disturbed

The most disturbing thing I have ever been a part of in my life was an Ayahuasca ceremony. I can say on multiple occasions I have been highly disturbed by what transpired. What has been disturbing is the darkness contained within the experience which I not only witnessed in vision but also a feeling of unease and intuition that something I have unearthed here just isn’t my normal and mostly comfortable self. The darkness encountered is a barrier to further exploration of the subconscious and brings upon the inner explorer a time of crisis and questioning whether they want to continue to dive into the depths. The divide at this point is whether you want to continue with ceremonies and exploring consciousness or do you give them up? If you give them up the rational excuse is that it was incredibly illuminating to experience the visionary but that was all you needed or wanted to see. If you do continue on in the journey then you become hyper-aware of the bad trip. So, in my case when I first went exploring back in 2013 I was pummelled by my subconscious and spent almost a year recovering and then it was another year before mustering the courage to continue on. I developed strategies to deal with the bad trip, aided by the advice of others. It is a necessary part of the journey, as the exploration of all of consciousness isn’t easy once you have had that bad trip. There are barriers to exploring your hidden dark side and well if there weren’t these blocks then it wouldn’t be hidden, now would it? When I continued on the path the darkness kept returning, hinting at something I didn’t want to face up to. I had my defences readied for the onslaught though and learned how to successfully navigate the storm. The way through it is to disengage the mind and enter into the heart space. It works 100% of the time and so the exploration of consciousness becomes easier since I can handle all which comes my way.

I never leave things alone and I always want to poke at it with a stick. I’ll get the answer or solution to a problem and instead of being content or decide to live happily ever after I instead develop a better microscope and peer even deeper into the mystery. So on my last journey to Peru I was presented with the de facto answer of how to live in bliss, essentially to be high, and it is through the heart and love. I was shown to be in the heart space and full of love will take you to heaven. To engage the mind will bring you back down and eventually to hell. I was given situations over and over again by the plant teachers which showed me how it works. I was elated that all my work with the plant medicines over the course of seven years and about forty ceremonies paid off with this wisdom and knowledge.

I have been integrating these lessons and have gone even further with them. With the help of Ram Dass, I learned even more about being love and how we tend to eventually re-introduce the mind into the heart space and from that develops possessiveness and jealousy along with fear of losing a loved one. We tend to look to others to give us love when in fact love comes from within and from this knowledge we can learn how to become love and have love for all instead of it being something in a limited quantity which is reserved for only some. These were really powerful lessons. I would of course relapse back into the mind and become judgmental and find others annoying but I’d catch myself and remember my plant medicine teachings. If you want to live in hell then keep it up…

It brought up a lot of soul searching and insights. First of all, who am I kidding? I know I still have desires and traits which aren’t all that inclusive and loving. I looked back on my life and wow I’m kind of fucked up. Am I a creep? My dark side sure can be creepy. It’s all still there; I just recognize and have come to terms with the complete self. Then I got to thinking about the bad trips and the darkness. In sum, I reacted the way the lower self/darkness wanted me to react. It’s all part of setting up the barriers to the exploration of all of consciousness. I’m smart and resourceful and so when I continued on the journey of course I learned how to navigate the darkness. Plant medicines present the darkness to you over and over and then you avoid it so you can have a happy time. You see how it works? Funny isn’t it? Plant medicines are trying to get you to experience all of consciousness. The lower self knows all the tricks in how to keep you away from the dark regions and stay hidden; scare you and then help you develop strategies so it is all love and light. Anesthetize the plant medicine experience so that the darkness within remains buried. Engage the heart, go to heaven. Engage the mind, go to hell.

The mind is the doorway into the bad trip and the road paved to hell. When you engage the mind while on plant medicines then you head off into crazy territory. It’s chaotic and undisciplined, like a conspiracy theory on steroids. However, the mind gets you into the lower self and surfaces the darkness so you can finally integrate it all. I have the requisite knowledge to be aware of the pitfalls of the exploration of the lower self. How disciplined is my mind after 52 years of life experience and seven years of consciousness exploration? Despite all efforts to remain hidden I am essentially saying to the darkness within, “I see you!” Where does this path lead?

The precipice where I stand reveals the depths of transformation where if feelings go without recognition, are ignored, and unrequited then they turn dark. Therein lies the dilemma and to bring balance into one’s life. The desperate longing and search for connection if not fulfilled turns into pleasure seeking or escapism to temporarily satiate the need and eventually the reckoning comes and that manifests as depression or destructive behaviour. I understand it and would make a good psychologist. Therein lies the challenge: are you a teacher or a doer?

I love a challenge; it is definitely a source of motivation and will lead me to a single-minded focus to solve the problem. Thou shall not pass. Who decides the line between sanity and insanity? I have identified my darkness as a problem; whether that is valid or not is a question I leave open and will reserve the right to answer at a later date. Instead, I know I am energized to keep looking now that I know I can handle it without running scared or thinking I will go crazy. The key to the next phase of the journey is to be heart-centred so when I do hit the spigot it doesn’t destroy me. Love is the elixir which transforms the destructive tendencies of desires that rise up from the darkness and are given currency by the mind. I need to find the source and embrace the part of me which lies in the depths.

quantified magic

In terms of levels of consciousness that are available, the level we are experiencing is vibrating at a rate that is based upon ego structure along with logic and reason, so any of the old superstitions like magic, spells, and related enchantments are a level of consciousness long past and relegated to the category of woo. At one time it was accessible, as we were vibrating on its wavelength so we experienced transference, shared thoughts and emotions, and feelings such as empathy and compassion were the norm. You could say it was a more inclusive vibe that was feminine in its makeup and made us more open to love. Conversely, we now operate on a level of vibration that is self-centred and goal orientated. It truly is a man’s world. Unfortunately, now when you come across groups that are saying they perform magic, they are of the same ilk as the conspiracy theorists who are trying to suck you into their deluded forms of thinking. They are also appealing to a higher power with a petition for change via fiat which is similar to the modality of prayer. There is a failure to realize their own divinity and the accessible magic which starts with them. This is unfortunate because it devalues magic and consigns it to the fringe. Most who currently say they are practising magic and its derivatives are being disingenuous and they are taking you away from really discovering what magic is.

Magic is something that can be quantified by science and brought into the reasoning world because magic is obfuscated forms of vibrational consciousness. For instance, every time I’m in the set and setting which is the conduit for the energy that is potentiated through ingesting Huachuma, I can experience states of transference of energy plus connections with nature and other beings which is normally unavailable. To me, that is what magic is and I think if enough people who are analytical did experience this phenomenon, they would start experimenting and mapping these accessible levels of consciousness we can vibrate into. The result of this inquiry would demystify and bring magic back into our realm. Once magic is brought out into the open it then ceases to become magic but that’s not to deny that it does exist. It becomes science and knowledge at that point. Take for instance the discovery of electricity. It's a hidden power that when first discovered would seem like magic to those who were living what we would consider a primitive life. The magic of electricity has brought us so much in terms of advancing civilization. Eventually, we were able to ascertain the properties of the mysterious force and through science make predictions of its behaviour. This allowed for mass distribution and it lights up our lives. The mysterious is the magic and it is exactly because it is not integrated into our logic and reasoning culture we don’t have access to it.

As civilization presses forward, all that once was magic becomes demystified and through observation of its regularities and properties it becomes science. Science takes on the role of prophecy in being able to predict behaviours. Imagine how magical fire must have been at one point in our civilizations? In fact, it is still pretty magical to sit around a campfire and gaze at the flickering flames. Just because we have observed the properties and reduced the combustion down into its constituent parts doesn’t make it any less magical that such a phenomenon exists. This line of inquiry also presents us with the perplexing question: why does phenomenon such as fire and electricity exist?

A plant medicine experience is very magical and can be unexplainable. Fundamentally in working long enough with them, you discover that plant medicines are consciousness technologies. The results are unpredictable, much like our psyche, and therefore are a challenge to investigate or create a blueprint for the trip. That’s not to say that generalizations cannot be made about the experience or that if you spend enough time with them then the commonality of the experience will become evident among those who take the substances. A big reason for their unpredictability is the experience is never just about the plant; rather, it involves the plant and most importantly you. It is an exploration of your consciousness which has been tinged by your psyche and culture at large making each trip and individual unique. That’s the spice of life in which we all come from the same source however we all carve out our own unique path, contributing to the tapestry of life.

The plant teacher Huachuma can put out some serious love vibes through its medicine. Through experiencing that state of consciousness it can light the spark within to motivate us towards bringing that state of consciousness back into the world at large. In sum, that what’s we are dealing with because if we still were living in a world that was tuned into the love frequency, then drinking Huachuma surely wouldn’t be medicinal, but rather just odd! 

everyone is your crush

Let the dark side out for a walk as it’s the only way to peer in to the workings and underpinnings of self. When I’m on the pure and righteous path, insights into my darkness are pretty piss poor. My intuition and thought cisterns are filled in the coming days after a dalliance with the dark. This is nothing to be afraid of and I’m not preaching hedonism as love comes from this buried region as well. Let love out of the cage; all forms of it. It’s very instructive. It’s pretty delicious to get a crush on someone. I love that feeling of surrender to cupid’s arrow and just enjoying the intoxicating feeling that washes over you in the presence of your muse. That is until the mind takes over and makes it a problem. The projecting into the future, the uncertainty of whether this love will go unrequited, then the eventual nesting instinct, and the need to possess. Thoughts turn to jealousy and needing to control the behaviour of others. What a shit show this whole feeling devolved into! How do we not get trapped in this nightmare? Love all, serve all, and create no sorrow. Everyone is your crush.

Can I do that? Love all and treat everyone as the beloved? What a challenge that is. I mean if you want a lifelong project bequeathed to you by inveterate seeking then here you go. Give up selfish love for the love of all. Wow! What a predicament I find myself in.

Ram Dass talks about learning to love all and transcending the paradigm of loving only one at a time. I’m a long way away from finding fulfillment that way. I know exactly what he is talking about though as I don’t think our maturity level is at the point where romantically we can handle loving unconditionally. Relationships always end up involving possessiveness and jealousy which pull you away from the original feeling of love generated from the heart. To transcend this is to love all. To taste love is to want more. The feeling is roused from being with others but comes from within. I know what he is saying.

A path of the heart is through plant medicines. With their teachings, no matter who you are, you will glimpse this love that is pervasive within the universe. You will feel it and when you do you will reach a stage where the door to your heart has been pried open. It might take a while to unlock but eventually if you keep it up and you are with a practitioner that is skilled in doing this, then that door to love will be opened and you are going to experience bliss that comes from the heart when you start to love others and yourself. It’s not new to us because in our younger years we probably did at one point experience an open heart however culture and life happens and for a lot of us we shut down the heart as part of a self-preservation mode, or you just get tired of being hurt, and so you encase your heart because you don’t want to feel that hurt anymore. There’s a level of maturity, and I’m not at that point, however I can see it now where when you love someone it is not unconditional so we introduce the mind into our feelings of love and then that’s when we get possessive and jealous. There are all these factors that go into this love we feel and it is the ultimate teacher where we just get so bogged down into the other issues like is that person going to continue to love us or do they really love us and we start questioning it. Even through love we still bring ourselves into this hell world and ultimately it’s not what love is supposed to do so there has to be another way or an answer to the question: how do I not get trapped in this?

Before I went down on this latest trip, I started listening to a bunch of Ram Dass’ lectures and the content of them I found compelling but obviously some of them you hear what he is talking about but you don’t relate it to your own experiences until you re-experience those feelings. I am so appreciative of Huachumita for giving me the opportunity to experience what had been lost and pretty much forgotten. To feel and be enchanted once again by life and to taste the deliciousness of connection. In Peru all those feelings came up and then when I returned home and listened to Ram Dass again, it was like holy shit he is talking about what I’m going through and the big lesson I got from one of his lectures was that you are love and love comes from within and is not something externally that you find. You may use a catalyst; whether it is a person, nature, or animals and they are the key that unlocks the love that is already in you. Once understood, you realize I can be this walking conduit for love and I don’t have to rely on someone else to constantly give me that juice or look for something that is going to activate this within me; I just need to cultivate it within myself. Instead of just loving one at a time and becoming trapped by that and needing them to activate the love within, the mature destination on the path of the heart is to realize that you are that love and to love everybody instead of just the one and trying to possess that one. I can’t say I’m there yet but at least I understand what he was saying and I see that is the way forward, no matter how much I want to experience that possessive love again. I know from my life history that possessive love never works out. It’s almost like the lesson the Goddess has been trying to teach me all along where our separation is because I wanted to possess her and I can get close but I never can fully have her for my own and she knows that if she gives in and I give in to the desire to possess then the flame dies out and the long separation begins once again.

You don’t find love externally; it’s in your heart. You are looking for those who can help you activate what you already have. We get addicted to others because we haven’t learned this lesson and think we can only find love through external means. Affirm to yourself that you are love.

mapacho the great teacher

Smoking Mapacho, as I have written about before, is a meditation cheat in that it acts as a laxative for the mind and allows you to enter a state of no mind, which makes it easier to connect to universal consciousness as opposed to our individual self-centred and limiting consciousness. The nicotine within tobacco is also a central nervous system stimulator which over time is developed a tolerance. When I first started smoking, it would give me a rush after smoking just one puro, so much so I’d have to sit down, close my eyes, and hang on for the ride, as it was pretty intense. Eventually because of tolerance, I’d have to smoke quite a bit to get to this state and in truth it is pretty hard to smoke a lot of Mapacho over a short period of time. I eventually found a snuff that would achieve this result with a few quick snorts up the nose. It burns, causes an evacuation of the sinus cavities, and sneezing, though worth it when done out in nature. It’s hard to do this in polite company though! This past weekend I learned something about myself and Mapacho. Don Howard would always tell us to "lean into it" and finally I decided to lean into smoking Mapacho. After smoking a couple I just pushed past my block of not wanting to smoke more and continued puffing on a few more. I felt some of the familiar energy I feel with Huachuma return in the form of CNS agitation and I closed my eyes. I saw red, it was peaceful and eventually the red changed to green. Then on to purple, mimicking the rising power of the kundalini as it pierces through the chakras. I felt the vibrations and I opened my eyes and everything was sharp, the birds were chirping, and the splashes of green on this spring day were popping.

There was a lesson being taught to remember to embrace all these varied states of consciousness: the red representing the passion and desire, the green the inclusiveness of the heart, and the purple the higher spiritual state all we seekers try to achieve. It’s a big reason why I consider Alan Watts the greatest spiritual teacher of all. You see Alan was well versed, educated, and understood all the spiritual traditions, yet he didn’t promulgate one specific teaching, nor did he follow or join any of them. He resisted the siren call to become whatever and remained true to the wisdom that the answer is found within and once you discover that truth you don’t need a crutch. Not only that but he didn’t fall for the spiritual trip and think he could become a holy man. Instead, Alan embraced all of it and revelled in his humanity. He drank heavily, tripped on LSD, smoked like a chimney, ate the finest food, divorced and remarried, and had a scandalous affair all the while a practicing minister. In spite of all that or most likely because of it, he recognized that each and everyone one of us was it and there was nothing you really need to do, whether that be angling for a reward in the afterlife or trying to shed karma for past misdeeds.

Mapacho reminded me to keep looking within and all the answers will be waiting. Continuously, the progression of consciousness within has now been red, green, and purple mimicking a set up of my mesa that symbolizes the lower, middle, and upper world crossed with the power of the feminine and the masculine. All is eventually reconciled in the centre; the axis mundi where we stand face to face with the truth. Everything that sums as self presents itself as unquestionably connected. As you look into the mirror whom do you see? Do you see just a lonely and powerless being or do you see it all?

homework

Alan Watts, once again on the trip home from a journey with plant medicines, schools me about life and informs me that all opposites come from the centre and I’m it. My higher and lower self are just aspects of the self, the self is the reconciliation of all, and it’s pretty much everything. When you reconcile all by taking feminine and masculine, lower self, self, upper self, and bring it back to centre which is the axis mundi, you reconstitute what you always had and what you began with. It is not a quest to discover or attain anything; instead, it’s a way in which you remember who you once were and then bring everything back to centre. So, when you do that and you realize you are everything then you become the I am - the eternal self. You realize that there is nothing that is not you. Furthermore, you can take the next step which is if you are everything then to call it a self is a misnomer. There is no self, there just is.

I also learned about the attractive qualities of energy fields. All my life, I was under the cultural illusion of beauty being an external shiny object which drew your attention. I learned it goes way deeper than that ideal as outward appearances are just superficial. Well, I always knew that inner truth but I am perpetually fooled along with everyone in this matter. This is fundamental to advertising and in selling celebrity. There is a connectivity which is beyond the external and mundane that is so powerful once discovered. Physical beauty becomes trivial and you feel deep down in your soul a different connection. That was the lesson on energy fields which my intuition prepared me for prior to heading down to Peru on this trip. I knew my education, which the plant teacher Huachuma started in late 2017, regarding frequency and vibration would be accelerated. I was originally tasked to do some homework on vibration and I was lax in doing the work, figuring it would just naturally come to me. It was always in the back of my mind and so finally I think the teacher of the course was like, "Okay dumb-ass, you are going to get the advanced teachings." It all boiled down on this trip to the lesson of the butterfly and I saw how butterflies in pairs harmonize with each other and I projected that out into how this frequency and vibration trip all works. I started seeing it within myself and how if I could harmonize my energy with others then it brings it to a whole new level. Each change in consciousness is a change in vibration, which unleashes more energy within. Each store of energy then allows you to pierce the next veil.

Sometimes, I think the all is just one big bucket of common energy, we have come forth from this, and when we leave this body we will return to the all. My experiences this time with Huachuma taught me everyone has a distinct field of energy, which we radiate. There are these pulses of energy fields which makes up the essence of who I am and who everyone is. It was undeniable that I have this strong energy field and I recognize it in others. The harmony between two energy fields when they meet and connect is so undeniably powerful and real. The real world application is all part of my education in vibration which continues to unfold.

sekhem and huachuma

I received a reminder recently about ancient Egypt and the power of the Goddess, which is contained in their concept of Sekhem. This energy is the ultimate power in the universe that is used to generate and create. We get this definition of the power here from Egyptologist Dr. Ramses Seleem:

The Sekhem is the electromagnetic body, which circulates in and out of the human body, bringing in the five currents of earth energy to nourish the human soul.  This body is responsible for the healing of disease.  The physicians of ancient Egypt, were therefore, called the priests of Sekhemet.

The Illustrated Egyptian Book of the Dead, Dr. Ramses Seleem, page 94.

An aspect of Hathor, the Great Goddess of Egypt, is the raging lioness called Sekhemet that personifies this power. She sustains life and she can take it away, so for instance when the Pharaoh Amenhotep III was in declining health he commissioned hundreds of idols of the Goddess to be crafted in order to try and curry favour with her healing power. It is no accident that the great physician sage of ancient Egypt, Imhotep, claims as his mother Sekhemet. The rattling instrument called the sistrum that is used to call upon the Goddess was also known as Sekhem. The song brought into existence by the shaking of the sistrum creates the energy field which powers each individual soul. We are all notes of the eternal song.

Ihy - the child of Hathor with sistrum

A while back I wrote a blog post where I tracked the ancient Egyptian concept of the Ka power in all of us which is the life force. For most it is a latent and subtle power that animates you and without Ka you’re dead. During times of agitation or excitation you get hits of adrenaline where you notice you are full of energy which is the amplification of this power. Taking notice of this state of agitation allows you to get a better understanding of this power that courses through you and propels you on through life. Basically it gets you up in the morning but there is a limit to how you can experience it and a lot of people like to do death defying things such as skydiving or anything that gives you a rush because you feel that power and it is quite exhilarating. Sekhem is the source of the life force Ka power within us.

What I have noticed about the plant medicine Huachuma is it's a potentiator of the life force power within us as it amplifies pretty much everything. Once you start working with it you notice this effect and the first few times you drink it’s all new so your reaction is: what the fuck is going on? because everything comes alive and you start noticing nature and its wonder and glory; everything is much more vibrant as in actually vibrating and you feel the electrical surge within you. It’s pulsing energy that affects everything from your feelings, thoughts, and senses; right down to your physical form. A lot of the reaction depends upon your state and what you have previously cultivated. The biggest lessons I learned early on in this latest semester at SpiritQuest involved my constant struggles with being in my head, trying to get out of my head, and then into my heart. I’ve done it enough now that I have learned when I struggle with plant medicines it’s because I’m in my head and I’m thinking. Plant medicines take those thoughts and balloon them into crazy territory and fill you with thoughts of doom and gloom plus paranoia. This happens enough that you can start to work with these reactions and soon you realize externally everything is fine but internally you are struggling. Finally with enough lessons and practice you realize that if I am going to be in my head then I’ve made this choice to create hell on earth. You can extrapolate from the teachings your normal sense of day to day life where you are constantly using the mind and you're projecting and judging things; you’re creating the worst case scenario; you’re thinking of scarcity and am I going to survive and how am I going to get through this? You’re creating this hell on earth for yourself and it clearly shows you that in no uncertain terms so you do this enough and eventually you see this is what as a plant teacher Huachuma is going to get through to you. Now that I have drank seventeen times I realized I can remain ignorant for only so long before taking notice that Huachuma is teaching and it is not doing it in a way that is pounding it into to you but it’s just continually showing the student over and over again the choices made and their effects. The choices are realized immediately while you are in it and you can see obviously this is going to affect me in a subtler way when I’m back in my everyday world integrating my experiences. The opposite reaction lines up with the advice of the maestros and maestras who are looking at you telling you to get out of your head and get into your heart as that’s where you ultimately want to be. That’s a choice you make and even if you have trouble making it stick you still will say to yourself okay I will give this a shot because the head case model isn’t working; I’m going to get into my heart and I’m going to express love and see the beauty of everything around me and the beauty that is in other people. I’m going to stop judging them and just accept them for who they are and accept myself for who I am and that is also amplified to the point where you experience bliss and the best day of your life. It’s the best day you have ever experienced because you are in your heart. You are still challenged by your situation but within this unity and this love you feel for everyone, things just don’t matter and you realize that as long as I maintain this love no matter what happens we will always be there for each other and I can always find this piece of heaven by making a choice to live my life this way. There is the opposite reaction where you can choose to come back into the world and live within your head and create a hell for yourself. When you do make this choice you are able to at least be cognizant of it and then stop if you so please, get back into your heart, and start to live with this abundance of love for everything. This power unlocked by the plant medicine is a great teacher.

That’s what Huachuma in its classic teaching does for you but it goes further still. It is a potentiator but I have also noticed that my energy can be juiced after coming forth as masculine energy. I have found that if you can harmonize with another energy field, feminine in my case, then the feminine is what the ancient Egyptians call Sekhem power or the Shakti/Kundalini serpent power of the Hindus. Huachuma potentiates energy and when you harmonize with another's energy field it is a multiplier. The energy I’ve described as serpent power harmonizes with your store of power. The combination then courses through you and personally it goes into my heart and starts my heart fluttering like crazy which is the most ridiculous feeling of so much power that I have ever come across. I’ve only ever been able to do it if there is in the setting this abundance of realized goddess energy within my sphere of influence. I’ve been in Huachuma before when there hasn’t been this energy around and it’s been like a blissful good day but it hasn’t gone the extra step that goes beyond the boundaries of normal experience. The two sacred energies harmonize as one. I can feel it just enveloping me and I know from approaching others and touching them or sharing the energy that they can feel it as well. It leads me back to what I did learn from studying ancient Egyptians and how they discerned this available energy. They were bang on in describing it as this raging energy that comes from the Goddess and when you access it and then are able to become a conduit for it then it is intoxicating. Since I’ve returned home I have missed it so much and am eager to return and just explore the energy. It’s not like a drug where you want to live permanently in that state rather I want to know and understand it better with the eventuality of sharing it with all.

I remember having a taste of this the first time I ever drank Ayahuasca in the form of the coming of the Goddess and I commented afterwards that men who find this Goddess I could easily see spending the rest of their life trying to make the connection again. This energy has appeared for me again as the Goddess in some Ayahuasca ceremonies but not all. It’s a good reason why I stayed on this quest despite hardship; knowing that she might reappear. Huachuma in the proper set and setting is my way in now to consistently channel her energy. 

fairy tales and magic

After a couple weeks in the jungle it was time to head up into the heavens in the Andes mountains located in the vicinity of north central Peru.

I was eager to continue my lessons with Huachuma as I had fallen in love with the medicine and wasn’t ready to let go. It’s curious how everything works out. Parker is fond of saying that when you let go of old paradigms things start happening for you instead of to you and this is exhibit A. When I started thinking about making this trip to Peru after don Howard had passed away, I wanted to make a pilgrimage to Chavín de Huántar as he had talked so much about it and based his shamanic practice and lineage upon their culture. I mentioned it to Parker and asked if he had time to make the journey out with me to which he eagerly accepted and actually had a contact out that way that don Howard highly recommended. Well things got a rolling from there and before I knew it we had secured not only a seasoned guide but a shamanic practitioner of the highest order! We eventually made plans to spend eight days in the mountains with four more ceremonies of Huachuma at hallowed and sacred sites. In the run up to the trip a friend of Parker’s confirmed he would join us and then while at SpiritQuest we added one more traveller to make it a foursome. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of travelling companions and once again it all just came together in my favour; like it was happening for me. Such good fortune and it’s not lost on me how much of a blessing the whole experience is and the pull to give back to that bank of ayni is strong.

Day 16, Friday February 28th

Our group made it to the town of Chavín early in the morning after a twelve hour overnight bus ride from Lima.

I slept sporadically however the excitement and anticipation of a plant medicine ceremony on the grounds of the fabled Chavín de Huántar at the temple of the jaguar was enough of an adrenaline kick to get me through the day. We met up with the maestro don Martín at 9:30am and he took us to his wonderful store in town which was full of his hand carved stone replicas of Chavín treasures. Then we headed off to the archaeological site of Chavín de Huántar.

The shaman led us down to the river bank where he set up his Mesa amongst the roar of the Mosna river.

The maestro had an impeccable ceremony, punctuated by an offering of coca leaves to Pachamama and then burying the leaves into her womb in the earth. The four of us in the group plus don Martín took turns drinking the filled to the brim cup of Huachuma.

The maestro's preparation of the brew is less reduced and refined than what I was used to via SpiritQuest. It was bright green in colour, there were some chunks of cactus within the cup, and the consistency is more in line with the kind of pulpy and slimy nature of the cactus you would expect. The taste was rather indifferent and probably the easiest of any plant medicines I have drank, though the cup that was filled to the brim was daunting by just looking at the task ahead. After drinking, we separated and went off to a spot along the roaring river.

I dipped my toes into the river, which was very cold, and then admired the scenery while contemplating the ancient connections to a great civilization and the sacredness that this place exuded. Huachumita came on gradually over the next hour and then I felt everything get very relaxed and dreamy while the sounds of nature became clearer. My ask for this round of medicine work was three fold: first I wanted to continue to explore the dream world and the nature of energy that powers creation. Second of all I wanted to continue the Huachuma teachings of heaven and hell as a continual reminder to stay in the heart space. Plus I wanted to continue to explore my passions and desires that seem to rise up whenever I explore my inner true self or ignore my dark side. The effects came on stronger when I closed my eyes so I went with that modality and entered into a dreamlike malaise. Huachumita started teaching me about the carnival and how our energy consciousness enters into lower forms of energy, such as the meat body, and we experience creation as such. We subconsciously glorify these concepts with our language such as the word carné in Spanish for meat and world cultural celebrations of Carnival such as in the Caribbean and Mardi Gras in New Orleans where unabashed hedonism and revelry are the order of the day. We as energetic beings enter into the created world and are in theory free to make of this opportunity what we will. I then explored the ability I have to take something I think about in this dreamlike state and then let the visionary take hold and expand upon this energy my consciousness has brought forth. It re-emphasized the idea we create our own reality both through how we choose to view our predicament and then by also enabling thoughts and events we wish to manifest. This also was in alignment to the teachings of heaven and hell where if I engage the mind and think negative thoughts, the medicine will take these mind creations and play them out to the extreme. The lesson is to be careful of what you do cultivate within the mind if you must be in that space. I then got up and walked around and felt a calming peacefulness within before we re-gathered around don Martín’s portable Mesa about two hours after we first drank. We were all offered more and all downed a second cup. This time the intensity hit quicker and amped everything up another notch. I walked around in the grass while the hot sun beat down upon my exposed skin as the familiar energy started quickly pulsing through me, signalling the approach of the god. The energy was very serpentine and I swayed to its rhythms that were enveloping me. I took notice of the agave plant and went over to feel the serrated edges of its leaves while admiring its unique appearance. It dawned on me that the serpentine nature of its leaves is related to the image I see when I feel the passion and lust of the medicine coursing through me. In the Amazon it always appeared both reptilian as well as plant like and I realized the agave plant here in the Andes mountains I had been foreshadowing. I then started seeing this plant everywhere as once again I explored the rising desires that are sexual in nature and are part of my true nature. This part of the medicine stayed with me the rest of the day and came on in intense waves of lustful energy. I started to fully realize the reason behind why this energy would sometimes amp up. It goes back to an exploration of divine feminine and masculine energy back in late 2017 and how the coming together of the two gives rise to the sum in the form of the coming forth of the god. This energy was the culmination of everything I’d learned and the magic was real. I sat with this for a while while also realizing the strength of the sun at this high altitude was both energizing me as well as cooking my skin during this day full of the sun’s loving rays. Don Martín then took us on a walk through the temple grounds where he had privileged access to all the spots normally unavailable to tourists. He guided us to special energy centres within the space while I continued to work with my pulsing energy.

Eventually the lesson of heaven and hell became present once again and I started wondering about human sacrifice at Chavín and I concocted a far fetched story in my mind putting myself in the role of a modern day sacrifice. I eventually moved past this mental hell but it was a good reminder to keep a leash on the wanderings of the mind. We visited the underground crypts and labyrinth where the stone idol called the Lanzon is situated.

The idea of this god is it depicts our divine nature in that the figure is an anthropomorphic amalgamation of the three shamanic worlds of lower, middle, and upper worlds represented by the serpent, jaguar, and eagle. Within the temple the god’s height encompasses over 16 feet and touches the subterranean, the earth, and protrudes out from the temple in order to touch the sky and reveal its function as an axis mundi. The left hand is lowered with the back of the hand visible while the right arm is raised and open palm is visible; all this representing a coming together and mediation of opposing forces. When you alter your consciousness and the god comes to you, then is seen these truths and the knowledge and identity of the central idol of Chavín is revealed. The uninitiated and casual observer is left perplexed at this strange figure. It is always interesting to acknowledge the deep psychological knowledge of ancient civilizations that we tend to dismiss as primitive when in fact they were representing our lower self, self, and higher self within the temple grounds and idol here at Chavín. Not only that but they combined it with the need to reconcile the feminine and masculine energies and all this they represented in the Andean cross called the chakana. I wonder why our intellectual disciplines of anthropology, archaeology, psychology, and comparative religion don’t synergize towards a greater understanding of the human condition but instead remain separate disciplines disconnected from these truths? The layout of the temple is practically screaming out these answers but instead it's treated as a curiosity of long ago while now hosting groups of ignorant selfie-stick tourists. You could feel the deep reverence don Martín has for the place and also within his soul you can see the sadness over what this place has become. We will never reclaim what was lost here. It will take a catastrophic event that would send our civilization back to the Stone Age where we start over. Access to the Lanzon was blocked by a glass door which in my reverence I banged into, not realizing it was there. I felt the power of the central idol and felt its snarling presence. As I stood there mesmerized I remembered to enter into the heart space and the snarl turned into a smile. Later don Martín got us full access and we all gathered around the Lanzon and felt its healing power envelop us, much like the Mesa at SpiritQuest. Don Martín managed to get us into other privileged places such as a crypt that was about four storeys underground where I experienced the deepest and quietest meditation of my life.

The intense energy continued to fluctuate through my body in waves and I gave up on having anymore thoughts and just examined the impact on my body. We went for dinner and feasted on seafood before calling it a night. Another lifetime in a day.

Day 18, Sunday March 1st

We drove almost two hours up into the mountains to Huascarán National Park and made our way to Laguna de Purhuay at an elevation of about 12,000 feet.

Our shaman knew the area like the back of his hand and led us on a path that culminated in entering through three small passageways into a circular enclosure that housed a pit filled with rocks.

The three circular enclosures represented the upper, middle, and lower worlds. The pit at one time was filled with water and the ceremony was to represent water, the Yacumama mesada. He set up his portable Mesa and then we splashed perfume upon ourselves before making an offering to Pachamama with coca leaves which we then buried under the rocks in the pit. We took turns drinking a full cup of Huachuma and I was the last to drink. The maestro immediately offered us more and he gave me three quarters of a cup as the second person to drink this time. I drank it all down but then came pretty close to vomiting it back up. I miraculously held it back and then just sat there trying to regain my composure. We were then sent off to explore for the next four and a half hours. I climbed up an incline on the path and sat down on a rock however soon afterwards I started to feel sick so I got up and paced around until eventually I puked up the whole brew. Though my stomach felt much better I was disappointed I’d be pretty much out of the medicine all day. I lay down on the rocks and had a pleasant time with my eyes closed just taking in the sounds. With my eyes open I could see the energy around me but that was as far as I got with the effects of the medicine. I got up and went for a long hike on the different paths which reminded me of going on hikes with my dog in the woods where I bring my Mapacho and make a connection with my higher self.

It’s almost like that was the lesson in that I knew from the last ceremony that I didn’t need to be in the medicine anymore to have teachings because if I go to a quiet place or do walking meditation I make the connection and do have profound revelations and insights. I have known this for a while and so the day was another way to practice this while I was away from the direct effects of the medicine. I was trailed on the hike by a pack of dogs that were loud so I still had my usual canine companions following me. 

I started going through my dark side traits and since I had reconciled with them in the final Ayahuasca ceremony, I was just once again going through them and bringing them into the light as it is a good exercise to not bury them any longer. I sat down under a shelter when it started to pour and just started laughing at myself again. It had taken me 52 years to finally reconcile with who I am and just accept it. I thought of a deck of cards and how there are 52 cards in the pack and felt this had a connection to where I am in my life and how I can spend the rest of my lifetime as a wild card just like the joker. I then thought of the comedian Bill Hicks and this disturbing routine he would do where he would become the lustful ‘goat boy.’ He had clearly reconciled with his dark side and wasn’t afraid to bring it out into the open in a comedic and baring his inner most thoughts kind of way. I felt respect and gratitude for him just because he said fuck it, this is who I am. This was all I needed from the day to feel content in this gorgeous location. We ate fruit and smoked Mapacho before heading back, stopping along the way for some trout soup.

Once again a talk with Parker helped me clarify what I have learned on this latest probing of my consciousness. I was telling him of my dark side and my discoveries of it being my true self while he reminded me that my higher self, my light side I bring out into the world, is just as big a part of me as my dark side. It allowed me to clearly see the harmony of self and how unique we are to embody these two halves that combine to make the self. I thought about the flimsiness of the character we play as ego and how that can be shattered in a blink of an eye, especially if the dark side leads us down a path of recklessness that becomes an albatross to maintaining a respectable identity. Funny thing this life is, where we need to put the brakes sometimes on our passions and desires. I thought of my first Ayahuasca ceremony this trip where I was racing past police cars, yellow lights, and then red lights in a seemingly out of control manner. It all started to make a great deal of sense.

Day 19, Monday March 2nd

Butterfly Lessons

Ever since discovering my hidden feminine half I've had a special affinity with the butterfly. The first time I remember it as an omen was my initial trip to SpiritQuest where after a difficult ceremony a butterfly appeared and then the following ceremony was an appearance of the Goddess in her tower which was a ceremony for the ages. When I went to SpiritQuest in March of 2019 the symbolism and appearance of the butterfly was off the charts representing the female sex organs. Once again during this round of my most recent Ayahuasca ceremonies, the butterfly appeared as I chased after the Goddess. During the second Huachuma mesada ceremony at SpiritQuest this year a flock of butterflies appeared as I found the key to heaven. Finally revealed at Chavín I got the lesson of proximity of energetic fields through the synchronization of two butterflies in flight.

There is a connection of the butterfly to the intense sexual energy I perceive with Huachuma. I have drank Huachuma enough now to be able to sit with this energy and figure out what potentiates it. For sure when you drink Huachuma you feel this energy but for me on some of my journeys this energy becomes next level and so intense. I have labelled it serpent power and the kundalini rising up within. Lately it has been taking over my body with this intense fluttering as well as when I close my eyes this intense sexual passion and energy appears as these hot and smouldering colours. Words don’t do this justice.

During the Huachuma ceremony at Chavín I was feeling this energy when I spotted two yellow butterflies flying around coming closer to each other and almost touching and then flying off. They would continually repeat this behaviour in my presence. It started to dawn on me that their proximity to one another was in essence a union of the two, a harmonic convergence, forming a connection that was probably similar to the feelings I get with plant medicines. I remembered my studies of ancient Egypt where the male gods depicted as frogs in the Ogdoad all needed the power of the Goddess as the serpent to be effective. It points to a metaphor of the polarity of a battery and the two poles of feminine and masculine to release the charge. Each power on its own is dormant until they come together.

So I had my answer and looked back on my Huachuma ceremonies where I have felt this power. In all these ceremonies is the setting and presence of strong feminine energy. The proximity of the goddess energy, like the example of the butterflies, is what charges the energy within me and sends me to the heights of energetic bliss.

Day 20, Tuesday March 3rd

We left Chavín early at 6am and made our way towards Huaraz, stopping after a three hour ride at a spot in the Cordillera Negra mountain range called Hatun Mache which is a Bosque de Rochas that translates as forest of rocks.

We were led to a natural cave by don Martín where he set up his Mesa and then blew into his conch shell which echoed off the natural amphitheater into the breathtaking views of the mountains.

I told the maestro I only wanted to drink one cup and then wait for a bit before drinking a second cup in order to limit the chances of vomiting it back up again. The shaman’s brew doesn’t taste awful, it is a little bit mucous like, and with an empty stomach the first cup set pretty well. I went for a walk and explored the rock forest before finding a place to settle. The scenery of the forest was fantastic and I lamented the fact I left my camera back at the cave. The first hour and a half with the medicine was peaceful and dreamy though I wasn’t feeling energetic. I returned to don Martín’s Mesa, drank another cup, and then grabbed my camera to photograph the rocks as we were given twenty minutes before we would move on. Little did I know don Martín was going to lead us on an epic adventure through the rock forest. The rocks were beyond belief and their grandeur was heightened by the effects of Huachumita taking hold.

We hiked quite a distance through this strange and magical place that was seemingly endless. We were so high up, close to 14,000 feet, that we could see the clouds roll in around us.

The maestro had us stop at this surreal place with towering cliffs and menacing rocks for two hours as the medicine’s effects ratcheted up.

I laid down on the rocks and just witnessed the energy grow with intensity until I started to hear a choir singing in the heavens around us and then a clap of thunder interrupted the performance. I thought of angels and dragons as the clouds finished rolling in which completely encased us in a fog. It was like a scene in some kind of enchanted fairy tale and I became the hero of the story, full of courage, who ventures into the heavens to find and slay the dragon. The dragon is full of pride and wants to be known as the strongest and smartest of all. I knew I could never defeat him by challenging him to a fight but I knew I could outsmart him which really pisses him off. He could take me out with one blast of his breath but he has honour and will engage in this battle of wits. I have known since I started drinking plant medicines that the quest I am on would come down to this: I’d seek out the dragon and then take him down. Here I was in the heavens realizing this was all really true. I couldn’t believe it because it is the stuff of fantasy even though my plant medicine journeys would continually reveal this quest to me. So here I was in the heart space and now fully believing in this fairy tale and it was happening, basically the culmination of this seven year journey. In an interesting and unexpected twist, Huachumita took metaphor and presented it as reality. The next ceremony at Heaven's Gate has become very intriguing to say the least. I sat on a rock, full of courage, and contemplated the completion of my hero’s journey as it was all coming together at this very moment. I felt the magic in the world and smiled at this dreamworld we live in. This all coincides with this book I have been researching and writing for the last several years which is reaching its conclusion as well and it is all about defeating the dragon. This life has become reality shrouded in fantasy.

The clouds had completely enveloped us by this time as we began the trek back to the entrance.

Without don Martín’s guidance I would have been lost forever in Medusa’s stone forest. In fact I’m not sure this place exists. I think it re-appears every morning at daybreak before disappearing once again in late afternoon. The drive back to Huaraz was full of the energy ebbing and flowing. My music was heavenly and seemed to be playing at a slower speed. The four of us went for dinner, we were all still so high and feeling the love, while the medicine stayed strong. We talked until 11pm and then feeling a reprieve in the energy, settled in for a good night’s sleep as the last page in the fairy tale turned over.

This was undoubtably the most strange and incredible journey I have had with Huachuma. The sum of my medicine journeys have prepared me well to face any adversity with an open heart and courage and to stay clear of engaging the mind. Just let it flow. I learned the lessons well and was the ultimate hero today in facing something so much more powerful than me and chiding the dragon by telling him I will outsmart him in the end. During past journeys with Huachuma I would have been reduced to a heightened sense of fear at what was all transpiring before me; now I know enough to stay in the heart centre and face whatever comes at me. The battle is won with courage and it is something don Howard would reference when he’d ask “Where do you think courage comes from?"

You can’t make this stuff up.

Day 22, Thursday March 5th

I have completed sixteen Huachuma ceremonies over the course of the last five years with the final one of this latest round of work a bit later this morning. I think I can speak with some sort of clarity on the effects of the medicine.

Number one is that it is not a hallucinogen. Visions are sporadic if you get them at all. Instead Huachuma is a clarigen that amplifies everything, whether that is realizing the beauty of nature, feelings, your open heart, your distrusting mind, sounds, and energy. The connection and harmonization between two energy polarities such as feminine and masculine is also laid bare if you take notice.

Along the same line, Huachuma is a potentiator of the energy in your body. Everything becomes more focused and clear and as you start to work with the medicine you pick up on this and discover what is happening in a way that makes it undeniable. Your consciousness is elevated to the point where you are seeing and feeling a different perspective of what you have always been perceiving and this allows you to see things in a new light.

If I am around something such as the beauty in nature or someone I am attracted to then the pull of the energy is undeniable. I have witnessed this enough to see that just being in the setting of and the energy being expressed leads to a harmonization of the two energy fields and this joining leads to an incredible feeling of pleasure throughout the body that could be thought of as a full body orgasm. It can come on as rising energy that makes you flutter and at first experience you can be taken aback by it however when it continually happens you take notice of why it is happening and then you can relax and enjoy its power.

Today marked the last ceremony of this epic trip and my proverbial cup is full. I had no asks for this ceremony and just wanted to be a conduit for the energy that flows through me, always amplified by the Huachuma medicine. We drove about three hours from Huaraz to Laguna de Llanganuco, otherwise known as Heaven’s Gate which is part of the Huascarán National Park located in the Cordillera Blanca mountain range. About half the drive was up the mountain on a bumpy dirt road that felt like a rickety wooden rollercoaster. The drive was more than worth it as we reached an elevation of 13,000 feet and were greeted by a crystal clear turquoise lagoon and soaring mountain tops.

We hiked along the water’s edge, past the tourist trails, and into a secluded area that was hidden by some brush that the shaman told us was don Howard’s favourite spot.

The maestro conducted another breathtaking and flawless ceremony and I downed a cup of the medicine with ease on my empty and fasting stomach.

The others in the group downed two cups but I didn’t want to take a chance of purging so don Martín gave me an hour before I would drink a second cup. During the first hour once again the senses became alert and sharpened. I surveyed the beautiful scenery and noticed clouds covering the snow capped Huascarán mountain peak.

I wondered if the dragon was veiled by the clouds and if I would see him when the clouds lifted? I spent some time taking pictures of my fellow travellers as the medicine gave me a peaceful and calm feeling. The hour passed by relatively quickly and I drank another full cup with relative ease. Within five minutes I was feeling the intense energy and coming of the god that envelops me while we all went our separate ways. At this point in our multi-ceremony journeys we all pretty much practice the STFU method and so for the next two hours we just all sat or stood alone with the medicine.

The energy load was strong and I felt like a conduit for all the energy in our world. Through belief and desire I realize I shaped my world through the choices made as the energy is then directed into whatever is chosen. I was reminded of my light and dark sides and how the energy vacillates between the two extremes, creating the self at the midway point of the crest and trough of the energetic wave. All is vibration, as the Goddess explained to me the first time I ever drank Ayahuasca. The knowledge download of the light and dark sides of me being a wave pattern was such a great revelation and should allow me to just reconcile with myself and live a more accepting and peaceful life, not wanting to bury parts of me I shun anymore because of culture and expectations. Without both polarities there is no life; instead everything would come to a standstill and without motion there is no life. To live a pure and holy life is to cease to manifest.

I also pondered those who chase an adrenaline rush where the energy we carry around is amplified by putting oneself in a situation where the adrenaline increases the energy load within. Huachuma for me is doing this and also transforming the energy into the power that is behind all of life that consists of the all encompassing love of the feminine source and the consciousness of the masculine source.

The intensity of the medicine increased and the next wave hit as a blast of sexual energy. I became quite fidgety and paced around as it kept growing stronger. I wondered how much of this my body could handle? Parker lent me his sunglasses so I could look directly at the sun which was so high and radiant in the sky and shining with a glorious intensity. By just staring at the sun the energy subsided and I felt a peaceful calm wash over me. I had laid down to stare at the sun as up to this point in today’s journey I had remained upright because the Huachuma settles better in my stomach while upright. Now it felt way more enjoyable to remain lying down even after I gave Parker his sunglasses back. The waves of intense energy returned as I rolled away from direct contact with the sun. At this point Kylie walked past me and grabbed my outstretched hand. The act of holding her hand allowed my energy to transfer to her and I felt a reprieve. It was a double edged sword though as the more I felt her touch the waves of energy intensified and this went on for a while.

The maestro had prepared another ceremony, this time with Pachamama, the great spirit of Mother Earth. He dug a hole in the ground and made offerings of coca followed by corn mixed with grains. We all had a turn to make an offering and I thanked the great Mother for all she had done for me, for this magical day I was currently in love with, and how she created this playground for her children, who are the manifestations of the feminine and masculine energies that pervade all of creation. She created the world in order that we may experience life in a conscious body and play games such as the one I am playing where I will slay the dragon while seeking to free my other half in some extended chase and teasing foreplay divine scenario. I had no more to ask of her as she has done so much for me and I affirmed I’d forever be in her service and need to step up my game in regards to calling out the destruction of this amazing planet we all share. We all took turns with our offerings and then we took the dirt in our hands and covered the offerings while giving thanks. It was one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’d ever had the privilege to be a part of.

After a fruit explosion in our mouths, we cuddled up against the cliff of the mountain and don Martín told us the story of the two great mountains of the lagoon as star-crossed lovers who express their eternal love as the two mountains who in their grandeur face each other for eternity.

We started the hike back to the passenger van with Kylie, Cain, and myself taking our sweet time keeping up with the rest of the group as we drank in as much of the experience as possible. Feeling elated, we kept stopping for pictures. Eventually we caught up to the group at a prime spot for taking pictures against the backdrop of the lagoon and Heaven’s Gate, so-called that because there was no way to determine when the earth merged into heaven. The reminder of don Howard became clear when he said, “you don’t find heaven, you realize it.” A big assist goes out to Huachumita for giving me the key to heaven. As the moon made an appearance the backdrop became all the more surreal.

We became local celebrities as some of the Peruvian tourists wanted to take their picture with us gringos dressed in ponchos. It was quite hilarious.

The bus ride back to Huaraz was so memorable while our hearts were wide open. It rekindled in me what it was like to make connections with people and share a moment of really enjoying their presence. I had long forgotten these feelings and to experience all this once again was a gift beyond measure and I’m so grateful for the opportunity. It was ultimately a lesson in learning that love comes not from an external source but has been in your heart all along. Instead of looking for it, express it. I was energetically wide open with gratitude for my heart, Pachamama, Huachumita, the shaman, and my hermanos and hermana. It was another gift from another lifetime in a day that just keeps on giving.

We went for dinner with the maestro on this last night with him with the energy still present and returning in waves. I eagerly ate my first meal of the day and we ended staying up talking and laughing until 1:30am before calling it a night.

This whole three week adventure has been a gift beyond any conceivable expectation and has allowed me to just accept myself for who I am and learn to stay high and in bliss is the path of the heart while realizing that to engage the mind more than necessary will lead to a hellish existence.

Day 24, Saturday March 7

We are back in Lima and being in a big and bustling city has brought me back to reality. I've had some pangs of home sickness throughout these three weeks I have been away but now it is full on and the prospect of being in Lima any longer than I need to seems to be unwelcome. I’m scheduled to leave early Monday morning but I think I will try to change it to early Sunday morning. It will be good to get back Sunday as it is my dog Luna’s birthday. She probably thinks I’m dead.

I have a lot to unpack mentally from this trip and integrate. Every thing I asked for I believe I have received an answer and now I just have to connect all the information and synthesize all I have learned. One big take away is to stop pretending or striving to be someone you are not. I was shown I have a dark and light side and that is what energizes and enlivens my self. To deny one is to affect and nullify the other. Also I was shown that in order to stay high and in a state of bliss then you need to live in the heart and limit engagement of the mind. I asked for this lesson repeatedly from Huachuma and I was given it which allowed me to fully understand it. I went from experiencing the constant cycling between a state of being in heaven to a trip to hell enough times to really grasp that it is all about choice and how you wish to live and perceive your surroundings. It was a lesson that had to be experienced over and over throughout many years and ceremonies in order to finally get it to sink in which it did fully and completely after don Martín’s mesada at Chavín. I knew after that one I didn’t have to play that game anymore. One constant for me concerning plant medicines is how they amplify everything and that’s how you learn from them. Huachuma’s potentiation of energy just takes every feeling and super-charges them so you can extrapolate their subtle effects you don’t normally realize and see how they actually do affect you and those around you on a grand scale. My energetic aura must shine on a subtle scale that when I drink Huachuma just elevates it into an energetic tour de force. It is really quite incredible to experience how intense the energy is within, how it emanates, and how I can share it with others. When I find another being I can then harmonize my energy with then the connection is magical and a power radiates from that connection that puts you in a state of such sharing and pleasure it is heavenly. I need to ponder if that is what life is all about on all levels? Is it finding a connection with another energy form that electrifies and lights you up? Now that I have found it and experienced it enough I wonder if the energy fields I resonate with are limited or if there are plenty of fields out there you can share the experience with? There’s always more so the journey is far from over and there’s is more to explore. From a personal standpoint I wish to go way deeper into Huachuma. I can’t honestly say I want to continue with Ayahuasca at this point but I do realize there is a synergy with Huachuma when done first to heal and purify so I will respect that modality and synergy between the two plant medicines.

There are also a couple take aways from working with the medicines this time around. One is to be not only a shining example of their ability to transform you into a fully integrated human being but also to be a grounded ambassador to the plants and be more vocal about the benefits and profound discoveries that are available and can be gleaned from working with them. In addition I made a promise to Pachamama to be a champion in terms of environmental concerns. The earth is our home, our sustenance, and our playground which allows her children, the divine female and masculine, that have come forth to experience her bounty in a physical form. We are ignorant and dismissive of her unconditional love and destroying her gift. We as a species are cognizant of this but we need to sense the urgency and enact change. This can be accomplished through awareness and ceremony along with the teachings of plant medicines.

I used to conclude my plant medicine journey recaps with some kind of declaration that I will probably be moving on from that modality of exploring my consciousness. I have stopped doing that as first of all if hasn’t been the case but also because I’d be foolish to stop. I’ve come this far and feel currently that the working relationship I have with them is next level and that is the exciting part I wish to keep exploring. In terms of Huachuma this trip the gate was wide open, I went in and found not only answers I was seeking but the magic available when we break out of mundane consciousness and raise our vibration. I’m ready to go headlong into this exploration.