I did it! I won! I see with a clarity like no other how it all works. Yet, my life isn’t perfect. Desires and thought patterns I know I can break free of I remain a slave to. I think I should turn my attention towards them much like I did with the spiritual path. I need to quell the frustration within.

Liberation involves sacrifice. When you are ready to go full on into freeing yourself from all that holds you back then you have to start giving up some things that will cause you suffering or in some cases it’s sacrificing some pleasure to forego that subsequent pain. Ice cream will give you some immediate mouth pleasure however the obesity and diabetes may not be worth it in the end!

I wanted to write a blog post about sacrifice in order to better understand it. My knowledge concerning sacrifice immediately leads me to stories in the Bible concerning sacrifice for ablution of sin and the story of Abraham’s obedience to Yahweh concerning sacrificing his firstborn son Isaac. In that case, it’s a pretty good study of what was valued the most in that period of time and to Abraham it was his son Isaac who would inherit his worldly possessions gained by his accomplishments. The test was to see if he would give that up for his god. Similarly, the idea of sacrificing your best bullock to your god is a big deal. We’d all prefer to give up the small and sickly animal and the idea of ancient sacrifice involved paying a heavy price. A nice reward from your chosen deity isn’t free.

What is the limit of credulity? What can you get humans to do in order to obtain power? Do they have a limit as to how far they will go? For some, there doesn’t seem to be a line they wouldn’t cross. Is that the lesson of the absurdity of the backbone of some religions? If you give up what is the most valuable to you, besides your own life, then you will be rewarded. The sacrifice is a symbol of your depravity and the extremes you would go to get what you want. Would you sacrifice your firstborn to gain favour with your god? When the bastions of power within society come for your children for profit and the subsequent power it brings, do you let them have your children or do you stand up at great risk to life and livelihood?

Sacrifice of life in order to go on living is a necessity. Daily involuntary slaughter of life so that we survive. That reality is something I don’t like thinking about. What is survival and why do I have to take life to live? Why do I trap myself in a belief that in order to attain my spiritual bona fides I need to become a vegan and not take animal life? What is the reward that is sought? Are you not upsetting the god of the plants? Why this paradox and this question I can’t satisfactorily answer? For animal life forms, the game is designed so you have to eat others or perish and eventually in turn be eaten. Them the parameters of the game, if you choose to play. Limit the suffering, move on towards the next level, and don’t get caught.

This kind of answers the question about ancient practices of taking life as ritual and sacrifice. Since there was no way out of the trap, in turn it was made holy. The life was offered to the god, including the best fat of the animal, and in turn you got your fill.

There’re also stories, not only in the Bible, but throughout antiquity of sacrificing the firstborn with a prohibition concerning this practice in the Bible confirming that it was practised in ancient times to gain favour with a chosen god. Ultimately, the substitute sacrifice for the firstborn is transferred on to the Lamb and reaches its fruition in the New Testament crucifixion and sacrifice of Christ to save humankind from its sins. The backbone of Judeo-Christianity is sacrifice of the firstborn.

I could go on and on about this and have even written a book about this very idea however it’s not the scope of this post. What I’m really trying to get at is the concept of sacrifice. At its core, sacrifice seems to be the idea that in order to gain something from your god or perhaps gain favour there has to be a transactional exchange. This struck a chord with me because it sounds like the concepts of reciprocity and reconciliation. We are playing a zero-sum game and for every gain for someone there is a loss for others. In a community where resources are all shared, if someone suddenly has way more material goods than another then somewhere along the line someone had to suffer a loss in order for the wealthy to have acquired their goods.

Spiritual paths of antiquity all had elements of sacrifice in them. You gave something up of value to the gods in exchange for a boon or forgiveness. In a way, it speaks to reconciliation and reciprocity where in essence you are trying to even out your karma so the evil eye of others’ jealousy does not cast a spell on your good fortune.

The concept of reciprocity as found in pre-Columbian South America was called ayni and operated on the simple concept that for everything you take you must give back an equal amount. I’ve seen it at work in my exploration of plant medicines. You can ask for a favour or a healing from a plant however there is an offering to be made. In other words, a sacrifice. It’s an honour system where the plant medicine will give you the boon you asked for and then await fulfillment of what you promised in return. This is where reconciliation comes into play. If you work with plant medicines enough you will see that if you do not fulfill your promises, eventually they leave you. The internet is rife with stories of selfish humans claiming the plants abandoned or turned on them; all said in earnest without a clue that the problem may lay with you and the fact you are all take and no give.

So, what I’m getting at is the concept of sacrifice parallels with the idea of reciprocity. Giving up something to get something. Reciprocity and reconciliation. The ultimate sacrifice was when you originally gave up knowledge of self for a ticket to the carnival of life. To return, I must sacrifice the rewards and pleasures of this life I have earned and grown accustomed towards. It’s such an interesting wheel of fortune. Give it all up to advance on the big game board. Give it all up for a new roll of the dice. Start over with nothing and play that earth game until you accumulate a new-found fortune. And then to return home, you once again give it all away. The ticket to ride always involves sacrifice.

You sacrifice omnipotence in order to play the game of life. Finally, you sacrifice the self and everything you accumulated in order to return to what it was you originally sacrificed. Therein lies the rub: Do you wait until the catastrophic full stop of death or do you beat the game and do it now?

experiential

My pulsing energy within is the intertwined feminine Serpent and the masculine Jaguar. This is the conjunction of power where earth meets sky and the sun and moon energies collide. The Hindu chakra system of ascension of the earth based feminine Kundalini serpent tells half of this eternal story. The masculine energy as a bull or feline descends into our sacred vessels from the sky. The meeting place of these two lovers is in the centre, the fourth chakra, which is the heart chakra.

It’s through the use of psychedelic substances that I was able to sense this eternal truth and subsequently make the connection to ancient spiritual paths. Consciousness altering methods allow the human access to obfuscated sense perceptions normally unavailable to us.

The ascension of the serpent gives rise to achievement and spurs on the masculine goal of enlightenment of our physical form. The descending of the masculine energy as spirit is the energy to rouse the sleeping serpent. I experienced this in an Ayahuasca ceremony where I envisioned my crown chakra being permanently opened and the white light continuously entering and lighting up the seven energy centres in a continual process as each chakra lit up with its respective colour. It was during a Vilca experience a year and a half later where I witnessed these eternal and imperishable beings made of love and powered by ever-transforming light. It’s only now that I finally connected these two visions. The beings were composed of the love of the Goddess and the light of the God. This is what is described and experienced in moments of rapture when the Kundalini rises up the Ida channel after the spirit descends the Pingala to rouse and propitiate her. A third plant medicine, Huachuma, first allowed me to physically experience this phenomenon, though at the time I was gobsmacked. The second time I drank Huachuma, the energy within was potentiated and I became lit up with power and disoriented to the novel experience. My whole body was shaking with an intense electrical charge and my heart was fluttering with a tremendous energy load. I closed my eyes and saw an intense ball of white light surrounded by two larger than life serpents. I was experiencing the full effects of the chakra cycle, lit up by the light and the power of the Kundalini serpent. Subsequently with Huachuma, I can experience intense states of an energetic load as I am a conduit for the pulsing of the two eternal energies of the universe. I can also experience this reaction within as a burning hot passionate flame that radiates from my being. I close my eyes and I see smouldering colours of an intensity that is combustible.

The great pre-Columbian South American civilization at Chavín de Huántar, which used the sacrament of Huachuma to build community, deserves a second look in conjunction with the principles ascertained in the chakra system of the Hindus. This post Bronze Age civilization marked a high point and probably the last flicker of a flame of human co-operation before we devolved into a race defined by conflict. Chavín represented the axis mundi and is where the confluence of elemental energies and cultures converged. It is in the stone idol we call the lanzon that the two eternal energies of the feminine serpent and the masculine jaguar come together as one representing the same love and light captured in stone as I detailed above. In addition, the designation of Chavín comes from the transposition of a Quechua word chapin via the root word chaupi which refers to the heart in the middle of this grand reconciliation of all in this great temple in the Peruvian highlands. The connections to the Hindu chakras are tantalizing and helps understand the teachings. The serpent and jaguar, one rising and one falling, meet in the middle at the heart chakra. Our human potential, powered by the rising Kundalini becomes conjoined with the descent into the human of our spiritual potential which then meet in the heart space. We can experience rapture with the rising energy while the spiritual energy comes to awaken our eternal self and lift us up.

I’ve experienced this, seen it at work, and then saw my destiny as an imperishable and eternal being made of the love of the serpent and the ever-transforming light of the jaguar. I finally added it up and can now clearly see it.

Within my own European heritage this same knowledge has been preserved in myth. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs representing the feminine presence within the seven energy centres along with the Prince who awakens Sleeping Beauty from her sleep being the masculine power giving the feminine the power to wake up and rise.

This experience of the energy within is real and palpable. I invite us all to go on the most magnificent journey of discovery that will lead to revealing your destiny. 

tobacco healings

The last ceremony of my 2016 trip down into the Amazon jungle involved the inhalation of these seeds that were grounded up and snorted. This substance is called Vilca and it was the first time I had gone through this shamanic initiation. The lead up to the moment was pretty intense as the maestro don Howard makes you question your inner fortitude in addition to forcing you to look within for the necessary courage and bravery to undergo this rite of passage. The visionary chemical components of Vilca consist of two different compounds of the substance dimethyltryptamine as well as bufotenine, which as the Maestro cautioned, may make you feel like you are dying. This initial experience went pretty gentle on me. I floated up through the three shamanic worlds. In the middle world, don Howard was present sitting on a rock ledge waving to me. In the upper world, I looked up and saw a place populated by curanderos and curanderas. I asked my guide what was this place and was told this is where all the great healers reside waiting for their next opportunity to be of service. I was then told that was my destiny and I would accomplish my healing through the use of the jungle tobacco called Mapacho.

When I returned home that summer I reflected upon this visionary experience and concluded the Amazon basin definitely doesn’t need another shaman so I wondered what was meant by becoming a healer. During my work with Ayahuasca that particular trip I was shown I’m not ready yet. I had to complete my worldly obligations before taking up what was calling out to me. I knew there was a connection and I would be patient and just let it unfold.

My first exposure to Mapacho was in 2013. It was strong and pungent. I wasn’t a smoker and treated this jungle tobacco as a local curiosity. When I returned to the Amazon in 2015 at SpiritQuest, don Howard conducted a Mapacho ceremony the first full day at the Sanctuary and treated the tobacco with reverence and respect. He sent us off into the jungle to set our intentions for our coming cycle of work with Ayahuasca. I smoked a full puro for the first time and felt a calming peace envelop me along with light-headedness and slight nausea. During the Ayahuasca ceremonies I grew to dislike the smell of the tobacco spirit as the maloca filled up with its strong aroma due to the incessant smoking by the shamans. I did notice that the shamans used Mapacho to create a circuitous arkana around the physical space for protection. Don Rober personally blessed our crown chakras before each ceremony with smoke which is called a soplando while he continually puffed on Mapacho the whole ceremony. The next morning everyone would go for their flower bath and again don Rober would use tobacco to seal us up energetically. When people came to him intra-ceremony to receive personal healing, he would suck out their energetic blocks and then seal up the disturbance with the smoke of the tobacco. It was quite good theatre. I mean, I’m a western man so I looked upon this as some kind of performative placebo that may or may not help the patient. When we visited other tribes, don Rober would sometimes come along with his Mapacho in tow and offer healing through the blowing of smoke. I watched as he tended to a pregnant woman who was feeling abdominal discomfort, rub her side, and then blew the smoke on the energetic disturbance. How very odd yet intriguing.

In 2016 my relationship to Mapacho changed leading up to the Vilca ceremony. I watched don Howard, the wizard, control the smoke in a ceremony up on the star deck and I was enchanted. I imitated him and in doing so I smoked so much tobacco that night which in conjunction with the Huachuma we had drank earlier in the day sent me into an energetic frenzy. I had so much energy coursing through me that I was pinned to the ground. I pressed my lips to the earth to try and dissipate the energetic storm. The power was definitely off the charts. It all culminated that evening with the vision concerning healing with Mapacho. The trajectory of my life was inexorably altered on that day.

I brought home a bunch of Mapacho and after a month or so started to smoke them while observing and recording the experience. It was definitely a rush, an agitation of the central nervous system, and I could feel the activation and rising power within. I made a conscious effort to be respectful of the spirit and conducted a small ceremony with each puro smoked. I watched out for any signs of addiction or dependence. I felt none and learned respect was the key.

Presently, my daily routine consists of making time to be in communion with the spirit of Mapacho. Mapacho is my teacher and my ally back here at home. He helps me integrate all my experiences and teaches me to quiet the mind, open the heart, and let the knowledge come to me. He offers strength and protection to those who come with a respectful attitude. I’ve spent about five years now in a relationship with Mapacho and haven’t forgotten my vision of becoming a healer through the use of tobacco though I did lose track of time and should have realized the time suggested by my visions was drawing near.

In the western world the idea of healing through tobacco is preposterous. The first reaction of all who I mention my tobacco friend to generally consists of the question: “Aren’t you afraid of addiction and getting cancer?” Culture has put one over on us. It’s a really good study of how culture works in that we have been brainwashed to immediately correlate tobacco with cancer; cancer being pretty much the unhealthiest state the body can be in. The dissonance is incredible and there’s no way you can remain a pawn of culture and continue along this path. I constantly write in this blog space about liberation and freeing yourself from others and the stultifying effects of culture. Well, here you go. To become a healer who uses tobacco as the main source of providing the healing means releasing oneself from the bondage of his fellow man and the chains of culture.

The Covid-19 pandemic has been the impetus for finding within the strength to operate independent of society as much as possible. Peer pressure, coercion, expectations, disappointments, and judging minds all sneer at you as you walk free of their control. If this was a test, I aced it, and gave the middle finger to culture. I embodied the “you do you and I’ll do me” philosophy to a tee. I’m liberated! My mind is free and I’m a critical thinker.

I’m a mystic with a foot still in the word of logic and reason. I was researching the effects of Covid-19 on the body which led me to understanding the most harmful part of the disease is the body’s reaction to the invader. The virus is so pernicious that the immune system goes on high alert and releases a storm of killer cells called cytokines to fend off the pathogen. I suppose the immune system sees this potential grave threat and has to do whatever possible to rid the organism of the invader. The result is massive inflammation within the body which could cause damage to vital organs if the cytokine storm gets out of control.

https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/the-coronavirus-turns-deadly-when-it-leads-to-cytokine-storm-identifying-this-immune-response-is-key-to-patients-survival-report.html

While educating myself, I came across a study which curiously demonstrated that chronic smokers disproportionately were admitted to the hospital because of the symptoms of Covid-19. The first reaction would be of course they would be disproportionally affected because smoking damages the lungs and a respiratory illness would be trouble. However, the data showed the opposite. Way less smokers were being admitted than the general population. I researched further and found out that the drug found within tobacco with a bad name for its addictive qualities, nicotine, is responsible for this situation. The effects of nicotine within the body modulates the release of cytokines. I’m no scientist, so, it’s best I quote from studies concerning this finding:

Daily active smokers are infrequent among outpatients or hospitalized patients with COVID-19. Several arguments suggest that nicotine is responsible for this protective effect via the nicotinic acetylcholine receptor (nAChR). Nicotine may inhibit the penetration and spread of the virus and have a prophylactic effect in COVID-19 infection.

https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT04583410

Nicotine, an α7-nACh receptor agonist, may boost the cholinergic anti-inflammatory pathway and hinder the uncontrolled overproduction of pro-inflammatory cytokines triggered by the SARS-CoV-2 virus, which is understood to be the main pathway to poor outcomes and death in severe COVID-19.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33269148/

This led to discovering a similar situation during the outbreak in 2010 of the H1N1 flu virus:

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0086166

And to complete the descent into the rabbit hole of the protective qualities of tobacco, I found references to the prophylactic role tobacco played during the Black Plague that swept across Europe 600 years ago:

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2015/05/great-plague-london/

If I say to someone that nicotine will protect them from the serious effects of Covid-19, the immediate reaction is a smile, followed by a laugh, while waiting for me to finish the joke. This is a prime example of how culture and the repetition of cultural “truths” inculcate within a knee-jerk response to any information that leads to severe cognitive dissonance. The next utterance out of the mouth of someone who has been given this information is, “Well, so they don’t get Covid but instead get cancer. No thanks.” There it clearly is. Tobacco = cancer. How about a nicotine patch or nicotine chewing gum? Do we not want to save lives or are vaccines the only way? So we are told.

Puzzled but not surprised by the power inherent by constant repetition, I thought of IQ tests for some unknown reason. I remember writing them as a child and being presented an image and having to pick out from a series of following images which did not go with that image. For example, you are shown a firetruck and then four images such as a house on fire, a Dalmatian dog, a fire hydrant, and glass of milk. The house on fire and hydrant are correlative but it is culture that makes you connect the Dalmatian to the firetruck when this image and the milk should be valid answers. Culture told me the Dalmatian goes with the firetruck just as it tells me tobacco goes with cancer. Imagine from this simple example how those in charge of my education could program my mind and then leave me to live out my life within that state of mind. Part of the IQ test reveals your level of brainwashing. Too bad for them I woke up.

Mapacho contains up to 18% nicotine and no tar. Mapacho is a pretty harsh smoke and is near impossible to take into your lungs without a coughing fit. Commercial cigarettes contain just 1% nicotine and about 30% tar. The diseases caused by smoking are directly related to the effects of tar or the chemical additives within western brand cigarettes. The additives are used to make the effects of nicotine more addictive and to take away the harshness of smoking so the consumer can pull the smoke into the lungs and increase the absorption and rewards. Adding ammonia to the leaf during the tobacco manufacturing process makes the experience smooth however burning ammonia with nicotine creates a chemical reaction that results in free-base nicotine which gets to the brain in a hurry and makes it highly addictive. These tobacco companies also add sugars into cigarettes which also leads to a less irritating smoke. However, when these sugars are burned they create toxic compounds called aldehydes which cause heart and lung diseases and cancers of the lung and bladder.

My intuition is on high-alert and the connection between my life, my visions, the pandemic, and the role nicotine can play in protecting and healing us from these pathogens is clear. I’d go far as saying the relationship of humans to tobacco is symbiotic and we threw it all away on the all too familiar altar of power. The pursuit of power by using tobacco for gain turned a great healing agent of humanity into a killer. How sad.

I sometimes ask Pachamama how can I be of service? How can I help? The answer seems pretty clear and has been laid out for me. I need to educate myself further concerning Mapacho and learn as much as I can about the plant. I’ll bring Mapacho back into my world as an ambassador for pure Mapacho tobacco armed with knowledge and an inner knowing of my relationship with the spirit of the plant.

tell the truth

Life is one big game of obfuscation and denial, creating a story and character in order to deflect the prying eyes of the judge we all contain within us and externally manifest as culture. Our story hides us from our truth. The judges within society want to see behind the curtain to determine what makes me tick however it’s the same thing that makes them tick. They just live in denial and also have created a persona to bury their lusts, though eventually all comes up to the surface and desires have to be met. Why would I be different? I want to go to church so I can sit there and laugh. Look at all the phony holy and righteous. Wow. What did you do in your life that you aren’t so proud of? So much so, you think you needed to be saved. Why not admit you’re a scoundrel? We all are potential reprobates. If we lay those cards on the table at the beginning of the game then we’d understand each other better and we could get down to creating way more pleasure than the pain we materialize.

My plant medicine journeys definitely have revealed to me the casino nature of life and how this is the big game of chance, skill, and rewards. I had no idea what I was seeing during an early vision of the hypnotic nature of existence and I still find it very mysterious however when I sank down into my depths I remember seeing spinning representations of the four suits in a deck of cards. Everything was hypnotic, sketchy, and there was a definite unease running through the experience. I ended up in the lair of a demon who proceeded to scare the shit out of me and I ran. I didn’t even know where I was running to but just had to do the flight thing because fight was definitely not in the cards. The rest of the night was a thorough beatdown, drumming into me what a degenerate I was and how I played the game well and kept all my carnal lusts and desires hidden. One day, all my secrets would be revealed and being a libertine, I’m destined to die miserable and alone.

We all do the dance, so, it’s not like I’m someone special in that regard and the script is probably interchangeable. It was only when I learned to tell the truth that I was able to reconcile my perceived deviancy. The best advice I have ever received in this regard came from Ram Dass via his guru Maharaji: “Love all and tell the truth.” Loving all enables within the power of love and allows you to understand the enormous power that is within your form. You have no idea of your personal power however there are two relatively easy paths towards feeling that power within and love is one of them. I invite you to love all and experience it, even if temporary. Telling the truth allows you to drop the narrative of self. There is only so far you can get on the spiritual path without embracing truth. The story you tell about yourself in essence strips away the omnipotent power within and you can’t see it because you sacrificed it to play a character. When you start practicing telling the truth, doors to the unknown become unlocked and knowledge is exponentially increased. The astute adherent then has an easy time understanding the knowledge. It’s pretty awesome. I won’t give the show away but instead point you towards these words of advice to love all and tell the truth.

To successfully embark upon the path of liberation requires one to tell the truth. The truth about how you feel and the truth about yourself. Your feelings are never wrong; they may be morally or culturally deviant however it is an accurate barometer of self. The flip side is feelings can be manipulated by culture and others so thus the need for liberation in order to re-discover self. When one hears of someone going on a journey to find themselves this is essentially what they are trying to get at. We tell little stories, which are fancy lies, about ourselves all the time in order to fit in and be consistent. We allow others to control our narrative and we are expected to conform to their expectations. If we do not play along or slip up we are said to be acting out of character. In some instances, one is sent away for psychiatric help or counselling in order to return them to the performance that everyone can count on. That actor is a stooge in someone else’s play. The drama and your part is being written for you. How about you become the writer, director, and actor of your own play? That’s where liberation comes in.

To fully go into the path of liberation involves embracing duality. Embracing duality allows you to separate yourself from others, culture, and the stories you tell about yourself. The separation allows you to live in truth which in turn allows you to sit with who you are. Seeing everything as separate allows you to objectify all. Everyone is an independent being, including the trees and animals. From this state of seeing everything as separate you can then start to let it go one by one. This is where the love of the Goddess comes in and you start the process of tempering your newfound liberation with love which will pull you back towards unity. Instead of dutifully repeating the grand spiritual narrative of oneness, you start from the beginning and see we are all connected which naturally leads to duality falling away. You have liberated yourself and realized in truth everyone you see is you. At first, it’s quite the paradox, however, it is a necessary exercise in order to get to the crux of the mystery.

Do it, go full on into the right-hand path of the individual to the point of pathology where you are so involved in the separation and delineation of self you shine the brightest light possible upon your existence. The self you define splinters and becomes many selves. In fact, we already know we have many iterations of self that we subdivide into our personality traits. Overdose on self! Then you will see the transitory nature of the character you play. The character is real but is ever changing and thus cannot be defined. The only definition I’m sure of regarding form is the verb transformation which means change. It’s what we do. It’s so curious that the form provided by the Goddess is constantly changing in order to stay biologically alive. The pulse of energy is decelerated by the love of the feminine into form and while in form the masculine power creates ego because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I want to be in a unified form yet also be separate and free! So, the answer is to first go all the way and become free and from the position of liberation invite back in unity and temper your freedom with love.

Liberation is the first step, not love. Free yourself before learning to love. Going into love as the first step prevents you from discovering just whom you really are. Seeking liberation eventually allows you to see you are inseparable from everything and this mystery is the flow of the eternal energy of the divine feminine and masculine coming forth. Liberation will lead to a unity that is tempered by the love of the Goddess.

Going into love as the first step on the spiritual path will suck you into a vortex you will never escape. Liberation will allow you to see those who will suck you in. This is because you want to see the good in others and blinders have been placed on your early warning system. There are many on the path who present themselves as wanting to help and will offer to teach. They will invite you into their world. They are magicians. You can only see it if you are liberated. Following your heart will lead you to these people who weave magic spells and will collect you as a follower. So many are easily seduced and it’s usually pretty benign. Most shamans fall into this category of being a magician as they are creating an aura and persona that is designed to collect you as a follower to which at some point they will take advantage of that relationship. It’s the tried and true human behaviour which has been going on for centuries. A good example of this collecting behaviour is social media. It’s a hangout for magicians who are weaving spells through their words and pictures trying to invite you into their world to become a follower. There’s a hit of egoistic pleasure and power that us humans get from acquiring views, followers, positive comments - negative comments are not welcome as they could break the spell. In essence, it’s all a con. It’s the same behaviour on the spiritual path, whether you choose plant medicines, a religion, a discipline, or a guru and I’d estimate the majority of people you run into playing the part of spiritual guide are doing just this. It’s inviting to try out this method of enchantment if you know you have the power. The spiritual novices are lost and bewildered and when initially taking up the path they are looking for help and a teacher to look up to. For the spiritual magician, it's easy to exchange knowledge for prestige and be placed on a pedestal which leads to the seeker being seduced into becoming a follower. It’s something to look out for when at first you follow your heart because it’s so easy to be trapped on the spiritual path by someone, as you naturally want to trust and find the good in people. The spiritual path draws only good people, right?

So, what I’m saying is the first stop on the spiritual path is liberation. Free yourself from culture and others. Get in touch with yourself because within you will find all the answers you are looking for. I know that is cliché where you always look externally for answers first before exhausting that path and finding all you need was within. However, it’s true! Looking externally finds religion, spiritual paths, history, and myth which is useful however eventually you go full circle and see it’s all within.

I can tell you to first become liberated but no one will take me up on that advice. You're going to go to others and have them solve your problems for you. Looking within is where you are going to end up and you’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy if you liberate yourself and glimpse at the answers waiting for you.

There are two plant medicines that are really good at helping you discover the power that is within you when you are ready. For a full-on immersion there is nothing like Huachuma. For the seeker with an intention, Huachuma unleashes the power within and you will vibrate with an intense power. At first, it’s quite unnerving to discover this however when you later examine the process you see you have buried within this immense power. If you stay on that path of discovery you will come to intimately know the power and realize it emanates from you and not someone else, not from the cactus, or from some other external source. From a physical standpoint it is such a great teaching, as you physically realize the great power you hold that has been buried within you for so long is now liberated. A subtler take on this experience of power is with Mapacho. While out in nature with the tobacco maestro, a smoke will cause central nervous system agitation. You will feel within the rising power. It’s a good way to integrate a Huachuma experience as it allows access to the power felt with Huachuma but at a level that allows you to process the experience and connect the dots. Those two plant medicines really help with the path of liberation because once you know of the power within you do not need to look externally for answers or give away your personal power to anyone else.

In my experience, I was lucky to meet the maestro don Howard and make no mistake he was a magician. If you ever saw him in a Huachuma ceremony he would blow you away with his mastery. It would be pretty easy to become enchanted by him but he maintained a hands-off approach where he’d teach and send you on your way. I went on my way and tried to maintain contact. Once in a while, you’d get a response but for the most part you were dropped in the deep end of the pool and had to figure out how to swim. It was a healthy distance to prevent dependence. Deep within, I knew it was the way, as he is getting you to internally look for answers. Upon returning to his place, there would be a two-week intensive and off you go. He didn’t want to collect you and if you wished to return he was very grateful but no pressure. I was fortunate because I didn’t get sucked into any enchantment or devotion to any place.

Once you are free from culture and the spells others are trying to put on you, life and games we play become quite funny. You stand back and see what others are doing and you want to caution people. You listen to others but don’t fall for their outreach. Live your own life. Being liberated allows you to open your heart and have love and compassion for all without getting trapped in others' drama or be sucked in by the enchanter trying to draw you into their story and collect you. 

remnants of the mystery

The mystery further unravels. First, I had to discover and uncover the power within. Feeling that power for the first time is a rush and since you have no idea what it is, it’s pretty unnerving and you want it to stop. Personally, new experiences are pretty daunting and I usually fail them with aplomb and need time to figure them out. This template was active for my work with plant medicines. At first, they scared the hell out of me and sent me running for cover. However, they were intriguing enough that I came back to explore. This perseverance amounts to the best decision I have ever made. Since I kept at it, the modus operandi of my life predicted I’d figure them out and if I kept at it long enough I’d master the process. I’m not there yet but I see it’s attainable.

You can do physical exercises to rouse and move the energy around. In the end, it isn’t transformational. What is transformational is realizing how to naturally generate the power without tricks of posture. If you wish to open your heart chakra then love everyone. It really is that simple. I’ll repeat: If you wish to experience love energy which radiates from the chest then love all. Just like if you want to feel sexual energy go look at porn. It generates energy for sure. If you are unsure about what I’m referring to, start with sexual energy, as it is the easiest to unlock in order to understand the power that resides within you. Essentially, the energy centres designated as chakras are letting you know of all the available power within, not just the titillating and dirty power! Once the connection is understood, you can start making changes in your behaviour that will unlock each and every power centre. Tell the truth! The throat chakra will pulse with a renewed vigour as telling the truth sets you free and unlocks the rest of the story once you give up the limiting narrative which gives your power away. I am reminded about a story Ram Dass tells when he asks his guru how to get enlightened, expecting a detailed plan to achieve his goal. Maharaji simply told him, “Love all and tell the truth.” Imagine that! Imagine being given that instruction and being bewildered. What? I’m to get enlightened by loving all and telling the truth? Later on in life after this simple teaching, Ram Dass started the Love Serve Remember foundation. Each of those core principles will potentiate chakra energy and lead to unlocking the energetic potential within our sacred vessels. The love will radiate. Through service we will forgo the personal power to control found in the blossoming of the third chakra, and by remembering we will remember Goddess and God and direct our passionate energy towards union with the divine.

So, what have I figured out since I’ve done my fair share of exploring via plant medicines? The power within that’s activated by the reconciliation of the feminine and masculine powers. When you bring them together it lights your being up with power; it rises and there are options of how you wish to channel the energy. I can activate the power with the tobacco maestro Mapacho, potentiate it at my Mesa, and subsequently the union rises up within me.

So, what’s the big deal? It’s the evolution of consciousness; the forging together of this power with consciousness and the next stop on the evolutionary ladder is a multi-dimensional being made of the love of the feminine and powered by the ever-transforming light of the masculine. The two powers as separate need each other or they remain potential. The love of the feminine creates form however she will lapse into smothering and darkness without the masculine. The light of the masculine separates and brings the universe to life however this power will become destructive if not tempered by the love of the feminine. When the two powers combine and are reconciled into the centre then the power rises on up through you and you blast off; greater than the gods as you are the child of the two greater powers and you become free as a bird while riding the wind like a butterfly.

Ancient civilizations taught this to their adherents however we have lost their knowledge. The remnants of the mystery remain somewhat in Hindu chakra practices with the propitiating of the feminine Kundalini serpent by the masculine power. She ascends through the seven energy centres within the body before exiting through the crown chakra into the astral plane. Faints echoes exist in ancient Egypt where we have records of night time dancing, singing, drumming, and intoxicants used to gain favour with the serpent Goddess Wadjet, who was a representation of the Great Goddess Hathor, at her temple in Dendera. She was exhorted to come forth and rise; enlivening and renewing life in all she touched. A representation of this process is also found in the pre-Columbian civilization at Chavín de Huántar where the Lanzón acted as the axis mundi in the centre of centres. The Andes mountains valley plain of Chavín comes from the Quechua word chaupin which refers to the centre from chaupi which is the heart space much like in the chakra system the mid-point of the energetic journey, both acceleration and deceleration, is found in the heart chakra. The stone idol is made of the feminine serpent form and powered by the masculine jaguar energy. This strange artistic creation is the pure genius of a civilization that successfully depicted non-duality in stone in contrast to the Hindu non-dualists who were able to articulate in their language this concept. The reconciliation of the opposite powers is found in the centre and from this undifferentiated form projects out into the universe the multitude of objects that are differentiated by the light of the rising power. The combination of rising energy and consciousness leads to the metaphor of the liberated eagle flying free in the heavens as a representation of the process of the evolution of consciousness. It is a reconciliation of the opposites of feminine and masculine, ignited with the rising power. The final stage of the journey culminating in blasting off into a heavenly realm with extremely limited access. At the ancient site of Chavín, the catalysts for accomplishing this journey were the plant medicines Huachuma and Vilca in combination with the practice of the Mesa. The Mesa exoterically presents to you the reconciliation of the opposite powers of feminine and masculine, life and death, light and dark, upper and lower worlds, water and sky, and brings them all into the centre in the middle world where we are now. Esoterically, the practitioner of the Mesa channels the power coming forth from this construct into their being as an accelerant for the journey ahead. The plant medicine Huachuma activates the power within and additionally floods you with sensations of love. The plant medicine Vilca is the final step; a nitro boost that takes you the last step beyond the body for a glimpse of your destiny.

I’ve been there and have put two and two together. I invite you to explore with me. 

going within

Here’s a puzzling thought: What is meant by going within? In spiritual circles, this is a popular phrase as you are told to go within to find answers. Going within is all you need to do as your inner guides will reveal all to you. I tend to examine everything and this unchallenged staple of the spiritual journey had slipped through the cracks up until now when finally, I questioned it.

It is undeniably true. Going within is all you need to do. You contain everything within your being and accessing that knowledge will give you all the answers you seek. Looking externally for answers will eventually lead you astray and convert you into a follower of someone else’s beliefs. They become the shepherd and you’re the sheep. They’ll physically feed and take care of you and also provide you the spiritual nourishment you desire however you give them your wool and are never free. Some external teachers wish to perpetuate you spinning your wheels on the treadmill in order to keep you as a follower. A good one will let you go and be free. An exceptional teacher will point the way to the methods to help you look within.

If you are looking for a teacher, the best ones are dead. They have no need to make a living and thus their teachings are truly free. They are not trying to hook you in any way; sure, they’ll be some trying to speak in their name and capitalize on their wisdom but you’ll easily see through it. There are many great sages throughout history that have left their legacy in print and even some lectures of infinitesimal value are available on YouTube. They will provide you with the knowledge you seek and point the way but ultimately it is you and only you that needs to go within and find your truth free of external pressures.

Okay, so, what is meant by going within? How do I get there? There are a number of methods. There’re methods for the methodical among us as well as practices for those who need to work at it in order for the discipline to project an air of validity. And there are methods that will take you immediately to the source but at the risk of blowing out the game for the naive and unprepared. So, first of all what we have is meditation and breath-work. These methods are a slower physical means of going within with the added bonus it you succeed in developing them as a tool in your spiritual utility belt you can lord it over other because your method is the purest. One-upmanship still thrives, even in the spiritual game! Putting that bullshit aside, meditation will allow you to quiet the mind and enter into a state where you are one with the god within. When you’re quiet, they speak. Breath-work will do similar in that you exhaust the mind and enter into a state of being the observer and listener. Yoga and chanting are similar methods, all with the goal of exhausting physical and mental components of self so you can sit and listen. The hypnotic beat of a drum or quick repetitive movements in ecstatic dance will also alter your consciousness. A plant medicine that will quicken this process but not overwhelm your senses is the tobacco maestro Mapacho. A smoke out in the woods will bring on a quieting of the mind and a sharpening of the senses, including the hidden sense of the teachers within.

The quick way into the inner sanctum is attained through the use of psychedelics. To the unprepared, they have the potential to result in what is called a bad trip and may scare you away from exploring deeper with this tool. Even for the prepared, the experience can be overwhelming. It can be thought of as a shortcut however there is a need to learn to work with these agents of consciousness in order to reap the benefits and like any other spiritual tool, that takes time. I look back on my early forays into the unknown with consciousness altering plant medicines as being unprepared and unaware of what I was experiencing. However, I did write down as much as I could about what I directly experienced and in hindsight so much has been revealed once I gained understanding years later, including the threads of a narrative of my own personal hero’s journey. I now see with clarity that what is within is everything and everything is who I am. This has been an eight-year journey up to now and continues to unfold. Psychedelics are indeed the quick way into the inner chamber but the length of time needed to understand what you experience is probably the same as the other methods.

So, what is meant by within? Within is the hidden dimension that is off-limits to your everyday consciousness that is enabled by your physical sense perceptions. To go within requires activating another sense perception we all have but have forgotten about. This is what the methods are doing - they bypass the blocks that obfuscate another way to perceive consciousness. Access is attained through mastering vibration. It’s simpler than you realize but you’ll need the key. This is a huge topic to cover so I’ll just leave it at that in order to pique your interest. As we become more rational and logical as a species this sense falls further away and it becomes even harder to reclaim the mystical. Culture also enforces the prohibition against the occult. I would hazard to guess that in the ancient world it was a great deal easier to access this realm. Now, you need to be a devoted practitioner with a method or take a strong dose of a psychedelic in order to enter through the archway.

In order to master our physical world, we sold out to our physical senses with the result all the modern human is left with is the rational. The last hold of religion is a few generations away from becoming a curiosity of our irrational past. We still manifest the right-brained creative side within humanity however it plays within structure. Palatable music is composition that conforms to expectation as deviancy just doesn’t sound right. We sold our soul and sacrificed it on the altar of progress. We lost the path of the troubadour heart in order to follow the light of reason. It’s hardly surprising that when we change consciousness we access this lost frequency. I would expect the same if we entered into a dream world where within the fluid dream the alteration of consciousness just ever so slightly would slip us back into a rational frequency, much like what we lock to today.

We usually do not give our sense perceptions a second thought and thus take them for granted. Our sense perceptions create our experience of life. Senses are what define our world, give definition to the energetic storm around us, and bring the world to life. Can we as humans evolve our senses or return to what was lost? In other words, can we reclaim occluded methods of sensing what is around us? The short answer is yes and the ability to make it happen exists all around us.

If we do sense the paranormal or the non-ordinary, what is our first response? It’s fear. As a child, the thought of ghosts was frightening however non-rational it may well be. Using psychedelics always brings with it a touch of fear even for the seasoned practitioner. It’s because of the unknown and having to give up control. The inner adventure tinged with a little bit of anxiety to make for a good game.

I might be getting predictable but the perceptive among us can see where this line of thinking is leading towards discussing. I’m referencing psychedelics because I have finally understood a large part of the experience. At first, I was scared and curious. I returned to their use because I was intrigued with the potential. I knew of the available knowledge of self and of my world contained within which could be revealed in the experience and this curiosity allowed me to develop strategies to deal with the fear. For the last eight years, I have been exploring consciousness about once a year during a cycle of work. Mind altering and expanding substances are agents of consciousness which allow you to “see” what you normally do not perceive. We classify them as hallucinations because it is something we don’t experience in everyday waking consciousness. It’s much more than visions as patterns of behaviour are confronted, ideas are explored, there's a dose of love and fear, and trauma and relationships are reconciled.

It is true psychedelics are a way into the occult. Because of culture, what I just wrote probably gave you some trepidation. We are supposed to stay away from the hidden and for good reason. The Devil hangs out in that world, along with a host of other demons, plus things that go bump in the night. It’s all part of the incredible knowledge available to you and all play their respective part in the drama. This is what makes this experience beyond any journey you can take in the physical world. My journey has been the most incredible arcing storyline, full of twists and turns, leading towards the climax where I discover I’m the actor, writer, and director of my own grand adventure.

Not all psychedelics are the same. Some are visionary, some are active teachers, some can be both, some potentiate the energy within so you can experience the power you possess, and some can make you delirious. What I’m getting at is there’re a lot of planes of consciousness and senses to explore. Our normal senses are attuned to the physical world, allowing us to perceive a world governed by the laws of physics and thus maintain some kind of control over our surroundings. Psychedelics allow for another human sense perception. The non-ordinary world accessed by various methods of changing consciousness is unpredictable. It can’t be reliably measured though there are some scientists trying to map it out. You can peer into an obfuscated world of knowledge and intrigue but you can’t stay. The enduring charm of within remains because of its mystical nature. 

Exploration awaits the intrepid hero. I wouldn’t trade the key to unlock the doors of perception for the world as this inquiry is what gives me that needed boost to my human condition knowing I’m not just putting in time. There is so much to explore and it really is what lights me up. 

numbering

The re-thinking of numbers: I propose a new structure based upon the dichotomy of non-duality and duality. Numbers are avatars of dualism. Even the number 1 implies the presence of the dual. Sages of yesteryear struggled with this question and came up with the concept of non-duality that denied the inherent dualism in any concept that promulgated the one. They said just drop the idea of one and think of non-duality as void and non-divisible.

There is frustration in expressing non-dualism in a dualistic paradigm. It’s quite the puzzle.

Personally, I think the spiritual masters of the pre-Columbian civilization of Chavín de Huantar got it right. This civilization flourished in the 1st century BCE. The stone idol at the location of the axis mundi in the valley plain is such an attempt at depicting the inherent non-divisible component of the universe. Creation is an unbroken thread that if followed reveals we are all of the same source, all the way back to the big bang; never was that connection broken and never did we become separate and the many. We just think we are.

The smiling jaguar at Chavín was given the moniker “el Lanzón" by Spanish archaeologists who re-discovered the stone idol. The name in Spanish means a lance though the shape resembles a highland plough more than it does a spear. What is important about the location of the idol is it is in the centre of what was considered the centre of the Chavín civilization. All who would pass through the region would be directed to come through the axis mundi at Chavín, thus exposing all surrounding cultures to its community and ideals.

If you look at what these Andean shamanic masters created it will confound and confuse you. You will see forms within the artistry but they are not delineated, as our minds prefer. Instead, form is hinted at through contour rivalry, which is an artistic technique used to create more than one possible interpretation of an image. Your perspective determines what form you decide emerges from the art. To go even a step further, the perspective that affects your rendition of the god is both physical and mental. This is magic and beautiful chaos. Transformation depicted within stone. Incredible! The art form of Chavín is a high achievement of humankind, so much so it remains hidden to most until you live the life the sacrament of the culture prescribes to you. What was the sacrament? The sacrament was the plant medicine cactus Huachuma and in the set and setting of the confluence of energetic elements at the temple grounds it opens the heart and allows you to experience the cosmic love of the universe and within your heart the unity of all. The stone idol subsequently reveals its secret to the initiate. You see symmetry within the stone idol and notice the left-hand points downwards to the feminine terrestrial and the right-hand upwards to the masculine celestial thus revealing an association with duality coming forth from the perfect balance achieved at Chavín. You see the stone idol representing all. The god is masculine and feminine. Eventually, you may let go of the self and see yourself in the labyrinth at Chavín. A pilgrimage many years in the making, the sacredness of what was created long lost however it was not lost on this lonely wayfarer.

So, getting back to the number system, I propose an order of 0,2,1 in order to try and represent and reflect the paradigm of non-dualism within a dualistic construct. 0 is the non-divisible void. Have you ever tried to divide by zero? You get an error and your computer code stops. The first step into duality involves the binary as represented by the number two. It’s what makes our universe perceptually come alive. Subject and object. Without two, our senses are useless, therefore 2 comes after 0. From the two comes the 1. Mom and Dad, the two, create one. In duality, one is also three - Mom, Dad, and me, and makes the many because to get one you need two. So, to recap, we could now number our construct thus:

0,2,1/3

One and three being essentially the same.

I write this blog post as a warning to stay away from plant medicines which many enforcers of culture will flat out call drugs. Psychedelic drugs are bad. They will destroy your mind. I am exhibit ‘A’. 

transformation via harassment

I now realize why the master teacher, after giving me a thorough beat down upon my first meeting with him, chased me home and continued to harass me. At the time, I wanted him to go away and leave me alone, however, he kept coming for me in thoughts, dreams, and synchronicities. So much so, I suffered two panic attacks and had to develop strategies to maintain my sanity and keep him away.

When you are ready to become the hero of your journey and transform, the path appears and events start to line up for you. In this incarnation, I put it off until middle age and then started studying in earnest. I discovered the Goddess in Egypt and the ball was rolling as she guided me down into the jungle. I get the feeling I have travelled this far along the path in previous incarnations but have never vanquished the dragon. It’s always game over at this point. As an aside, video games are a sub-conscious attempt to reconcile this failure but that’s a story for another time. The Goddess knew of this outcome, cautioned me, and gave me a way out. However, I knew I had to do it.

The quick backstory is I went down into the Amazon jungle eight years ago at the behest of the Great Goddess to come into contact with her through altering my consciousness in a shamanic ritual. As a corollary to that meeting, I wanted to confront the darkness within that I couldn’t shake in my journey to become super-holy. I was the hero on a journey of knowledge and self-discovery. Little did I know, I hit the knowledge jackpot with the caveat a dragon lies in wait to thump you if you dare to tread further.

The dragon made quick work of me and being a scared novice, I left the scene of the mental massacre and retreated to the safety of home. That bastard is tough. It’s hard for me to describe in words how horrible and frightening that first match was in addition to the subsequent relentless pursuit of my sanity to make sure I did not return to his forbidden domain. I was faced with a decision of giving up this modality of discovery or continuing on. Forging ahead would mean I’d have to once again confront the dragon and reasonably I was a little gun shy at having to face up to that prospect. The pursuit of knowledge is what lights me up. I knew I had discovered something profound, but I was scared. I wasn’t going to easily let it go and so I spent a good amount of time trying to reconcile the experience and convince myself of a narrative of what happened with the goal to enable me to continue on this path. The dragon had other ideas and kept coming for me. He was forcing me to transform from a weak man into a warrior possessing the requisite courage and bravery needed to complete the hero’s journey. Cowards aren’t heroes. I can say that now but at the time I wanted to vanquish this foe so I could explore my inner world in peace. It took two years of mental repair and development before I continued on in the journey. During that time, I started to fight back against my adversary by punching back during a panic attack, calling on the Goddess for help, and even writing spells to summon him and cut off his head.

I had demonstrated a willingness to fight which in hindsight is what I needed to do. I returned to the ring and he immediately came at me. I had much trepidation but to my surprise I hung with him and the match went the distance. I wasn’t KO’ed this time. It was a draw and I became progressively emboldened. The Goddess, who had warned little naive me about the coming tribulation, returned to welcome me as I demonstrated I really could be the hero in this lifetime. She encouraged me to continue to go after the dragon. Being her brave knight, I vowed to continue the quest.

I returned once more and took the blows of whatever he could muster. I sat in ceremony and transformed into a man with a resolve of steel. A weak, unassuming, beta male took on the ultimate expression of the power of the alpha male, stood toe to toe with him, and transformed into him. The dragon came at me one last time as a ferocious jaguar. Charging full on, he stopped and stood face to face with me and roared. I roared right back, thus assuming his power and I became the king. This was the greatest upset of all time! An internal fire burned deep within me and despite all odds and the fear I returned, faced the wrath of the dragon, and won. That night was a huge celebration. The sense of accomplishment and the smile on my face at what I’d done lit up the universe. I knew I’d transformed myself and now had the keys to continue on in the hero’s journey, the path opening up to whatever I wished to explore, and the world became my oyster with the intention of finding the pearl.

So, what I realized the other night was the master teacher continued to harass me after the first beat down because it was his way of forcing me to transform from weak to strong. If I had my druthers, I would have made him go away and sanitized the whole experience. The method of continual harassment forced me to seek answers and find a way to once again confront him. There really was no escape except to end it all or transform. I repeat, I wouldn’t have transformed without this teaching method of his. Non-ordinary and possibly fatal. I honour my teacher the dragon and because of this knowledge the outpouring of love I have for him is beyond this world and I thank him so much for what he has done to transform his student and son. My love for the Goddess and God knows no bounds.

The methods of teaching by your celestial father are not kind and will prevent most from ever fulfilling the reason they came to this strange world in the first place. Not only that, but there is no way I can recommend this course due to the possibility of a really unfavourable outcome and the end of your game. The obstacles to success are immense and the odds are slim. Love and light are not the methods of God but instead it is trial and tribulation. The journey involves transformation by putting your feet to the fire and your soul to the test. Most will seek refuge and relief but I promise if you stand up and be counted you will gain for yourself a freedom and an inner-knowing that will exceed anything you can ever imagine. 

i am god

The permission to think non-linearly and break free of the hold sequential time has on my thinking allows for a major leap in the thought process where whole avenues of discovery suddenly appear at your doorstep. Because of time, we build sequences and hierarchies. What comes first is thus imbued with power, a sense of ownership, and a claim on truth all because it came first. Releasing yourself from the hold of time, allows you to view events as processes that are unfolding. The flower eventually comes forth when the seed sprouts, the plant grows, and then comes the fruit. Is the flower some innocent child of the plant or is the flower the initial energetic desire that created the seed that allowed its splendour to come forth? The seed did indeed come from the flowering fruit and for the astute student they can understand nature reveals the creator hides within their creation.

Along the road of the unfolding grandeur of the spiritual journey, eventually the path leads you to the point where you know you need to live in truth, tell the truth, and most importantly recognize the truth about yourself. Until you drop the narrative perpetuated by culture and ego, you will remain forever ignorant to who you are. It will never happen for you if the truth of self is denied. To continue along the artery of knowledge means giving up the stories told about yourself. This also means the behaviours you deny and hide and what lights you up. There is so much to acknowledge in order to live in truth. Nobody wants to do this and face the inner critic as well as the enforcers of behaviour in culture. It’s better to acquiesce to the demands of others and never step into the power that awaits you and as the hero fulfill your destiny.

But what if you do? What if after years of denial and frustration you finally accept who you are and drop the stories? What if you do walk in truth? Internally, I started to do just this. I’m not ready to go all in but I have accepted what is painfully obvious to myself. Because of where I am on the spiritual path, immediately the flower started to blossom and I started to see it. I had to deny it at first because it was too much.

I am the flower. I am the pinnacle of an evolutionary process that allowed me to come forth as the crowning achievement of creation. I am the pulse of spellbound energetic desire that put this whole process in motion and eventually I made my appearance in a world of my own making. Goddess and God are me - my feminine and masculine energetic halves who come together and create the one who is the god and that child is me. Hey! I just realized I’m God! You are too, but since you don’t believe it and think I’m nuts, I get to bask in my temporary omnipotence until you wake up and see it.

This is the apex of the spiritual journey that can only be accessed by going within and listening to your inner guides. As a teacher, I can only point the way. In fact, that is the role of any external instructor worth her or his salt on this path. They show you the way but it is you and you only that has to take the step through the door. It is the essence of shamanism where the role of the shaman is to be the doorman. Any teacher who tells you different is trying to collect you as a follower of their bullshit. Nobody can do this for you; I can try to explain the outline of the journey and let you in on some knowledge however you have to experience and understand it yourself or my mouth noises are just hollow words and for you a belief in someone else’s beliefs. I’ll point the way, tell you to go within, and help you get there. The master teachers will be found there. Don’t be scared. It’s all waiting, just for you.

An enlightened teacher intuitively knows they are God but they don’t give the show away. How could you? Making the claim you are God, inherently the only god, is the height of lunacy however true it may be. The maestro knows we are all God and endeavours to point you towards the path that will reveal this secret to you.